POSTED: The Home

Swan 5

“You have to take responsibility for your own part in this!” Jared was yelling, literally yelling like I couldn’t fucking hear him.

“I was helping Sue with gathering the rest of the group up to their rooms, how am I supposed to watch her and do that?” Mike yelled back. They had been doing this for a while. They sent me to my room like a child while they argued in Jared’s room like divorcing parents.

“You realize you don’t need to watch me like a two year old?” I said to no one in particular, not as if they could hear me anyways.

“I am sure a woman who has been running this house for over 20 years is able to run off a few residents to their rooms!” Jared yelled back.

“Well where the fuck were you? Huh, where were you when shit went down and I was helping out the house? In here, with your books?” Mike challenged. I don’t know what kind of response was made but Mike scoffed. “Yeah, that is what I thought. Try being involved with something other then fucking books and files and I guarantee you that you will reach her a lot faster!”

I heard boots approaching my room and I stood up fast and watched Mike enter my room again. He walked to me and grabbed my wrist pulling me with him as he headed for the door. I didn’t say anything as he dragged me through the house and down stairs. They must have been arguing for a while because the house was practically empty and quiet. We hit the porch and started for the stairs and I hissed at him “Mike, where are we going?”

He stopped and let me go scrubbing his face. “I don’t know, just away from that room before I punched your shrink in the face.”

I giggled and sat on the steps pulling out a smoke, lighting it and handing it to Mike. I know he didn’t often smoke, but he looked like tonight he probably needed it. He took it without arguing and took a long drag. I lit myself one and looked up at him. “What’s up Mike, what is going on?”

He sighed and shook his head. “Your shrink seems to think that I should be 100% baby sitting you or else not be at the house as often as I am.”

I frowned. “I just told him today that you are the only friend I have, how is keeping you away constructive?”

Mike shrugged and flicked his smoke offering a hand up, which I took. “I am going to go home before I change my mind on the shrink punching.”

I grinned up at him. “Alright Mike, I will see you tomorrow.”

He rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. “I actually have something to do tomorrow.” I frowned and nodded. “Alright, next day then.”

He nodded and looked undecided for a moment before leaning forward and kissing my forehead. I had to smile a little as he walked away so fast it looked like he had a sudden case of diarrhea that he had to get home to take care of.

I watched him drive away before I headed back into the house. I wonder if he wasn’t coming tomorrow because of Jared. What could Jared have said to Mike to make him stay away?

I was so busy thinking this over I didn’t notice the darkness of the house until I reached the top of the stairs. The eerie pitch that was dotted with little slivers of light coming out from underneath each room’s door. I slowly made my way along the hallway feeling the childish paranoia of what lurks in the shadows was quickly coming over me.

There was the sound of someone opening a door and the flood of light filled the hallway. I am not sure why I was compelled to hide, but I did, ducking into the upstairs common room behind one of the old looking recliner chairs. Heavy foot steps headed down the hall and I peeked as best as I could around the huge chair.

“No, she said bells.” Leah’s parole officer, Capt. Pretty said as he walked past the room. “I didn’t know if she was losing it again or it meant something until the woman that was standing out side the rooms watching it all happen, started shit with another resident. I found out from her therapist that her name is Isabella…”

I watched him go by and narrowed my eyes, slipping back down the hall and into Lee’s room. I closed the door as quietly as possible and looked around the room. There on the bed was Lee, her eyes were half open and she was groaning. I quickly made my way to her side and sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at her. “Lee, what the fuck are you doing here?”

She looked up at me like, but she didn’t really see me. Her hand went up then dropped to her side again with a heavy flop. “Why are you haunting me? You’re dead, what are you trying to do? Drive me back into the fucking nuthouse?”

I rolled my eyes at her and grabbed her hand putting it to my face. “You moron, I am right here. I am not dead, how could you be touching me if I am dead?”

“I have some pretty vivid fucking dreams, Bells.” She snapped, jerking her hand away.

I sighed. “Okay, what did you tell me at the hospital when I was having night terrors?” I lifted her hand again and put it in front of her face. “In dreams, you never have the correct amount of fingers. So look at your hand, do you see that? Five fingers.”

She stared at her hand frowning and then jerked so fast it made me jump to my feet. “This isn’t a dream. You’re real, here right now.”

I grinned sitting again. “I am here, right now.”

“Holy shit.” She frowned touching my arm. “But… the nurses said…at the hospital, you killed yourself.”

I smiled, but shook my head sadly. “No, that was Rebecca. Becka got out and her family shunned her and she didn’t get in with the work program. She started using again the second she got out from what I found out. She just…” I took a breath. “Lost the game.”

Lee scrubbed her face and shook her head, muttering under her breath. “Stupid bitch.”

I nodded in agreement, but then grinned back at her. “So they let you out finally?”

She tried to sit up, but quickly changed her mind lying back down with her eyes closed, breathing deeply. I felt for her, coming off of Adivan sucks. “Yeah if you can call this place out.”

I nodded, even though she had her eyes closed and couldn’t see me. “Looks like you got pick of the litter for a parole officer.”

She snorted peeking an eye open at me. “You have no fucking clue.”

“No, you obviously don’t have any fucking clue if you are in here right now.” Growled a voice behind us which was followed by the slam of the door. Capt. Pretty was standing there looking very angry, although I am entirely convinced that it was his normal look. “What do you think you are doing in here?”

I stood, my shock having worn off, and faced him fully. “Listen Captain Pretty, you don’t scare me like you seem to think you do, so knock the tough guy shit out. I have been around people and places that would make your pretty little face crumble with tears.”

He smirked coldly at me, but I didn’t even flinch. “That is so adorable that you think that your little stint in the Looney bin and jaunt through prison means that you are some tough bitch that has seen the world.”

I felt my anger rising and I balled my fists. “You have no idea what I have seen or not seen you fucking glorified babysitter! If you want to see how fucking tough I am, come and try me you—”

“Pa fè l.” Lee said softly from the bed. I stopped and looked at her. It had been almost a year since I had heard Creole and it took me by surprise. Don’t do it, she said. I opened my mouth to respond and she just shook her head again. “Jis pa, se pa yon valè li e li pa konprann nou.” Just don't, it's not worth it and he doesn't understand us.

I sighed and nodded, looking back at him and smirking at the confused look on his face. “Okay hotshot, you win, but how about a scene like today doesn’t fucking happen again, do you hear me?”

Angry man was back. “You are seriously threatening me right now?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely and I won’t do it again because, if I hear her screaming for you to get off her again…” I said without batting an eye letting a dangerous smirk cross my lips. “I will hunt you down and slice your cock off your package and use it as a pencil to write Ginger Beer across your forehead.”

There was a small growl from Capt. Pretty and a giggle from Lee on the bed. “She will too.”

He advanced on me, grabbing my left wrist, though I am not sure which form of painful removal he was going to go for, but he stopped when he saw my wrists, the little tattoo blatantly visible. He stared at it for a little bit before looking between Lee and I and letting my wrist go. He was looking at Lee but talking to me. “You need to leave. She has had a long day and I have a feeling tomorrow isn’t going to be any shorter.”

I looked at Lee who nodded so I headed for the door without a word and slipped into the hallway again. Jared was either in his room sleeping already or wasn’t in the room, so I flopped onto the bed and closed my eyes and promptly passed out.

The next morning I was surprised to wake on my own, no annoying shrink to bring me breakfast and get me ‘up and at’um’.  Instead Mike was sitting in the small wicker chair in the corner of my room, looking glum. I stretched and smirked looking at him. “I thought you had stuff to do today.”

He nodded and shrugged. “Something else came up. Come on you need to get dressed. Are you eating breakfast?”

I made a face and shook my head making a tiny smirk cross his lips. “Of course not. You know if you keep refusing meals that ol’ shrink wrap is going to order you meds that make you eat right? Or admit you into the hospital for trying to starve yourself.”

I snorted getting up and walking to the bathroom, leaving the door open. “Mrs. Smiley—”

“Sue.” Mike corrected.

“Right, well she has one of the nut jobs cooking this week. Have you tasted what this woman cooks? Yesterday my eggs had shells in them and I am pretty sure she used no filter when she brewed the coffee.” I finished peeing and flushed, grabbing my toothbrush and walking into the bedroom to grab my clothes as I brushed.

“Fine, tomorrow I will bring you breakfast, but you have to eat.” Mike said, scrubbing his face. He looked tired.

I walked back into the bathroom and shucked my clothes, changing into my usual jeans and hoody. I slapped some deodorant on and grunted at my hair before grabbing a hair tie and pulling it back, giving it the illusion of being brushed. I came out and grinned at him, holding my arms out and giving a quick one spin. “Okay, dressed and ready to face the day.”

He stood and led the way out the door and I followed obediently, frowning as I went. What was going on? Why did he look so grim? I quickly thought back at anything I managed to do that might warrant me getting sent back to prison. I stopped suddenly as it dawned on me.

Capt. Pretty turned me in for my late night visit to Lee last night. Mike must have heard my footsteps stop because he turned, looking back at me. “Swan, lets go. Don’t make this harder for me then it is.”

“Harder for you…?” I went into panic. “Mike, come on, Mike. You can’t be sending me back.” I said quickly walking over to him grabbing his hands and looking up into his eyes. “Mike, please don’t do this. I didn’t even do anything, I just wanted to talk to her and Capt. Pretty came in and…I swear Mike I didn’t do anything.”

Mike closed his eyes and swore under his breath. “Swan, you threatened my superior. I have no control over this and if you make me carry you, it’s going to be worse for you.” I tried to pull away from his hands and back up but he saw it coming and held me tight. “Don’t swan because if you try to fight me, I will win and I won’t be gentle.”

Too bad it was not the time to make a joke about that, because it was the perfect set up. “Normally I wouldn’t mind that, but you don’t expect me to go to prison quietly do you?”

He frowned for a second and then his features smoothed quickly jerking my arm and kneeling so that I was gracefully deposited over his shoulder. “Oh my god you are such an asshole Mike! I will never forgive you for this! You are no better then fucking Shrinky!” I shrieked, punching at his back, making sure to get some kidney shots in. Mike paid no more attention to me then if I was a tiny house fly, annoying but harmless.

He walked down stairs and then instead of heading for the door, he headed around the corner and then down the basement stairs. I didn’t even notice. I was blindly cussing him out in Creole. Having used it last night brought it all out me of me again. “Ou fukin bata! Ou pi bon mete m 'desann kounye a oswa konsa ede m', Bondye mwen pral rele ke ou yo ap eseye vyole m'!” (You fucking bastard! You better put me down now or so help me God I will scream that you are trying to rape me!)

I was suddenly falling off his shoulder and roughly dropped onto my ass on an old couch in an almost empty room. It was hardly bigger then a bedroom and had three fold out chairs placed in front of the couch. I was still breathing hard as I looked around and realized that not only did we not go to the transport van like I assumed we would, but Lee, the shy chick and both of their parole officers were in the room with me. I looked at Mike with a cross of anger and confusion. “What the fuck, Mike?”

Lee snorted handing me a cigarette. “That seems to be the question of the moment.”

I looked at the guys and lay back, lighting my cigarette with the offered lighter. “Alright guys, let hear this. What the fuck is going on?”

The three guys looked at each other before looking back at us. Psycho Parole officer, shy-girls guy, stepped forward slightly, sitting on one of the chairs that were lined in front of us. “Talo—”

“Ha! I told you she was the Talo!” I said triumphantly looking at Mike whose mouth corners twitched. The Psycho turned and glared at me and I glared back.

He turned back to the shy girl and went on. “Talo, I know you think this place won’t help and you want to be home, but just look at how that meeting with the shrink went. Could you do that all day everyday? Without me or sue or anything else as a buffer between you and your brother?”

She looked at him and shook her head almost grudgingly. He nodded and smiled slightly. “Good, now I know these men here, I work with them so from now on; all three of us are not your individual parole officers. Not according to us. All three of us are ALL of your parole officers.”

All three of us sat up straight. “What?!”

Captain Pretty looked at us with a triumphant smirk. “That is right kids, since the three of you seem to be unable to deal with NOT getting into trouble with each other, you have now sealed the deal on three wardens.”

I looked at Mike, who expertly avoided my gaze. “Are you fucking kidding me? Mike, this is bullshit and you know it. I don’t need three baby sitters.” I looked at Captain Pretty and narrowed my eyes. “This was your fucking idea, because you get your rocks off by torturing us girls.”

Shy girl’s parole officer and Mike both coughed, but the good captain just looked at me. “You have almost killed people on four separate occasions. You have a blatant disregard for rules, seeing how you snuck into my charges room last night and on top of everything else, I have a serious inquiry on just how close you are with your parole officer.”

I stood up only to be shoved back down again by Mike, who had grown balls enough to finally look at me. “Swan, chill the fuck out. I can’t be here all the time and when I am not, they are right, you need to be looked after.”

Lee spoke up looking at Mike and shy girl’s parole officer. “Well I may be the only one that is perfectly fine with this arrangement.” She said winking at Mike. “However, I still wouldn’t wish Sergeant here on anyone, not even my worst enemy.”

He looked at her and gave her a brilliant smile, which just made him even more pretty. Seriously, I wanted to put lipstick on the guy and put him on a corner to make me some money. “You, Clearwater, are here because it is obvious that I and you have shit to get through, so your headquack thinks it would be a good idea if I wasn’t all present in your recovery process. If I comply, I need someone to be watching you while I am not here.”

“That is the biggest cop-out I have ever heard.” She snapped back. “You would never do what some fucking shrink told you to do.”

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I got orders because of a call that your fucking queer shrink put in to my department.”

Lee burst out laughing, which of course made him growl in frustration. Shy girl’s parole officer stepped in before things got out of hand. “Look we have worked with sue to make it so that all chores, fieldtrips and practically everything else that is to be done while you three are in this house will be done together.”

Mike nodded and looked at each of us in turn. “The only time you are excused is when an individual parole officer or your assigned shrink pulls one of you away.”

“Sa se bullshit nèt sou tout pwen.” This is complete bullshit.

Lee and I both snapped our heads to the side to look where that came from. Our joint sudden movement made Shy Girl jump a little and look at us like we were insane. Lee looked at the boys, who all looked confused, although Captain Pretty looked annoyed, having heard us speak Creole the other night.

I laughed. “Èske ou trè enfliyan?” Are you fluent?

Shy Girl nodded and smirked at us. Well, they wanted us to bond. Lee looked at the both of us in turn and grinned wide. “Byen, paske m' ap ki pou di osi lontan ke sa a kontra avèk twa gardiens dure, nou pale pa gen anyen nan Angle.” Good, because I say that for as long as this deal with three babysitters lasts, we speak nothing of English.

I laughed hard and nodded. Shy Girl looked at her parole officer and back at us and a small smirk formed on her lips as she nodded too.

POSTED: The Home

Swan 4

Mike was over at the house bringing me smokes, like he did most times he came to visit and I decided to do a quality check on them outside when the unmarked cruiser pulled up making me smirk. Another one bites the dust.

I stopped mid-drag watching the newest woman being brought in, cuffs around her wrists. Apparently the new trend among parole officers is to hand out the silver bracelets to their charges as if they were diamond rings now.

Wait a minute…I know her. I know her.

I stood up as she passed and was about to follow her in when her parole officer spotted me, putting his hand to my chest to stop me. I looked at his hand and up his arm until I reached the particularly disgruntled look on his pretty face. That is what I could describe him as…pretty. “Where do you think you’re going?”

I took a drag of my cigarette and was bringing my hand down when my wrist was caught mid-air before I could butt the cherry out on Pretty-face’s hand. I glared at Mike, who was the one that caught my hand and looked back at Pretty, but he was looking at Mike now. “You need to watch your charge better. She was going after my girl.”

I snorted. “Right and Obama had my baby.”

“Swan, shut up.” Mike snapped, keeping his eyes on the other guy. You could practically hear the old western music as they faced off. “I am sure she meant no harm, excuse us.”

And with that bullshit apology, Mike jerked my wrist and I was going in the other direction. “What the fuck, Mike?” I snapped jerking my wrist back, making him stop his movements.

“Swan, I am not sure if all the shit you’ve done knocked a screw loose or what, but your filter that is supposed to catch things like putting your cigarette out on another person’s parole officer, will get you thrown in prison, that parole officer in particular.”

I gave a predominantly falsely dramatic gasp and a smirk grew on my lips. “Mike, you’re afraid of that guy?! Pretty no-neck guy, but why?”

Mike gave a sigh and shook his head. “I am not afraid of him…physically.” He dropped my wrist and scrubbed his face. “He is my superior, Swan. What exactly am I supposed to do?”

“Stand up to him, tell him he is being a douche bag and you know I wasn’t going after some random chick.” I said planting my hands on my hips. “I know her; she was someone I knew at the hospital.”

“You could have spoken up when you saw her, Swan.” Mike said sighing. “It gets you into less trouble. He looked over the top of my head and sighed again. “Speaking of trouble…your babysitter is here to pick you up.”

I looked where he was looking and grunted in a very non-female type of way. “Hey there Jared, anyone go to you yet?” I snorted at my own joke and looked at Mike’s lifted eyebrow. “You know, ‘He went to Jared’?” Mike still looked confused and I just shook my head at him, turning my attention back to Shrinky. “So what’s now my virginal Yoda?”

Jared rolled his eyes at me and gestured with his hand that we head inside. I followed him without a word and he led me to an office down stairs that was reserved for our little one on ones. He has been better about how he approaches some subjects and we even talked about my mother some.

Charlie was off limits for now.

I sat in the uncomfortable chair across from him and brought my legs up to cross them. “So what is on the soul searching agenda today, Shrinky?”

“Well Isabella, I think we should get more talking about the future today.” He said, ignoring the small growl I gave at him using my name. I have given up repeating myself telling him not to say it, but I won’t just sit and take it either. “I want you to tell me what you would like to accomplish with our sessions together.”

I grinned at him and uncrossed my legs, leaning forward some. “Well Jared, I would like to get you laid.”

He just smiled and shook his head. “You know what I mean, Isabella.”

“What, it’s the truth.” I smirked. “I hey, what about that shy chick out there. I’ll bet she is a freak. The shy ones usually are way kinky in bed.”

Jared’s eyebrows shot up and then she shook his head, as if clearing it. “Isabella that is not what I am talking about. What can I do for you with our one on one session’s?”

I licked my lips in a seductive way. “I don’t know, can you do any tricks with your tongue?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and I did a mental victory dance, knowing that usually meant he was done with me for the day. “I mean in a professional aspect.”

“I have a few tongue tricks.” I said unhelpfully sitting back in the chair in a lazy way playing with my nails. He didn’t say anything so I side eyed him and smirked. “Of course, for men and women.”

He looked like he was going to stop me for a second but then he just sat back in the chair, staring at me. Well, this is a new tactic. The face off. I wonder how far I can go with this. “For example, the woman they just brought in today, she was in the hospital with me. We had some good times there.” I wiggled my brows and he just stared. Hmm, alright let see… “Like this one time, one of the nurses let us up on the roof to have a smoke and they had just given us our meds so we were high as fuck and just started making out…”

There was the slightest shift in his seat, my smirk grew, and I leaned forward, getting into the story. “The nurse didn’t know what to do, right? So he just watched us making out, getting all hard as he watched and listened to us moaning. It was very sexy. Do you enjoy watching women kissing, Jared?”

Stone silent. “I slid my hand up he hospital gown and lightly touched her—”

“Isabella! That is seriously enough!” he finally snapped. Gottcha.

I tried to look innocent. “You didn’t stop me.”

He looked like he was going to get all red and angry like he usually does, but instead he took a breath and cocked his head to the side. “Why do you always go to sex? Why is that your go to move?”

I frowned sitting back again, thrown off by the question. “Sex can be a lot of different things to a lot of different people.” I said shrugging as I worked on regaining control again. “Two people could be having sex with each other and both of them are thinking it means two different things. One thinks love; the other could be getting one last fuck before they dump the poor sap.”

“What do you think sex means?” he said leaning forward, much like I was. “I mean you must have some thoughts on it since it’s what you think about so often.”

“It alleviates boredom.” I said simply.

“So you don’t take it as a beautiful way to procreate and bring a child of your own into the world?” He asked, so seriously that I actually laughed.

“Because all the world needs is another one of me running around.” I snorted.

“I think there would be nothing wrong with that.” Jared said seriously and wrote some scribbles on his notebook. “So if you think sex is just, something to do, then why do you think you are trying so hard to cure me of my virgin status?”

I grinned at him. “That is because you obviously need a little fun in your life, Shrinky.”

He put his notebook aside and sat still with his hands on his lap. “If it is so important, then why don’t you do it yourself?”

My jaw dropped and I shifted in my chair. “Umm, well Doc, because for one, this door doesn’t lock.” I joked. Did he really just ask me to pop his cherry?

“Okay let’s go up to the bedroom.” He said calmly.

“What? No, Mike already put me in a metaphorical chastity belt.” I said, thinking fast. “I am not allowed to have any type of relations with men while I am at the house.”

“That is a two year abstinence sentence. Why would he care?” he said frowning, losing his calm look. “Is Mr. Newton acting inappropriately towards you, Isabella?”

“He said that I am just going and looking for trouble when it usually finds me just fine.” I explained, looking Shrinky over. “You really want me to pop your cherry?”

He smiled and shook his head. “I would prefer it wasn’t out of boredom that I encounter my first time, but if you were so concerned for my well being, and then I was letting you fulfill your need to protect me.”

I grinned. “I am sure that is an important part of my acceptance process.”

“Can you tell me how many people that you would consider a friend since your parents passed away?” He said randomly.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Mike is probably the only thing I have that is even close to a friend.” I paused and then a slow wide grin spread across my face. “I did just re connect with Jacob Black again, he popped my cherry back in high school.” I smiled fondly remembering the entirety of the high jinx we got up to back then. “Man those were some good times.”

There was a knock on the door and Sue popped her head in. “Jared dear, there is a new resident that is in need of a one on one room with her therapist if you didn’t mind.” Shrinky was on his feet in a second and I followed, vacating the room just as the newbie was making her way towards us.

We walked past each other in the hall and I saw her side eyeing me as I was her. My left arm swung wide as we passed and hers did too, making our left wrists collide as we passed each other. “Hey, you want to watch where you’re fucking walking?” She snapped.

I turned to face her balling up my fist. “You want to fucking make me?”

There was a warning tone to my side. “Isabella, you calm yourself right now or I will use Ativan on you to get you to listen.” I looked at her Shrinky, whom looks as is if he were saying just about the same thing more or less to her.

 I smirked and bit my lip winking at the woman. “I will see you later then, Lee.”

“Tonight.” She promised with a small smirk back and we both turned away from each other, going our separate ways.

When we got to the room, Mike was waiting for me and I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you have your own home?” I joked, frowning a little when Jared took my left arm and brought to his face. “Umm…excuse you Shrinky, but I don’t think that is going to help you assess my mental state.”

“I practiced a year as a nurse for a retirement community back when I was going through my first few years of school.” He said turning my arm left, right, and bending the wrist here and there. “Well it doesn’t look like the collision damaged anything.”

This brought Mike to his feet. “What collision? Dude, I left you down stairs, what kind of collision could there have been?”

I put up a hand for both of them. “Now, wait a second all that happened was I was walking through the hall and winging my arms and the new girl was going the opposite way and we bumped wrists.”

Mike walked over doing the same thing Shrinky just did, making me roll my eyes. Jared was tapping a finger on his jaw. “What is that tattoo there, you don’t have any mention of a tattoo on your wrists in your file.”

I looked at the small ‘III’ on my wrists, which Mike was now studying, and gave a small shrug. “It stands for the third wing of Greater Columbia Behavioral Health.”

Mike’s head shot up and I avoided looking at him. I knew what he was thinking. When he picked me up from the hospital, it was from the front entrance and I wasn’t even cuffed. Everyone that knew the state system knew the third wing of the hospital meant those who were labeled ‘High risk’ and even the criminally insane go there, usually for life unless they can afford a fancy lawyer to get a privet facility.

Jared went on. “I get that but what does it mean, personally?”

I shrugged nonchalantly. “I had two roommates. We got close.”

Jared nodded and I headed for the bedroom door, suddenly not feeling like being cooped up anymore. “Where are they now, these roommates?”

I touched the door knob and closed my eyes, mentally detaching myself from the answer so that it wouldn’t sting so badly. I didn’t even bother turning back around to face him. “One is here, that is Lee, the one I ‘collided’ with down stairs. The other… she didn’t have a very good plan for leaving. From what I found out from lockup and the few newspaper’s that Mike here would smuggle me in the mornings, she was found hanging in the stairwell of her place a few days after being released.”

I opened the door and walked out, heading back down stairs, ignoring the urgent, whispered ‘Swan’ that followed me until we hit the porch. Then I spun on him, looking at him pleadingly. “Mike, take me from here, even if it is for a little while.”

He pulled me to him and rested his chin on my head and I fought him at first but then just gave up and embraced him. I felt better for it and I guess he knew I would. I hate that a little. “I can’t and you know I can’t.”

Just then shy girl walked by and headed off the porch to her stern parole officer that was waiting by his patrol car. I made an indignant voice, throwing up my hand to gesture at her. “Mike, look they are leaving, why don’t you take me for a ride?” I whined making him rolls his eyes at me. I grinned at his and leaned heavily on his arm pushing my chest out closer to him. “Or better yet, I can ride you.”

His face got red and pulled my arm until we were around the side of the house and he pulled out his phone as we walked off the porch into the grass. Whomever he called picked up and he gave me a quick look before saying into the phone. “Hello this is officer Newton; I am advising that I am taking monitor 896321 off of the grounds and out of range.”

I perked up and started bouncing a little as he finished his phone call. He laughed and shook his head. “Small walk, you hear me?”

I nodded fast and bolted for the woods spinning when I get just inside the tree covering. “You have no idea how awesome this really is.”

Mike snorted and I looked behind me, slowing down some so he could catch up. “Swan, you have been institutionalized since you were 19, trust me, I get it.”

I frowned a little walking in step with him. “Mike, why aren’t you like… married with a bundle of children and a white fence and all that jazz? Well I do know that one of the problems is that you spend way too much time here with me.”

He looked at me and stopped walking. I stopped too looking at him back. It was a look-off. He stepped closer to me and spoke so low I had to lean closer to hear him. “I would much rather be here spending the two years of your sentence in this house every chance I get, then go home and know that you are here doing it yourself.”

There was a tension between us. That electric you get right before you kiss someone for the first time. It was there between us now and I watched as he shifted, leaning closer. Apparently he is saying fuck his job at this point. I grabbed his collar and pulled him closer, so our lips were almost touching.

A scream for help rang out of the house.

We both sprint back to the house, of course he is moving faster because he doesn’t have a stupid ankle monitor on. The screams are still going when we hit the stairs and then just stop abruptly. Lee’s shrink and Mrs. Smiley ran by us and I whispered to Mike. “Lee, Mike. It was the new girl, Lee!”

Mike followed the shrink and I followed Mike and we all headed to where I guess was Lee’s room. It sounded like she was fighting everyone. I could hear Sue’s voice trying to calm her. Mike went right in to help with the situation and I just leaned against the door watching them all tackle my naked former roommate. I saw her shrink pull out a needle and I was mentally coaching her. ‘Lee stop, stop fighting them it’s fine.’ 

It didn’t work, the shrink jabbed her trapezius and the drug took seconds to work, making her lose all fight completely. Ativan. Leah used to hate Ativan because it always took so long to go through her. I heard her say something but I couldn’t make out what it was.

Mike was leaving the room again and he stopped by me. “Stay here, I am going with Sue down stairs real fast and I will be right back. Stay here.”

I nodded smiling innocently and he rolled his eyes at me and left.

“Whoa, guess she was having a hard time adjusting, huh?” said a quiet voice behind me. I turned to see the shy girl.

I narrowed my eyes a little but smiled at her when I half turned to face her. “So, Rachel.” I said her name as if it were a sarcastic come back. “As it turns out we could have been in laws at one point.”

She frowned and cocked her head at me without saying anything and I turned to her completely. “You see your little brother Jakie and I were fucking like rabbits back in the day.” I smirked watching her face go through a plethora of emotions. I leaned in close whispering into her ear, making sure there was the right amount of seductive breathiness to it. “I popped his little man cherry and we fucked all over la push. If I had stayed, who knows, maybe I would have been your sister in law.”

I laughed at the disgusted noise she made and turned to look back at Lee, hoping it was enough to get the little fucker to run off in an emotional panic. I heard a snort and I looked back seeing her smirk. “I doubt that would have happened if you stayed. You see, my brother is chief and everyone in la push knows what a fucked up crazy slut you are, so there would be no way that he would have been with you for longer then it took to use you like the whore that you are.”

Wow, nice.

I pulled my fist back and it was suddenly wrenched back behind me, my finger tips touching my spine. I growled bucking against the hold, but it was pointless. I looked back as saw that it was Captain Pretty-face and he was looking like he was in no mood for my shit, so I fought him hard. I saw Jared running up the hall way and suddenly instantly went limp and dropped to my knees and put my forehead to the floor.

Riot position at the hospital when the guys with the needles start moving in. You drop to your knees and put your forehead to the floor and it shows that you are lucid and able to cooperate so they don’t have to stick you with the needle.

Jared grunted and sighed. “Just stake her back to the bedroom.” He said, sounding tired.

Well, I almost had a problem free day.

POSTED: The Home

(Signed: Blacksheep Fiction = Swan)

Swan 3

The smell of food turned my stomach again and I pushed my face further into the pillow. The relief lasted for all of two minutes before the door to the room open and then shut again and the smell increased ten fold. “Rise and shine, sleepy head, I have breakfast for you.”

“Fuck off I am not hungry.” I snapped, trying to kick his ass off my bed without success where he had perched.

There was the sound of a tray being set on my night stand and a heavy bounce on the bed before I was being dragged out of my comfy paradise. “What the fuck?”

“You need to get up and to put it mildly, you stink.” He said casually as he carried me to the shower. I started to squirm out of his grasp but he held tight. “Stop it before I drop you. I will stay in there and wash you myself if you don’t behave.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Isn’t that some kind of breech of patient and doctor relationship thing?”

“Not when it’s done clinically and without emotion.” He said, planting me on my feet and turning on the warm water. “Now, are you going to do this the hard way or the easy way?”

I smirked, loving how he just made shit so easy for me. I sat on the shower floor and glared up at him. He sighed and shook his head. “Alright, we are five today. I got it.”

Jared reached over, pulled the shower tab making the water go from the spigot to the sprayer, and it hit me full blast making me gasp. I stayed stubborn though, not moving as the water pelted me. To his credit, he stayed true as well, getting soaked as he peeled my clothes off in a detached way. He scrubbed me down and even did my hair, which I know was a bitch because there were pounds of the stuff and you only get four showers a week at the hospital and I hadn’t gotten any in jail. It took three shampoo and two conditioner rounds to get it clean and unknotted.

When he was satisfied that I was clean, he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower toweling him self off, soaked clothes and all and walked out of the bathroom and into his room, which was easy because, it was a dormer type bathroom, so our bedrooms were connected through it.

He came back with clean dry clothes on and I still sat in the bottom of the shower, glaring at him. He held out the towel as you would to wrap around a child. I stood slowly and stepped out of the shower, ignoring the towel and walking back into my room naked, not giving a damn about the puddles I was making along the way.

I wouldn’t tell him, but I actually felt better having taken a shower. I felt lighter and just… better. Only thing that would make it better would be sprinkling some getting laid into the mix. I turned to Shrinky and smirked. “Hey there Shrinky, how firm are those doctor patient morals of yours?”

He lifted a brow at me and busied himself in the bathroom. I guess being detached and clinic only lasts so long. “Rock solid, Isabella. Get dressed.”

“Don’t call me that.” I grunted out and sighed, flopping on the bed, ignoring his request. “Well damn.” I sat up to my elbows fast though as another thought came to me. “You know, Mike did have a thing for me in high school. I’ll bet I could get him over here for some fun.”

Jared sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You know I could get Sue in here to dress you. She is kind, but I guarantee she won’t be gentle or sweet about a grown ass woman who refuses to dress herself out of some little childish tantrum.”

My brows rose into my hairline and I smirked at him. “Well, well, well. The doctor does have a set of balls under that dress he wears. His balls are apparently named Sue, but still. The fact that the threat was thrown out is a step in to the manly direction.”

He stomped his way into my room and came right up to the edge of the bed. “You are not a petulant sixteen year old child Isabella. You don’t get to act this way in the normal world and have it be alright with everyone because of what happened to you.” He seethed. I lost all humor in me and suddenly, I wanted to cover up. “What happened was horrible and should never happen to anyone, but it doesn’t give you a free pass!”

I sat up pushing past him and opened my duffle. I rummaged around inside until I came out with a white tank top and gray sweats. It felt like everything was spiraling down into darkness and I was trying to claw my way back out. “You don’t know anything about that.” I choked, trying to shove the clothes over my body in a hurry. I spotted Mike’s business card that he said he had thrown into my bag. “You don’t know anything about anything, you’re like 12, straight out of shrink school!”

I didn’t turn and look, but I could feel Shrinky right behind me. “Yes I do, I have read what happened to you. I researched it non-stop since they handed you to me as my only and high priority case. I have yet to find out why you were so high priority though.” He was speaking calm, but I could hear the fury leaking into his voice. “You act like the world owes you a favor when really; maybe you should be thanking the world for leaving you intact and not ending up like your family.” I covered my ears but he grabbed my wrists and uncovered them again. “You are not the only person in the world to lose their family in such a tragic way. There are people all over the world that had even had it worse, but they are still walking around and surviving each day like a normal person. They are not in and out of mental facilities and jail. They are not treating everyone else like shit just to make themselves feel better!”

I spun on him looking him dead in the eyes and feeling the almost comforting heat rise in my body that signaled the moments before I completely lost it. “You know nothing about it. NOTHING. Give me your phone.” I clenched my teeth when he just stared at me without moving. “Give me your fucking phone.”

Slowly he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small cheap phone. Something I would have called a burner phone when I was on the streets. I flipped it open and dialed Mike’s number from the card he left him my duffle.

“Isabella, if you just get over this—”

“Don’t. Fucking. Call. Me. That!” I ground out. “Fuck you, how about I cut off your fucking balls and then let me repeat to you how you need to get over it.” I snapped.

“Swan?” I had never been so relieved to hear my parole officer’s voice. “Oh god, Mike. Please come get me, this was a mistake. I am about to stab my shrink in the eye with the Chinese hair pick I have in my duffle if you don’t come and get me right now.”

There was soft swearing on the other end before Mike’s smooth voice came back. “Okay is he in front of you right now?”

“Yes.” I said honestly, eying Shrinky contemptuously. He was looking back at me with a cautious look.

“Do you have a weapon on him?”

“No.”

“Hand him the phone.” Mike said gently.

“No.”

Mike sighed. “Swan goddamnit, you know that if he sends one bad report to Tyler and Tyler is feeling even a mite spiteful today, you will be going to prison.”

I growled, feeling the tears run down my face without my permission. “He is talking about my family like he knows what happened!” I yelled. “He doesn’t know me! He doesn’t know them!”

“Give him the phone, Swan.” Mike said, more authority leaking into his calm soothing tone.

I cried out, throwing the phone in frustration and sitting heavily to the floor, just staring straight ahead at nothing. I wanted to feel nothing. I closed my eyes, praying for numbness, but it didn’t come. Instead, came the usual assault of senses from that day. The smell of my father’s cologne, the sound of my mother screaming, the smell of gun powder and blood mixed. 

There was a snapping noise and Jared’s face hovered in front of me. “Isabella, come back here. You’re in La Push home for women. Do you know what day it is? Can you hear me?”

I skittered backwards away from him frowning as I came back into the present time. There was a bang on the door and Jared stood up and opened it, talking low to whoever was on the other side. Finally he moved aside and Mike walked into the room looking around.

I made a desperate noise and was on my feet running at him as soon as I saw him. He caught me, allowing me to wrap myself around him, shaking badly as all my emotion drained from my body. He held me close to him, a hand holding my head to his chest and one at my back practically supporting me.

I felt the stubble from his chin on the top of my head and inhaled the smell on his jacket. It felt slightly damp, which meant it was probably raining outside. He was murmuring softly and stroking my hair. “Its okay, you’re going to be fine, Swan. You’re right, he doesn’t know you. It’s okay.” He put my back to Jared, so he could face him, I guess. “Have you lost you’re fucking mind? What the fuck is wrong with you?” It took me a full three seconds to realize he wasn’t talking to me.

“She needs to learn that the behavior and attitude that she uses to keep herself from coming to grips with the past isn’t acceptable behavior in the normal world.” Shrinky said. His voice was a tad defensive.

Mike sighed rubbing my back and pulling me towards the door as if shielding me from the horrible memories that threatened to invade me. “You don’t fucking start right off the bat forcing her to face this shit outright. Are you a real fucking shrink, because right now you fucking suck at it?”

There was a small room off to the side up stairs, like a second common room, that Mike took me too after we left my room. Shrinky didn’t follow. “Okay your safe now Swan, you can let go.” I shook my head and remained locked around his waist, making him laugh. “You know if people think we are too close, they will assign you another probation officer.”

My grip went slack and I stepped away from him at once, looking up at him with a smirk, before rubbing my face in frustration. “Look, I know it’s pathetic, I am sorry, but you said if I was about to do something wrong I should call you. I was seriously going to shank the fucker.”

He shook his head and reached for my hand holding it lightly. “I am glad you did, I do not want to have to come here to arrest you for murdering your shrink.” He let go of my hand as if he just realized it wasn’t proper behavior of a parole officer and instead ran his fingers through his hair. “Look, you know he is only doing his job right?”

I shrugged sitting down in one of the chairs. There were noises around the house, sounds of the other girls out and about I supposed. Not like it was a bright beautiful morning, according to view from the window in here, it looked like it was pouring again. “Yeah well he came on like molasses and that shit is hard to choke down, you know?”

He smiled slightly and nodded. “Yeah I get it, but you have to try too.”

I rolled my eyes nodding. “Yeah I know.”

Mike sat down next to me and touched my face so that I would look at him. “Don’t you think it’s time? Time to just face this and move on, I mean, you have been carrying this heavy weight of what happened for so long. Look at what it’s done to you so far. Look at where it’s gotten you.”

I sighed, not wanting to agree with him at all. It’s made me strong and able to handle the simple bullshit of life without falling apart. No, it wasn’t time. I smirked at him in a suggestive way. “You know I was going to call you anyways.”

Mike frowned at me for avoiding the subject and sighed. “Oh yeah? Why?”

I shrugged leaning closer to him, biting my lip a little. “Well Shrinky in there forced me to take a shower. All manhandling me as he washed me, but when he was done I thought, well now that I am clean, I need a good fuck.”

Mike swallowed audibly and I grinned. “So I thought of all the fun we had in high school and maybe we could use this parole officer thing to our advantage.”

My hand slid up his leg and he shot out of the seat as if someone jabbed his ass with a needle. “Whoa, whoa, whoa there Swan. You know we can’t do anything like that. I will be thrown off this case and you will get some hard ass. Trust me; there are a bunch of them in the department.” 

I sighed and laid back in the chair looking up at him. “Yeah I actually saw one the other day; he cuffed his girl just to sit in a group meeting. This chick wasn’t even like psycho or anything. In fact she reminded me of the Chief’s Talo from back in the day.” I snorted. “I like you a lot Mike, but if you cuff me for no reason, I will kick your ass.”

He grinned at me and offered a hand so I could stand. I took it and we headed down stairs. “You hungry?”

I shook my head violently and covered my belly. “Oh god no. Shrinky drugged me with Ativan last night and that is still fucking up my stomach today.” I explained, letting him lead me to the porch. He stopped me by the railing and turned me around to face him again.

I watched as he dropped to one knee, checking my ankle monitor. He was already different in the few seconds it took to get outside. He was tense and had a pissed off air about him now. I could see the muscle in his neck ticking. I frowned at him when he stood up, poking the muscle with my index finger. “Why so serious?” I joked.

He shook his head running his fingers through his hair again before pulling a new pack of smokes out of his jacket pocket and handing them to me. “Here I got you these last night; I figured that you would need them today.”

I took them, but was still looking at his tense face. “Thank you, but that isn’t going to make me forget I just asked you what was wrong.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Okay so let me get this right, in less then 24 hours that you have been in this house, you were drugged, manhandled and physically washed and then berated for not coming to grips with watching your family get murdered right in front of you?”

I thought it over and nodded as I pulled a cigarette out and held my hand out for a lighter I knew he had. “Yeah that is about the size of it.”

Mike handed me the lighter and rubbed his face. “Look, I am going to have to go up and speak with this kid before I go. Are you going to be okay out here?”

I nodded shooing him along. “Yeah I am a big girl, I can handle being on my own out here for a while.”

He put his hands up in surrender and headed for the door. “Alright, alright, I am right inside if you need me.”

I sat in the old rocker I was in the night before and looked over the railing at the heaps of water falling down today. It would have been a beautiful day for a walk, if allowed to move more then 200 feet from the grounds that is. If Mike kills my shrink, I wonder if I will be given another, or they will just give up on me all together.

There was talking to my left, arguing really between two guys and some chick. I stared openly, enjoying the entertainment when I realized it was the shy chick and her over zealous parole officer, but who was…

“Jacob Black?” I said out loud before I could even stop myself. The shy chick and her parole officer took the opportunity to talk amongst themselves and the other man turned and looked at me. There wasn’t much time spent on my face before I could practically see the light bulb switch on.

“Isabella Swan, as I live and breathe, holy shit it’s you.” He said stepping forward holding out his arms. I went straight for him hugging him tightly and wrapping my legs around his waist laughing.

“Oh Jakie! What the hell are you doing here?” I mumbled into his neck, relishing the good memories that came from his embrace.

He grinned, pulling back some, but still holding me. “My sister is here, I was just visiting.” He shook his head as if still trying to comprehend my appearance in front of him. He finally set me on my feet again and I grinned up at him. “Well damn girl, time has done you very good.”

I grinned spinning as if I weren’t in old gray sweats and a white tank. I looked him over and bit my lip. “I could definitely say the same for you. Damn Black, I’ll bet you got either a brothel of women or a wife with forty kids.”

He shook is head, taking my hand and leading me along the deck for a walk. “No, actually, since dad died, I have just taken over as Chief; I am also on the police force, so I haven’t really had time to have either.”

My jaw dropped and I looked over at him as we walked. “A police officer? Jacob Black, you are not a police officer, how do you live with yourself knowing what we used to do?” I lowered my voice and leaned closer to him conspiratorially. “We used to break into the school so that we could get out of the rain, smoke weed in the nap room, and fuck on those little mats they had there!”

He laughed hard and coming to a stop when we ran out of porch to walk on. He turned and faced me smirking mischievously. “Well only I and you know about those things, I could always just off you and the secrets will always be safe.”

I grinned licking my lips. “Or we can go do them together again.”

He leaned in close to my ear, speaking in a breathy whisper that made me shiver. “You don’t have another cherry I can pop for you and I don’t have the rabbit anymore.”

I put a hand to his chest to steady myself and laughed when he moved back some wiggling his brows. “Yeah well I popped your cherry that night too, baby.” I said feigning a glare. “Besides, we did it in more places then the rabbit and the school.”

Jake gave a smirk and shrugged. “Yeah well, you gott’a be sure right?”

I laughed hard. “Be sure that the virginity status was well and gone?”

“Exactly.” He said laughing with me.

“Where the fuck did you go, Swan?” Mikes voice cracked like a whip making me jump. I turned fast, feeling guilty for having told him I would be all right and then wandering off. “You were supposed to stay by the door, no to go wandering off with random people.”

Jake put a hand up in soothing gesture and stepped forward some. “Relax Newton, we are old friends and don’t act like I am some random person, we work for the same police station.”

Mike narrowed his eyes at Jake and shook his head. “No, you are no better then a PI with his dick in his hand, I am a parole officer and you wandered off with my charge.”

Now Jake narrowed his eyes and I knew shit was going to get bad. I came between them, looking at Mike. “Hey, hey its okay Mike, we were just talking and I am sorry about the wandering off thing. I won’t do it again, okay?”

Mike looked at me and grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards the front of the house again. I heard Jake protest, but Mike was too pissed to listen. He walked me right back into the house and started for my room again. “If you are going to make it out of here with out an extension to your sentence or getting kicked out for non-compliance, then you need to listen to what I tell you.”

“He was an old friend, Mike.” I said, finally getting pissed and jerking my arm away. “What is your problem?”

Mike moves us back into the upstairs common room and pushed me against the wall, putting his hands on either side of my head. “You and I are old friends too Swan and I don’t think he would give two shits if you got sent to prison.” He seethed his face close to mine. “I do, however, care. I care a lot and if you get mixed in with another residences family member, you are just asking for trouble, Swan.”

I frowned, nodding some. “But—”

Mike shook his head. “No, no buts’. You stay away from him and any other guy, Swan, I mean it. Normally you don’t even have to ask for trouble, it just finds you, so don’t go searching it out this time. Okay?”

I crossed my arms and sighed. “Fine, alright, I get it.”

He nodded and stepped back taking my arm again, more gently this time and leading me back to my room. Jared stood when we walked in and almost nervously moved his hands about, seemingly unsure to do with them. Mike leaned close to my ear. “Be nice, I have to go to the station, I will be back around dinner.”

I nodded, watching him leave before turning back to look at Jared, who still looked unsure. “I… apologize for my behavior before.”

I nodded and shrugged a shoulder. “Get it, but lets pretend I am a blushing virgin and you need to take it a bit slow, alright?”

He looked away rubbing his neck and I narrowed my eyes grinning slowly. “What’s wrong, you act like you’re the blushing virgin.”

He didn’t say anything, just kept looking at everything but me.

I gasped. “No shit! Really?”

He rolled his eyes and gave a small smirk shrugging. “I am a very dedicated student.”

I came into the room more, sitting on the bed. “Not even some heavy grinding? A blow job? Are you some kind of religious freak saving yourself for marriage?” I gasped a little being dramatic. “Are you gay?”

He sighed running his fingers through his hair. “I really don’t think—”

“If you want me to trust you this cannot be a one way street.” I said calmly, void of any thing other then a matter of fact tone.

His hands went up in surrender. “Alright, alright.” He said immediately. “No, nothing other then kissing and no, I am not a religious freak. I am not gay. I was seriously just a dedicated student.”

I couldn’t help it, I cracked up laughing, which of course mad him frown. We heard Sue down stairs ringing something the equivalent to a cow bell to signal everyone for lunch and I couldn’t help but think, this man was no longer someone I saw as a hurdle, but now I saw him as a challenge. I will get this man laid, even if I had to do it myself.

POSTED: The Home

                                                    Signed: Blacksheep Fiction = Swan

I did not hang around in my room. I have just spent a long time in a small room and then went to a jail cell. The last thing I wanted right now was to be held up in some room. I walked out of the room, slipping the key into my pocket. I wonder when my roommate will be around. I heard the little den mother Smiley calling everyone into some group therapy as I was coming down the stairs and snorted a little, walking past them as I headed for the door.

“Ms. Swan, aren’t you joining us for the group meeting?” Smiley said when she spotted me. I shook my head and smirked. “I got a date with the Marlboro man.” I joked, heading out the door and planting myself on one of the ancient rocking chairs on the porch. It was a nice night out, not too cold, though the usual clouds were covering the dark sky making it seem somehow even darker.

La Push never changed, I mean not in its core. People come and go. There were good people, bad people, kind and spiritual people, and hateful and bitter people. The land however, it’s core heartbeat. It never changes. I inhaled deeply and sighed lightly. I love that it never changed.

“Mind if I join you?” The male voice made me jump a little and I narrowed my eyes at the new comer. It was a man, which was my first suspicious fact, since this is a home for women. A very good looking man that had chocolate eyes, dark short hair and a kind smile. Why was everyone always smiling around here?

“Have you had a recent sex change, because if so, I would like to know the name of the voodoo doctor you used.” I asked as he sat next to me anyways, without the verbal okay to do so. The again I did ignore the question. “Why are you loitering around women’s home? Easy pickin’s?” I snapped my finger and nodded as if finally being enlightened with great understanding. “That must be it, right? Broken women are easy, right? Throw out a few compliments; leave out a trail of meth. You’re like the Candy man of the woods.”

The man had an amused smile on his face as he sat silently, watching me babble on about all the fucked up reasons he could be here. It was actually fun for a while, intentionally insulting this person’s very moral fiber and all the while he thought it was amusing. They need to make more of these types of men. “Sprinkle a little cock on some white roses and lure your battered victim into the woods with the promise of clean dishes and precooked meals.” I light another cigarette and laughed hard at the very image that my sick brain had conjured up.

“Can I ask you something, Isabella?” My silent visitor asked as he looked at me with his head slightly cocked to the side.

“Only if you’re not going to call me that again.” I snapped, losing all of my humor quick.

“It’s your name, I don’t use pet names or nick names, I use names.” He said, still keeping his calm exterior. “My name is Jared and I expect you to use it. Now, tell me, do you believe that you are a broken woman?”

Every single red flag that I have on my radar went up all at once. Oh god, he is a shrink. I rolled my eyes and flicked my cigarette over the rail as I stood up. “Great chatting with you, Shrinky, but I gott’a unpack.”

The man stood when I did and my eyes followed up. Now I am not a very big woman, but I got a big attitude to cover that up. This man however, made me have to look up when he stood. It wasn’t menacing or threatening, in fact, he was still wearing that amused look on his face, but you could see the seriousness behind it. He was handsome in a brooding kind of way. You could easily see him in some Romeo and Juliet tragedy looking moodily over every scene. He wore a suit, which looked awkward on him. He looked like he would fit much better with a pair of jeans and a heavy sweatshirt. “Isabella, you need to go to the group meeting that Mrs. Clearwater has set up for everyone because there are two of you new people today and all of the residence here deserve the respect of meeting you, especially the way that you arrived.”

“Don’t call me that.” I snapped automatically. “Respect? I am going to be here for the better part of quite a few years, Doc. I will save them the time, of having to go to the meeting. I will show them respect by not fucking with them and they will show me the respect of fucking off and leaving me alone.” I snapped, glaring up at him. “Don’t call me Isabella.”

I turned on my heel, heading for the door. Fuck this shit, I will call Mike and tell him they made a mistake in bringing me here. Tyler will just have to make good on his promise to lock me away for good.

I never made it to the door. There was a pinch in my right trapezius and I turned in time to see the dock putting the little orange protector back over the needle and slip the syringe back into his pocket. I opened my mouth to bitch him out and suddenly… forgot what I was going to say. Or no longer cared.

I started to wobble back and the Doc caught me, laughing slightly, helping me back to my feet. “Why did you give me that?”

“Relax and enjoy being relaxed. You see the great thing about Ativan is that if I inject it into the base of your neck, as I just did, it works within seconds. It only lasts about two hours, but it serves its purpose, which in this case was getting you to the group meeting.” I nodded and grinned. I was hearing everything he was saying, I understood everything, but I had a small leaking sensation in my brain that made me think I won’t be remembering it later.

“Should I call Mike?” I asked, hoping he knew who Mike was. I really was not at all interested in explaining how I knew him or why I would call him. I didn’t really care about anything at the moment. Except for maybe the color purple on this painting I was now face to canvas with.

“No, I will call Mike after the meeting to let him know what is going on.” Sexy doctor said behind me, just before the painting went sideways and started to float away. No wait, what?

I looked around me and saw that sexy doctor was carrying me. “Why can’t I walk?”

“Because you are easily distracted. See, at lease with me, I carry you in, if you called Mike he would do what Sgt. Lahote is doing right there and bring you down here in cuffs.” I am pretty sure I just licked his shirt.

“I like being carried better then cuffed, unless the cuffs are for fun.” I grinned at nothing and closed my eyes. “Sleep?”

“No, stay awake until after the meeting, then you can sleep it off all you want.” He plopped me down on a seat next to him and I looked around at a room full of chicks all sitting in a circle. Fuck I hate this drug shit. It makes it really hard to figure out if I am dreaming or this shit is real.

I turned to the shrink Jared and grinned. I’ll bet if I get him all hot that he will get me out of this shit. I tried to crawl up on his lap again, whispering close to his ear. “Come on, I want to go to sleep.”

“Isabella, I need you to behave now and try to pay attention. This group is going to help you.” He said easily, sliding me back to my seat. I smirked fixing my hair some. “I thought that was why they brought you in, to help me, why don’t you help me to bed and I’ll help you stay in bed.”

He gave me a reproachful look and I laughed, jumping slightly when someone started shouting about a tree. I shook my head, trying to clear the constant ADD that was trying to force its way into me.

Oh look, there is a penny on the floor.

Ms. Smiley started talking and I forced myself to look at her, but I got lost on watching how her lips formed the words she was saying. How the fuck is this shit supposed to help me when I can’t even focus on what is being said? I shook my head to clear it and put all of me into listening.

“…So the full list of rules will be on the bulletin board in the common room, but just remember; No smoking in the house at all. Keep your space clean. Report…” No smoking in the house, which is a fucking bummer, that means I have to walk my ass outside and stand in the rain to smoke. That shit is lamesauce.

Fingers snapped in my face and I turned to Jared glaring.

Everyone was laughing at something and I looked around the group to see the handcuffed chick standing up, looking ready to run and hide under her bed or something. “I’m Rachel.” She said quietly and then looked around at smiley who, of course, smiled. We all did the ‘Hi Rachel’ thing, though I really just made the appropriate noises without actually saying the words.

“Honey, tell us a little about yourself why are you here?” smiley said to the nervous girl. I snorted a little. There’s a loaded question.

The girl eked out a quick answer, which I guess infuriated one of the chicks. I think she was a chick. She looked like she took a dive into a pool of ugly and attitude and then drowned in it. “For fucks sake just tells us what makes you a nut case like the rest of us!”

Smiley’s smile was less bright and an odd mix of disapproval in there. I was fascinated by how she was doing it. I have never seen someone smile and frown at the same time. This woman was amazing.

I am pretty sure the penny on the floor moved three inches.

Shy girl suddenly flipped out and started shouting. “A nut case? I am not a nut case; I do not flip out when people make eye contact with me threatening to smash faces in. I, as a normal person, do not fucking freak out about imaginary cameras in paintings of trees, and I defiantly keep my lady bits in my pants.” She was panting. I was pretty sure she would hyperventilate herself. “You all might be fucking nut cases and fucking satisfied with being a low grade of a person but I am not. I am here because apparently taking a pad of paper is against the law and taking too many pills by mistake is a fucking crime that labels you batshit crazy.”

Smiley started to talk again.

Wait what? I glared at girl and suddenly I was talking before I even knew what I was saying. “You think we all started off this way?” I snapped, blinking when my focused wavered for a moment. Wait what was I saying? Oh right, the bi-polar bitch pissed me off. I shook my head to focus again. “Like we used to play crack head Barbie or some shit growing up? We all had dreams and shit but life threw piles of shit our way. I don’t give a fuck who you are or why you think you’re better all of us are here.”

I started to stand but was sitting again with a tug to my hand. “You’re the one out of all of us in cuffs, so you want to explain that? I am no better then you, but you damn well believe that there isn’t one of you bitches that are here better then me. These suited douche bags with your badges and your pointy needle drugs that are the low lives.” I shut up after that. No one needed specifics. I made my point.

I think. Hell I don’t even know what my point was. Other people were talking now so it didn’t matter. I was watching that tricky fucking penny though, I’ll tell you that. Fucker was not moving again without me seeing.

There was a tap on my shoulder and Shrinky was helping me stand. I looked at him and looked back at the penny, ready to pick it up. Who doesn’t need a moving penny?

It was gone. Damnit.

Smiley was standing in front of me with the shy girl and her little body guard. “Isabella, I would like you to meet Rachel, she came in only just today too.”

I glared at smiley and looked at the girl, who looked like she was on the flip side again and back to playing shy. I nodded at her and Shrinky poked my ribs. I grunted and sighed. “Hi.”

She gave a nod. “Hi there Isabella.”

“Don’t call me that.” I snapped.

She frowned looking at the shrink and her body guard. “Okay then… Bella?”

I shook my head glaring. “Don’t call me that either.”

She sighed and rubbed her face the best she could with the cuffs. I bet I could be out the door and up the road before they even moved. I eyed the door and then looked back at the group. Her body guard was eyeing me back and I lifted a brow daring him to try.

“Alright then, Izzy.”

“Jesus fucking Christ if you call me Izzy, I will choke you to death with your own fucking handcuffs.” I snapped, looking back at her.

“Well for fucks sakes, what do you want me to call you?” She finally snapped back at me making me smirk.

“I don’t want you to call me.” I moved past them and headed for the door only to be stopped by a hand on my shoulder and I tried to shake off but failed in my drugged state. I looked back and saw Shrinky behind me.

“That wasn’t very nice, Isabella.” He said directing me to the stairs.

“I don’t really give a shit, Shrinky.” I said heading up the stairs two at a time. At this point sleeps sounded much more appealing then escape. My feet where way too heavy to move any further and the stairs grew about 20 steps. I sighed, trying to sit, but was scooped up again by Shrinky. “You know I have been walking for a number of years now. All by myself and shit too, it’s a pretty awesome sight to see.”

Shrinky laughed and opened the door to our joined room, setting me on the bed before walking through the sheet door and flipping on a light switch in his room. “Stay there.” He said from the other room. I am pretty sure the meds where starting the ware off, which just goes to show how much I zoned off in the meeting I guess, or how long I can stare at a fucking penny. My head was starting to hurt pretty badly and I was almost positive I was going to throw up.

I groaned and stood up, stumbling my way to the bathroom. I started to retch and gag as I fumbled with the toilet seat. There was slap of feet against the floor and Shrinky came in sighing. “Didn’t I tell you to stay on the bed?”

I gagged and dry heaved over the toilet bowl and glared into the water. “Please tell me how any aspect of our relationship thus far has you believing that I will be doing anything you fucking say?”

There was another pinch in my neck and I turned to look at the doc too weak to do anything other then throw a serious mad face at him. “What the fuck did you give me now?”

He rolled his eyes at me and started to rub my back as I gagged over the toilet again. “Relax; it was caffeine nitrate, basically injectable coffee. It will counteract the effects of coming off the Ativan.”

He was right. Even as he was explaining it, the rolling of the room stopped and the nausea was subsiding fast. “You know I wouldn’t have had to give you anything tonight if you had just listened to me in the first place.”

Shrinky reached around my waist helping me up to my feet and, thankfully, let me walk by my self to the bed. I half joked, half snapped as I flopped onto the bed, ignoring my clothes that I didn’t have the energy to take off. “Did all your other roommates give in automatically and do whatever you say?”

“I have never had any other roommates who were my patients’.” He said evenly as he walked over to the bathroom sink and filled up a glass of water. He shook out three Tylenol and handed everything to me. I grunted taking the water and pills. “So you are saying in am you’re first? Like, you graduated out of shrink school and they used me to pop your cherry?!”

He laughed some and shook his head. “You are not my first patient.” He reassured, sitting how next to me on the bed and gently pushing the pills to my mouth so that I would take them. I complied, washing them down with the whole glass of water. He took the glass from me and set it on the night stand next to the bed. “I used to be a resident hospital psychologist; however this was more…fulfilling.”

I snorted nodding as I laid my head down on the bed. My eyes started to droop, but I was still talking. “Right, so they offered you twice as much to be in this secluded hell hole.” I joked, letting him move my arms and legs around as he attempted to carefully undress me.

“Absolutely.” He said calmly which made me laugh. I felt the covers being drawn over me and smoothed out. “Good night, Isabella.”

“Don’t fucking call me that.” I mumbled as I drifted off to sleep.