tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50344755314173008532024-02-08T02:11:27.085-08:00Black Sheep FictionThe Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-51813184836172168282014-03-17T15:14:00.002-07:002014-03-17T15:14:58.959-07:00POSTED: The Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Leah 4<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
There is a thick, caked layer of sand coating the insides of my eyelids,
scratching and clawing at my corneas in protest when I try with all my might to
will my eyes open, accompanied with the feeling of cotton filling my mouth
absorbing any tiny trace of moisture that dare arise. These are the glorious
feelings to which I am privy to wake with. The sound of a groan makes me stir
even further in to consciousness and force back my lids, as painful a task as
it is, to look around and find the source of the sound. To my surprise I find
the darkened room completely void of any other beings from myself. It is then
that I realize the groan must have come from me. Balling my hands at my sides
it takes a world of effort for me to coerce my muscles in to cooperation. If
for nothing else than to make it to my bathroom, brush my teeth and rid the
cotton dryness from my mouth before coming back to collapse for a night of real
sleep. That’s not too much to ask, right?<br />
<br />
Collecting my strength of will I roll to my side, which may sound to be a
meager task to anyone not doped with a near-lethal dose of Ativan, but that’s
where my energy and stamina give out. For just a minute I lay there, content to
be pissed off at the world, and stuck uncomfortably on my side while I make a
mental note to kick the shrink’s ass that stuck me with the damn syringe.
Sighing in defeat I push myself back to lay on my back, landing with a groan,
and stare at the ceiling through the cracks that are my half-open eyes.<br />
With my eyes still fighting to hold off the sandy weighted lids, I notice
the smallest beam of muted light dance in a line across my ceiling before it
disappears again. My mind had not yet abandoned the thoughts on why or how
light was dancing on my ceiling, as gracefully as a lopsided two-legged
elephant, when I felt the shifting of my mattress. “Lee, what the fuck are you
doing here?”<br />
<br />
My eyes rolled in my head and I wanted to throw my arm over my eyes in an
attempt to hide me from the ghost of my late roommate, “Why are you haunting
me? You’re dead, what are you trying to do? Drive me back into the fucking
nuthouse?” Oh God. It’s a hallucination; that has to be the only explanation
there is. I’m hallucination now. It wouldn’t be the first time Ativan has
caused such reactions in me. Well, as long as I’m seeing dead people now, I
might as well look up and face the music, theoretically.<br />
<br />
I noticed the very typical behavior of her rolling her eyes at me and I was
so focused on it that I was almost shocked when she grabbed my hand from where
it lay on the bed, and put it to her face. “You moron, I am right here. I am
not dead, how could you be touching me if I am dead?”<br />
<br />
Was this some kind of damn joke that now I’m being taunted besides? If it
was, it worked and I snapped on the apparition, jerking my hand out of her
hold, “I have some pretty vivid fucking dreams, Bells.”<br />
<br />
There was the briefest of pauses before she sighed, “Okay, what did you tell
me at the hospital when I was having night terrors?” Why? It’s the question
most predominant in my head, screaming for an answer as to why this is all
happening. It took me so long to come to grips with everything that had
happened, and now this is threatening for me to lose my shit. My dreams have
never been quite <i>so </i>vivid and painfully accurate. The next thing she did
punctuated that fact perfectly when she lifted my hand again and put it just an
inch front of my face such that I have no choice but to look, and listen.<br />
<br />
“In
dreams, you never have the correct amount of fingers,” she explained as if I
were a toddler needing to be spoke to in a slow, deliberate manner, “so look at
your hand, do you see that? Five fingers.”<br />
<br />
I couldn’t help it, she didn’t leave me much of a choice, so I stared at my
hand frowning as I counted my digits over and over, just to make sure. <i>One,
two, three, four, five… One, two… </i>Holy shit! This really is my Bells, my
best friend. A woman I’d grown to love and need in my life. A woman I have
grieved and mourned, and even attempted suicide just to be with her again. The
one person who knows every last thing a person, who isn’t me, could know about
me. The speed with which I jerked my hand away from her made her jump to her
feet. “This isn’t a dream. You’re real! Here! Right now…”<br />
<br />
As she sat back down on the edge of my bed, less reserved and unsure this
time, she wore her trademark Cheshire,
shit-eating grin, “I am here, right now.”<br />
<br />
“Holy shit.” Words couldn’t begin to explain the meaning and the timbre
beneath my exclamation, and I know it, which makes me frown even harder as my hand
reaches up to touch her arm. “But… the nurses said…at the hospital, you killed
yourself.”<br />
<br />
I watched her smile, but shake her head sadly mulling over her words before
she spoke them, “No, that was Rebecca. Becka got out and her family shunned her
and she didn’t get in with the work program. She started using again the second
she got out from what I found out. She just… lost the game.”<br />
<br />
My heart sank and I weakly lifted a hand scrubbing it down my face and
shaking my head, muttering under my breath, “Stupid bitch.” Of the three of us
that had been roomed together at the institute, Bex had seemed to be the most
put together and with it. Damn, she played it off well enough to have both
Bells and I convinced. There is a part of me, albeit an infinitesimal part but
a part nonetheless, that wants to mourn all over new again, but the feeling of
having been played makes that a difficult task to accept. The only thing I
truly regret and feel grievances towards is the fact that I almost followed the
bitch’s sorry ass because I thought… No, it wasn’t Bells. That much I need to
get out of my head because she is here, with me, alive and well enough.<br />
<br />
I watched her nod her head in agreement and grin back at me, “So they let
you out finally?”<br />
<br />
Trying to sit up so that I could bring Bells close to me and give her a long
overdue hug, I pressed my elbows in to the mattress on either side of me and
pushed up. I made it not even halfway before my arms gave back out again, the
world spinning, and I laid back down closing my eyes and doing a bit a deep,
labored breathing to fight off the wave of nausea. “Yeah, if you can call this
place out.”<br />
<br />
I don’t know what she was doing, but knowing her as well as I do I imagine
she is nodding, or smirking, or something to that effect before I hear her
response, “Looks like you got pick of the litter for a parole officer.”<br />
<br />
That just about summed it up. “You have no fucking clue,” I snorted out and
peeked a single eye open at her from under my forearm that is strewn over my
face. A wide grin cracked my features and it actually pained me, I couldn’t
begin to think back to the last time I had smiled at all, much less grinned so
wide.<br />
<br />
I heard the creak of the door as it flew open before the growling voice
barged in to the room, uninvited, “No, you obviously don’t have any fucking
clue if you are in here right now.” The slam of the door followed <i>Sergeant
Asshole’s </i>arrival and I twisted my head to see that he was standing there
looking as pissed off as ever. I groaned and rolled my eyes, lacing my free hand
with Bells’ where Quil couldn’t see it, repositioning my arm back over my eyes.
This is the last fucking thing I want to deal with right now. “What do you
think you are doing in here?”<br />
<br />
To my shock it was B that answered by bolting upright to stand on her feet
after the smallest fraction of a second, and squared her shoulders to him,
“Listen Captain Pretty,” don’t laugh, don’t laugh Leah. Do. Not. Laugh at that
nickname.<span style="color: red;"> </span>“You don’t scare me like you seem to
think you do, so knock the tough guy shit out. I have been around people and
places that would make your pretty little face crumble with tears.” Now my
shocked expression was turned to meet the back of her head, mouth falling agape
and everything as she stood her ground and, what, threatened him? No, that
wasn’t a threat, especially coming from her. I know her well enough to
understand that much.<br />
<br />
When I finally closed my mouth again and turned my eyes over towards the
door I saw Quil wearing a frigid, evil smirk on his lips that made my skin
crawl, “That is so adorable that you think that your little stint in the Looney
bin and jaunt through prison means that you are some tough bitch that has seen
the world.” As crazy as it is, I am beginning to feel like one of those
characters in the cartoons that is stuck between two others while their head
flies back and forth, side to side, as they watch the exchange taking place
around them.<br />
<br />
“You have no idea what I have seen or not seen you fucking glorified
babysitter! If you want to see how fucking tough I am, come and try me you—”
Bells’ voice gave way to her anger that was quickly rising, and I know it too
well.<br />
<br />
“Pa fè l,” I said softly from the bed. It has been far too long since I had
spoken a word of my second language, Creole, but it all came flooding back to
me upon registering Bells to be alive and well. “<i>Don’t do it</i>,” I
repeated just as softly in the same foreign tongue. I saw B open her mouth to
respond but I managed to cut her off with a simple shake of my head, “Jis pa,
se pa yon valè li e li pa konprann nou.” <i>Just don't, it's not worth it and
he doesn't understand us</i>.<br />
<br />
Bells sighed and nodded, and I knew then that I had hit the mark that I
needed to find, I had gotten her to relax just enough that she wouldn’t go off
the handle on Quil. Instead, I pushed myself up slowly and carefully to watch
when she turned and was looking back at him. “Okay hotshot, you win, but how
about a scene like today doesn’t fucking happen again, do you hear me?” Well, I
did have her calm at one point, just seconds ago.<br />
<br />
“You are seriously threatening me right now?” Swallowing the lump that built
up in my throat I could plainly see that Quil was pissed off now. Opening my
mouth to intervene before the two of them get in to a match of their words,
Bells cut me off.<br />
<br />
“Abso-fucking-lutely and I won’t do it again because, if I hear her
screaming for you to get off her again… I will hunt you down and slice your
cock off your package and use it as a pencil to write Ginger Beer across your
forehead.” Quil was growling louder and louder, the sound bubbling through his
entire being as she spoke.<br />
<br />
The entire scene unfolding in front of me was too much and I can’t help but
giggle, “She will too!” The mere image of “Ginger Beer” being scrawled across
Quil’s forehead in any way, shape, or form just about has me in a laughing fit.
But my laughter is stopped dead in its tracks like a train with the emergency
brake pulled to derail the entire locomotive in the blink of an eye when Quil
responded.<br />
In two fast and heavy steps he closed the space between himself and Bells,
grabbing her left wrist in a way that looked like he was going to take it upon
himself and physically displace her from the room, but he stopped when he saw
her wrist, where I have no doubt the matching tattoo we share is staring at him
in a mocking manner, looking a thousand times bigger than it really is. My
eyebrow lifted seeing how he stared at it, studying it, for a little bit before
turning his look on me so fiercely I could have stumbled backwards had I been
on my feet. Quil quickly let Bells’ wrist go, keeping his eyes on me but spoke
directly to Bells, “You need to leave. She has had a long day and I have a
feeling tomorrow isn’t going to be any shorter.”<br />
<br />
There was a question written all over Bells’ face when she turned to look at
me, one that I couldn’t and wouldn’t have an opportunity to answer right now
even if I wanted to so I simply gave her a nod then watched her shape disappear
to a silhouette in the doorway before finally disappearing. It wasn’t even a
full second after she was gone that I was already wishing she was back here,
holding my hand, holding me and keeping me sane.<br />
<br />
“We need to talk, Clearwater,”
Quil’s formerly strict and authoritative voice broke the silence in a softer,
approachable tone. Begrudgingly I looked away from the door and met his look
head on, my brows furrowing together above my eyes as he moved with extreme
caution towards me, his hands held open palms out facing me.<br />
<br />
“What in God’s name do you want to talk about at this hour, Sarge?” my tone
was the exact opposite of his approachable, easy one. “Aren’t you the one that
just told B…” I stopped myself, knowing I am the only person able to call her
anything other than by her chosen nickname, “Swan that I had a long day, no
thanks to you, and tomorrow’s going to be longer? Can’t it wait? I’d like some
non-drug induced sleep, if you don’t mind.” My temper was edging and
threatening to escape my grasp, my eyes narrowing on his features.<br />
<br />
Quil sighed and gave an uncharacteristic roll of his eyes at me but kept his
hands up in surrender. “Yes, I did tell her that. No, it can’t wait. Yes, you
will get some restful sleep.” He paused just long enough to quirk his brow and
grab a breath before he carried on. “And you can cut the <i>‘Sarge’</i> crap,
Leah.”<br />
<br />
The way he used my real name brought me up short, even speechless. He had
answered all my questions, which I had meant to be rhetorical, honestly, in one
swoop and yet the way my name sounded coming from his lips was what made me sit
up and pay attention in a figurative sense. Reaching behind me I grabbed my one
pillow and tossed in on my lap then fluffed the second pillow behind my back to
serve as a prop against the headboard of my bed. Flopping back in to the pillow
I gathered the one from my lap and pulled it against my stomach, crossing my
arms in front of it, “Alright, I’m listening…”<br />
<br />
I am not a fan of how long Quil stays quiet and unmoving, the only signs of
life in him being the way he presses his fingers together and steeples them in
front of him resting his chin on them. I can almost hear the wheels in his head
turning, mulling over whatever it is that he wants to say. Here I had thought
that if it was so important that it couldn’t wait for morning, that it would be
right on the tip of his tongue. I’d steeled myself in preparation for the next
tongue-lashing I’d be getting because Bells showed up in my room. “You have to
know, Leah.” My brows pull together even further, a million different way that
this sentence could be finished, and none of them are really anything that I
want to hear right now. “There are...,” he paused as if he were thinking
carefully about how to say it again, “reasons. None that are easily explained
away, but reasons behind…”<br />
<br />
“Stop right there, Quil.” I put a hand up as my shield. Shielding my self
from who knows what the hell was going to follow all of that. “Just please,
stop. I don’t want to hear it right now.”<br />
<br />
I was floored when Quil’s hand wrapped around my wrist and lowered my hand,
my shield out of his way so he could lean closer to me. “You may not want to
hear anything, but like I said, you have to know this, Leah. I promise you,
it’s a game changer.”<br />
<br />
I stared at him, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks as hot as the natural
blush you get from too many hours spent in the summer’s sun before I yanked my
hand away and leveled him with a glare. “I said no.” Retucking my arm around my
middle and folding it, I sat stiff as a board just waiting.<br />
<br />
“I am not going anywhere, Leah. I’m not going away, no matter how big of a
fit you pitch. I’m here because I chose… No, I <i>choose</i> to be here looking
after you. My choice. I chose you.” Quil’s eyes, always the portal in to his
soul, danced with the blazing emotions of his words. In a slow-motion and
uncertain kind of way he lifted his hand to brush a piece of hair that had
fallen in front of my face aside, “I’m not going anywhere this time.” Seconds,
maybe a minute or more passed before I was able to form any kind of connection
from my brain to the rest of me, but I was interrupted by Quil gently prodding
me with his words, “Say something.”<br />
<br />
“Fuck you, Quil.” Shaking my head I start to push myself off the bed to make
some sort of escape but the lingering effects of the drugs have my extremities
still feeling sluggish and keep me grounded to my mattress which only makes me
more upset. The sting of my eyes warns of betraying tears threatening to spill.
Grounding my teeth together I throw an arm straight out, pointing a long
slender digit at the door. “Get out. I’m tired and I want to sleep, so kindly
fuck off and get the hell out of my room. Now.”<br />
<br />
The tiniest glimmers of victory flashes in my mind when Quil’s expression
actually reflects the hurt I’ve inflicted, the hurt continuing to resonate
through him when his hands return to the surrender posture as his protection
while he backs his way out of the room. “I’ll be here in the morning. Sleep
well, Leah.” A growl-like roar built within me, all the way from deep in my
belly only to finally escape after Quil pulled the door closed tight. Taking
the pillow from on my lap I launch it, with impressive strength, and feel
slightly more satisfied when it collides with the things on top of the dresser
and send them crashing to the ground before it hits the door with a thud.<br />
<br />
After all these years of trying to recover, how am I to be expected to make
any gains with that lingering over my head like a loaded storm cloud ready to
cascade down on me with no more than a moment’s notice? Flopping back in to my
bed, I grab up my pillow from behind my head and hold it to my face to muffle
the screamed profanities I have in honor of Quil’s profession of feelings.<br />
<br />
I had screamed myself to sleep at some point last night but once I was out,
I was truly out cold and not to be woken by anything. When the pillow I’d sent
through space smacked me in the ass, that happened to be up in the air with how
my legs were curled under me in a fetal position throughout the night, I jumped
lifting my head from the mattress and sending the other pillow that was burying
my head to the floor. “What do you want? I’m trying to sleep here.” My voice
came out pathetically whiney, but honestly, you don’t wake a sleeping woman.
Any idiot knows that.<br />
<br />
“Get up, get dressed, and let’s go. We’ve got a meeting, Clearwater.” Bossy, working Quil was back in
full force and I am more than thankful for that. “You’ve got five minutes to
get yourself ready, I let you sleep in. We’ll get food after. Come on. Chop.
Chop.”<br />
<br />
“Alright, alright, Jesus Christ, I’m awake.” Like a little child being
nagged by her mother, I huffed and threw what little amount of blankets I still
had on me to the floor and got myself up. Yawning and stretching as I crossed
the room to my small bathroom I grabbed at random clothing I crossed along the
way. I made quick work of brushing my teeth and combing my fingers through my
hair, that was standing in a million different directions, enough so that I
could pull the front half back in a clip. My natural, ethnic curls lying
haphazardly over my shoulders. With my toothbrush still in my mouth I managed
to step in to my loose-fitting jeans and jump to get them over the bubble of my
butt so that I could fasten the button closure on them. Without a care that
Quil is present I shrugged out of my tank-top I’d slept in and pulled on a
fresh one, at least by the sniff test it is fresh, then pulled on my long
sweater, and left it to hang open in front. Turning back to face the room and
the eyes on me I gestured to the door, stepping in to flip flops as I did,
“Alright, ready. Let’s go get this shit over with.”<br />
<br />
Without a word Quil lead the way, all businesslike again, down to the
basement meeting room where we are the first ones to arrive. Parking my ass on
the couch when I’m told to, I pull out one of my cigarettes and light up,
ignoring the glare he gives me, and sit quietly as some other hardass brings
his girl in and seats her on the opposite end of the couch from me, leaving a
space between us. Great. Looking over the three chairs in front of the couch I
deduce that there is still one more person coming to join our little coffee
clutch session, I can’t wait to find out who that just might be.<br />
<br />
“Ou fukin bata! Ou pi bon mete m 'desann kounye a oswa konsa ede m', Bondye mwen pral
rele ke ou yo ap eseye vyole m'!”<span style="color: #3366ff;"> </span>I heard
the Creole flying from Bells’ mouth and flew out of my seat on the couch as
soon as my brain translated the words, “<i>You fucking bastard! You better put
me down now or so help me God I will scream that you are trying to rape me</i>!”
Quil’s hand was on my shoulder pushing me back down in to my seat just before I
saw Bells being parked harshly on her ass next me and the other girl on the
couch. Instinctively I reached over and put a hand on her knee in a soothing
manner to calm her. “What the fuck, Mike?”<br />
<br />
“That seems to be the question of the moment,” I snorted and shook my head
offering her a cigarette from my pack. Quil had mentioned some kind of meeting
this morning, but this is nothing like what I had in mind when he said it.<br />
<br />
This scenario playing out before us and around us visibly pissed all of us
girls off, but it was Bells that broke the silence with the plaguing question
on all our minds, “Alright guys, let hear this. What the fuck is going on?”<br />
<br />
In unison, all three guys looked at each other as if they were passing some
message amongst themselves before they all, once again, uniformly looked back
at us. It was the parole officer that I haven’t met yet, except for when he was
helping to separate me and Quil last night that stepped forward slightly,
whipping one of the three chairs in line in front of us backwards and sitting
on it as leisurely as you would at a sporting event, “Talo …”<br />
<br />
“Ha! I told you she was the Talo!” Bells shrieked triumphantly looking at
Mike, and I could see the way his lips look to twitch fighting to keep from
smiling. I just simply snorted a laugh at her enthusiasm and leaned back in to
the couch cushion, chewing my thumbnail painfully clear down to the skin.<br />
<br />
The officer speaking only stopped long enough to glare at Bells, and then he
turned back to the third chick and continued, “Talo, I know you think this
place won’t help and you want to be home, but just look at how that meeting
with the shrink went. Could you do that all day everyday? Without me or Sue or
anything else as a buffer between you and your brother?” This has to be some sort
of a joke, now I know it. They didn’t all really gather the three of us girls
here together because one pathetic bitch needs friends to help her keep her
behavior in check, did they?<br />
<br />
My eyes danced their way down in the girl’s direction just soon enough that
I caught the shake of her head. Something about her made my heart want to break
for her, but I can’t place it, so naturally I continue watching her, studying
her even as her parole officer continues to drone on, “Good, now I know these
men here, I work with them so from now on; all three of us are not your
individual parole officers. Not according to us. All three of us are ALL of
your parole officers.”<br />
<br />
As soon as the words where out of his mouth, all three of us girls jolted
forward, looking doe-eyed at the men. “What?!” The shock in all of our voices
was deafening, but I’m almost certain that mine was a result of something
completely different than the other two girls.<br />
<br />
“That is right kids, since the three of you seem to be unable to deal with
NOT getting into trouble with each other; you have now sealed the deal on three
wardens.” Quil was the one explaining now, looking cool as a cucumber with his
hands pushed in to his jeans’ pockets and a triumphant smirk on his lips. My
eyes narrow on him skeptically the longer they stay locked on him. What is the
point to all of this? Honestly, we live in a house full of counselors and PO’s, how is this any different or any kind of special
arrangement?<br />
<br />
Bells snapped before anyone else could, “Are you fucking kidding me? Mike,
this is bullshit and you know it. I don’t need three baby sitters.” She then
turned on Quil and narrowed her eyes. “This was your fucking idea, because you
get your rocks off by torturing us girls.” Groaning I scrub a hand down my face
in fear for how he will respond to that one, fearful for Bells, that is.<br />
<br />
The third parole officer and Bells’ both coughed which stole my attention
from everything else. My eyes glare daggers at the pair of them, wanting to
know exactly what part of this they are finding funny, and if that funny part
includes my fragile state from last night. If that is the case, heads will
roll. Quil was remarkably calm in his response, considering how he has been
handling shit lately. “You have almost killed people on four separate
occasions. You have a blatant disregard for rules, seeing how you snuck into my
charge’s room last night and on top of everything else, I have a serious
inquiry on just how close you are with your parole officer.”<br />
<br />
I just sat there and blinked like a fool whose mouth hangs open on a regular
basis. Shock may be an appropriate way to describe it, but it mixes easily with
the sense of relief settling itself in my belly. My shock is renewed again when
Mike bellows, “Swan, chill the fuck out. I can’t be here all the time and when
I am not, they are right, you need to be looked after.”<br />
<br />
The whole business of being looked after by others is sounding better and
better with every time the words caressed the shell of my ear. “Well, I may be
the only one that is perfectly fine with this arrangement.” The look Mike gave
me with his raised brow made me grin. Shooting a wink in his direction I
shrugged and went on, “However, I still wouldn’t wish <i>Sergeant</i> here on
anyone, not even my worst enemy.” Of all people, I wouldn’t wish Quil’s harsh
ways on Bells, or the pathetic Talo girl, whose name I still haven’t learned.<br />
<br />
Perhaps I could have chosen to word it differently, but the look and
teeth-flashing grin I get tells me that Quil isn’t entirely pissed off and
ready to haul my ass over his shoulder like I was afraid he might. “You, Clearwater, are here
because it is obvious that I and you have shit to get through, so your
head-quack thinks it would be a good idea if I wasn’t all present in your
recovery process. If I comply, I need someone to be watching you while I am not
here.”<br />
<br />
“That is the biggest cop-out I have ever heard.” I snapped back. “You would
never do what some fucking shrink told you to do.” My blood is literally
boiling with just how outrageous this all sounds. Despite practicing some deep,
cleansing breathing like Jasper taught me, I am ready to launch myself at the
meathead for thinking he is being funny bringing that shit up here when it is a
blatant lie.<br />
All he could manage was a sigh and to pinch the bridge of his nose, his tone
slow and pointed as if I were a child he was talking to, “I got orders because
of a call that your fucking queer shrink put in to my department.”<br />
<br />
Jasper ratted Quil out? That was it; I burst out laughing falling back in to
the cushion of the couch holding my stomach, only frustrating him further to
growl at me with an advancing step. “Look,” the third parole officer
intervened, “we have worked with Sue to make it so that all chores, fieldtrips
and practically everything else that is to be done while you three are in this
house will be done together.”<br />
“The only time you are excused is when an individual parole officer or your
assigned shrink pulls one of you away.”<br />
<br />
“Sa se bullshit nèt sou tout pwen.” <i>This is complete bullshit</i>.<br />
<br />
Both Bells and I responded in the exact same way, in the exact same instant;
snapping our heads to look where the words have come from. The ‘Talo’ chick
jumped in return, probably because we scared the shit out of her. I lifted a
brow, growing even more curious about the woman that I was now sentenced to be
spending all of me and Bells’ time together with.<br />
<br />
Bells laughed hard and I couldn’t help but ask. “Èske ou trè enfliyan?” <i>Are
you fluent</i>? I looked between the two awaiting the response. Honestly I’m
still in a bit of shock that this could very well be our easy way out of the
arrangement.<br />
<br />
As soon as I saw the nodding answer from ‘Talo’ my mind was made up.
Grinning wide, B leaned closer to both us girls, giving a sideways glance to
the line of men, “Byen, paske m' ap ki pou di osi lontan ke sa a kontra avèk
twa gardiens dure, nou pale pa gen anyen nan Angle.” <i>Good, because I say
that for as long as this deal with three babysitters lasts, we speak nothing of
English</i>.<br />
<br />
If the men want to play a game and force us all to create some type of bond
and friendship, well, two sides can play that game. And we girls can be far
better at it!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-28444219732600097032014-03-17T15:11:00.001-07:002014-03-17T15:11:17.161-07:00POSTED: The Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Swan 5<br />
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“You have to take responsibility for your own part in
this!” Jared was yelling, literally yelling like I couldn’t fucking hear him.</div>
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“I was helping Sue with gathering the rest of the group
up to their rooms, how am I supposed to watch her and do that?” Mike yelled
back. They had been doing this for a while. They sent me to my room like a
child while they argued in Jared’s room like divorcing parents. </div>
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“You realize you don’t need to watch me like a two year
old?” I said to no one in particular, not as if they could hear me anyways. </div>
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“I am sure a woman who has been running this house for
over 20 years is able to run off a few residents to their rooms!” Jared yelled
back.</div>
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“Well where the fuck were you? Huh, where were you when
shit went down and I was helping out the house? In here, with your books?” Mike
challenged. I don’t know what kind of response was made but Mike scoffed.
“Yeah, that is what I thought. Try being involved with something other then
fucking books and files and I guarantee you that you will reach her a lot
faster!”</div>
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I heard boots approaching my room and I stood up fast
and watched Mike enter my room again. He walked to me and grabbed my wrist
pulling me with him as he headed for the door. I didn’t say anything as he
dragged me through the house and down stairs. They must have been arguing for a
while because the house was practically empty and quiet. We hit the porch and
started for the stairs and I hissed at him “Mike, where are we going?”</div>
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He stopped and let me go scrubbing his face. “I don’t
know, just away from that room before I punched your shrink in the face.”</div>
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I giggled and sat on the steps pulling out a smoke,
lighting it and handing it to Mike. I know he didn’t often smoke, but he looked
like tonight he probably needed it. He took it without arguing and took a long
drag. I lit myself one and looked up at him. “What’s up Mike, what is going
on?”</div>
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He sighed and shook his head. “Your shrink seems to
think that I should be 100% baby sitting you or else not be at the house as
often as I am.”</div>
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I frowned. “I just told him today that you are the only
friend I have, how is keeping you away constructive?”</div>
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Mike shrugged and flicked his smoke offering a hand up,
which I took. “I am going to go home before I change my mind on the shrink punching.”</div>
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I grinned up at him. “Alright Mike, I will see you
tomorrow.”</div>
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He rubbed the back of his neck and shook his head. “I
actually have something to do tomorrow.” I frowned and nodded. “Alright, next
day then.”</div>
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He nodded and looked undecided for a moment before
leaning forward and kissing my forehead. I had to smile a little as he walked
away so fast it looked like he had a sudden case of diarrhea that he had to get
home to take care of. </div>
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I watched him drive away before I headed back into the
house. I wonder if he wasn’t coming tomorrow because of Jared. What could Jared
have said to Mike to make him stay away?</div>
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I was so busy thinking this over I didn’t notice the
darkness of the house until I reached the top of the stairs. The eerie pitch
that was dotted with little slivers of light coming out from underneath each
room’s door. I slowly made my way along the hallway feeling the childish
paranoia of what lurks in the shadows was quickly coming over me. </div>
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There was the sound of someone opening a door and the
flood of light filled the hallway. I am not sure why I was compelled to hide,
but I did, ducking into the upstairs common room behind one of the old looking
recliner chairs. Heavy foot steps headed down the hall and I peeked as best as
I could around the huge chair.</div>
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“No, she said bells.” Leah’s parole officer, Capt.
Pretty said as he walked past the room. “I didn’t know if she was losing it
again or it meant something until the woman that was standing out side the
rooms watching it all happen, started shit with another resident. I found out
from her therapist that her name is Isabella…” </div>
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I watched him go by and narrowed my eyes, slipping back
down the hall and into Lee’s room. I closed the door as quietly as possible and
looked around the room. There on the bed was Lee, her eyes were half open and
she was groaning. I quickly made my way to her side and sat on the edge of the
bed, looking down at her. “Lee, what the fuck are you doing here?”</div>
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She looked up at me like, but she didn’t really see me.
Her hand went up then dropped to her side again with a heavy flop. “Why are you
haunting me? You’re dead, what are you trying to do? Drive me back into the
fucking nuthouse?” </div>
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I rolled my eyes at her and grabbed her hand putting it
to my face. “You moron, I am right here. I am not dead, how could you be
touching me if I am dead?”</div>
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“I have some pretty vivid fucking dreams, Bells.” She
snapped, jerking her hand away.</div>
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I sighed. “Okay, what did you tell me at the hospital
when I was having night terrors?” I lifted her hand again and put it in front
of her face. “In dreams, you never have the correct amount of fingers. So look
at your hand, do you see that? Five fingers.”</div>
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She stared at her hand frowning and then jerked so fast
it made me jump to my feet. “This isn’t a dream. You’re real, here right now.”</div>
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I grinned sitting again. “I am here, right now.”</div>
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“Holy shit.” She frowned touching my arm. “But… the
nurses said…at the hospital, you killed yourself.”</div>
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I smiled, but shook my head sadly. “No, that was
Rebecca. Becka got out and her family shunned her and she didn’t get in with
the work program. She started using again the second she got out from what I
found out. She just…” I took a breath. “Lost the game.”</div>
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Lee scrubbed her face and shook her head, muttering under
her breath. “Stupid bitch.”</div>
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I nodded in agreement, but then grinned back at her. “So
they let you out finally?”</div>
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She tried to sit up, but quickly changed her mind lying
back down with her eyes closed, breathing deeply. I felt for her, coming off of
Adivan sucks. “Yeah if you can call this place out.”</div>
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I nodded, even though she had her eyes closed and
couldn’t see me. “Looks like you got pick of the litter for a parole officer.”</div>
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She snorted peeking an eye open at me. “You have no
fucking clue.”</div>
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“No, you obviously don’t have any fucking clue if you
are in here right now.” Growled a voice behind us which was followed by the
slam of the door. Capt. Pretty was standing there looking very angry, although
I am entirely convinced that it was his normal look. “What do you think you are
doing in here?”</div>
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I stood, my shock having worn off, and faced him fully.
“Listen Captain Pretty, you don’t scare me like you seem to think you do, so
knock the tough guy shit out. I have been around people and places that would
make your pretty little face crumble with tears.”</div>
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He smirked coldly at me, but I didn’t even flinch. “That
is so adorable that you think that your little stint in the Looney bin and
jaunt through prison means that you are some tough bitch that has seen the world.”</div>
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I felt my anger rising and I balled my fists. “You have
no idea what I have seen or not seen you fucking glorified babysitter! If you
want to see how fucking tough I am, come and try me you—”</div>
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“Pa fè l.” Lee said softly from the bed. I stopped and looked
at her. It had been almost a year since I had heard Creole and it took me by
surprise. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Don’t do it</i>, she said. I
opened my mouth to respond and she just shook her head again. “Jis pa, se pa
yon valè li e li pa konprann nou.” <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Just
don't, it's not worth it and he doesn't understand us</i>.</div>
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I sighed and nodded, looking back at him and smirking at
the confused look on his face. “Okay hotshot, you win, but how about a scene
like today doesn’t fucking happen again, do you hear me?”</div>
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<br /></div>
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Angry man was back. “You are seriously threatening me
right now?”</div>
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<br /></div>
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“Abso-fucking-lutely and I won’t do it again because, if
I hear her screaming for you to get off her again…” I said without batting an
eye letting a dangerous smirk cross my lips. “I will hunt you down and slice
your cock off your package and use it as a pencil to write Ginger Beer across
your forehead.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
There was a small growl from Capt. Pretty and a giggle
from Lee on the bed. “She will too.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
He advanced on me, grabbing my left wrist, though I am
not sure which form of painful removal he was going to go for, but he stopped
when he saw my wrists, the little tattoo blatantly visible. He stared at it for
a little bit before looking between Lee and I and letting my wrist go. He was
looking at Lee but talking to me. “You need to leave. She has had a long day
and I have a feeling tomorrow isn’t going to be any shorter.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
I looked at Lee who nodded so I headed for the door
without a word and slipped into the hallway again. Jared was either in his room
sleeping already or wasn’t in the room, so I flopped onto the bed and closed my
eyes and promptly passed out.</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
The next morning I was surprised to wake on my own, no
annoying shrink to bring me breakfast and get me ‘up and at’um’. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead Mike was sitting in the small wicker chair
in the corner of my room, looking glum. I stretched and smirked looking at him.
“I thought you had stuff to do today.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
He nodded and shrugged. “Something else came up. Come on
you need to get dressed. Are you eating breakfast?”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
I made a face and shook my head making a tiny smirk
cross his lips. “Of course not. You know if you keep refusing meals that ol’
shrink wrap is going to order you meds that make you eat right? Or admit you
into the hospital for trying to starve yourself.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
I snorted getting up and walking to the bathroom,
leaving the door open. “Mrs. Smiley—”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
“Sue.” Mike corrected.</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
“Right, well she has one of the nut jobs cooking this
week. Have you tasted what this woman cooks? Yesterday my eggs had shells in
them and I am pretty sure she used no filter when she brewed the coffee.” I
finished peeing and flushed, grabbing my toothbrush and walking into the
bedroom to grab my clothes as I brushed.</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
“Fine, tomorrow I will bring you breakfast, but you have
to eat.” Mike said, scrubbing his face. He looked tired. </div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
I walked back into the bathroom and shucked my clothes,
changing into my usual jeans and hoody. I slapped some deodorant on and grunted
at my hair before grabbing a hair tie and pulling it back, giving it the
illusion of being brushed. I came out and grinned at him, holding my arms out
and giving a quick one spin. “Okay, dressed and ready to face the day.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
He stood and led the way out the door and I followed
obediently, frowning as I went. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What was
going on? Why did he look so grim</i>? I quickly thought back at anything I
managed to do that might warrant me getting sent back to prison. I stopped
suddenly as it dawned on me.</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Capt. Pretty turned me in for my late night visit to Lee
last night. Mike must have heard my footsteps stop because he turned, looking
back at me. “Swan, lets go. Don’t make this harder for me then it is.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
“Harder for you…?” I went into panic. “Mike, come on,
Mike. You can’t be sending me back.” I said quickly walking over to him
grabbing his hands and looking up into his eyes. “Mike, please don’t do this. I
didn’t even do anything, I just wanted to talk to her and Capt. Pretty came in
and…I swear Mike I didn’t do anything.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Mike closed his eyes and swore under his breath. “Swan,
you threatened my superior. I have no control over this and if you make me
carry you, it’s going to be worse for you.” I tried to pull away from his hands
and back up but he saw it coming and held me tight. “Don’t swan because if you
try to fight me, I will win and I won’t be gentle.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Too bad it was not the time to make a joke about that,
because it was the perfect set up. “Normally I wouldn’t mind that, but you
don’t expect me to go to prison quietly do you?”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
He frowned for a second and then his features smoothed
quickly jerking my arm and kneeling so that I was gracefully deposited over his
shoulder. “Oh my god you are such an asshole Mike! I will never forgive you for
this! You are no better then fucking Shrinky!” I shrieked, punching at his
back, making sure to get some kidney shots in. Mike paid no more attention to
me then if I was a tiny house fly, annoying but harmless.</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
He walked down stairs and then instead of heading for
the door, he headed around the corner and then down the basement stairs. I
didn’t even notice. I was blindly cussing him out in Creole. Having used it
last night brought it all out me of me again. “Ou fukin bata! Ou pi bon mete m
'desann kounye a oswa konsa ede
m', Bondye mwen pral rele ke ou yo ap eseye vyole m'!” (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You fucking bastard! You better put me down now or so help me God I
will scream that you are trying to rape me</i>!)</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
I was suddenly falling off his shoulder and roughly
dropped onto my ass on an old couch in an almost empty room. It was hardly
bigger then a bedroom and had three fold out chairs placed in front of the
couch. I was still breathing hard as I looked around and realized that not only
did we not go to the transport van like I assumed we would, but Lee, the shy
chick and both of their parole officers were in the room with me. I looked at
Mike with a cross of anger and confusion. “What the fuck, Mike?”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Lee snorted handing me a cigarette. “That seems to be
the question of the moment.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
I looked at the guys and lay back, lighting my cigarette
with the offered lighter. “Alright guys, let hear this. What the fuck is going
on?”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
The three guys looked at each other before looking back
at us. Psycho Parole officer, shy-girls guy, stepped forward slightly, sitting
on one of the chairs that were lined in front of us. “Talo—”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
“Ha! I told you she was the Talo!” I said triumphantly
looking at Mike whose mouth corners twitched. The Psycho turned and glared at
me and I glared back. </div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
He turned back to the shy girl and went on. “Talo, I
know you think this place won’t help and you want to be home, but just look at
how that meeting with the shrink went. Could you do that all day everyday?
Without me or sue or anything else as a buffer between you and your brother?”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
She looked at him and shook her head almost grudgingly. He
nodded and smiled slightly. “Good, now I know these men here, I work with them
so from now on; all three of us are not your individual parole officers. Not
according to us. All three of us are ALL of your parole officers.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
All three of us sat up straight. “What?!”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Captain Pretty looked at us with a triumphant smirk.
“That is right kids, since the three of you seem to be unable to deal with NOT
getting into trouble with each other, you have now sealed the deal on three
wardens.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
I looked at Mike, who expertly avoided my gaze. “Are you
fucking kidding me? Mike, this is bullshit and you know it. I don’t need three
baby sitters.” I looked at Captain Pretty and narrowed my eyes. “This was your
fucking idea, because you get your rocks off by torturing us girls.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Shy girl’s parole officer and Mike both coughed, but the
good captain just looked at me. “You have almost killed people on four separate
occasions. You have a blatant disregard for rules, seeing how you snuck into my
charges room last night and on top of everything else, I have a serious inquiry
on just how close you are with your parole officer.” </div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
I stood up only to be shoved back down again by Mike,
who had grown balls enough to finally look at me. “Swan, chill the fuck out. I
can’t be here all the time and when I am not, they are right, you need to be
looked after.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Lee spoke up looking at Mike and shy girl’s parole
officer. “Well I may be the only one that is perfectly fine with this
arrangement.” She said winking at Mike. “However, I still wouldn’t wish <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sergeant</i> here on anyone, not even my
worst enemy.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
He looked at her and gave her a brilliant smile, which
just made him even more pretty. Seriously, I wanted to put lipstick on the guy
and put him on a corner to make me some money. “You, Clearwater, are here because it is obvious
that I and you have shit to get through, so your headquack thinks it would be a
good idea if I wasn’t all present in your recovery process. If I comply, I need
someone to be watching you while I am not here.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
“That is the biggest cop-out I have ever heard.” She
snapped back. “You would never do what some fucking shrink told you to do.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I got
orders because of a call that your fucking queer shrink put in to my
department.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Lee burst out laughing, which of course made him growl
in frustration. Shy girl’s parole officer stepped in before things got out of
hand. “Look we have worked with sue to make it so that all chores, fieldtrips
and practically everything else that is to be done while you three are in this
house will be done together.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Mike nodded and looked at each of us in turn. “The only
time you are excused is when an individual parole officer or your assigned
shrink pulls one of you away.”</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
“Sa se bullshit nèt sou tout pwen.” <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">This is complete bullshit</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Lee and I both snapped our heads to the side to look
where that came from. Our joint sudden movement made Shy Girl jump a little and
look at us like we were insane. Lee looked at the boys, who all looked
confused, although Captain Pretty looked annoyed, having heard us speak Creole
the other night.</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
I laughed. “Èske ou trè enfliyan?” <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Are you fluent</i>?</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
Shy Girl nodded and smirked at us. Well, they wanted us
to bond. Lee looked at the both of us in turn and grinned wide. “Byen, paske m'
ap ki pou di osi lontan ke sa a kontra avèk twa gardiens dure, nou pale pa gen
anyen nan Angle.” <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Good, because I say
that for as long as this deal with three babysitters lasts, we speak nothing of
English</i>. </div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
I laughed hard and nodded. Shy Girl looked at her parole
officer and back at us and a small smirk formed on her lips as she nodded too.</div>
<div class="MsoBlockText" style="margin-bottom: 6.0pt; margin-left: 0in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in;">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-30144213405005436092014-03-17T15:09:00.001-07:002014-03-17T15:09:25.779-07:00POSTED: The Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-64wduWZ_82U/Uv5hPeQdW7I/AAAAAAAAFjQ/w0m2yDH_WB4/s1600/paul.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-64wduWZ_82U/Uv5hPeQdW7I/AAAAAAAAFjQ/w0m2yDH_WB4/s1600/paul.jpg" height="181" width="400" /></a></div>
Rachel 5<br />
<br />
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"What are you doing here?” Lahote set me down on my
feet inside Dr. McCarty’s office for my one on one. Jake stood with the Dr
smiling at me. The anger in my tone sucked the positive vibes right out of the
room.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"I asked him to come. I think a family session is in need." The doc
spoke for Jake and nodded for Lahote to leave, but I grabbed his arm shaking my
head. "I don't want this. I requested no family sessions until I was
ready. It was agreed by my other therapist." Lahote looked at me then to
the guys and sighed.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"This is out of my jurisdiction Talo." The regret was evident as he
backed toward the door opening it. When I looked back to Jake and the Doc they
were whispering to one another. I covered my face feeling caged in. "Jake
don't force this on me. I thought we had an understanding."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
“ We did. But this isn't exactly what you think. We will be doing the
talking." Jake walked over to me trying to be comforting, but there was an
uneven awkward edge to his tone that freaked me out. Whatever it is I was not
ready for it. I didn't need any bad news when I was just starting to get the
hang of all this.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Talking about what exactly?" I asked inching towards the door. I
didn't notice Lahote still standing there until I bumped into him. His hands
rested on my shoulders then slowly turned me around to face them. "I won't
stay unless he does." I surprised even my self when the demand for my PO to be present flew from my mouth. Both Jake and the
Doc nodded agreeing and Lahote stood at the back of the room not saying a word.
Something about him being there was comforting.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Rachel, as you know we have had quite a few sessions now, in which during
I have closely evaluated you.” I slowly sat down trying to understand
exactly what Dr McCarty was trying to get at. Jake was looking at me with
his hands pressed together, pushed against his face, his nose buried between
the small creases of his hands. “I have come to the conclusion in my
professional opinion that you are Bi-Polar. Actually, the correct term would be
server Bi-Polar disorder."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">WHAT?</i>” I shoot up out my seat
shaking my head waving my arms in front of me. "You are on crack! There is
nothing wrong with me like that. My god, all I did was take pills and now I am
a nut case?!” I didn't even care that Jake seemed disgusted by my reaction, I
was not going to be labeled crazy for the rest of my life for getting high a
few times.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"I believe that your drug abuse has triggered it. For the most part, Jake
has recalled you as being short tempered growing up and your outburst during
out last session were clear signs." I could swear he almost seemed amused
while he explained his bullshit diagnoses.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I looked to my brother with betrayal for his part in this. "Jake? You
agree with him?" I couldn't believe he would do this to me. How could my
own brother believe this crap? </div>
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"Rachel, you have a lot of mood swings. You’re either
extremely happy, beyond pissed, or so sad that you would attempt take your own
life. When dad died something inside you snapped. You’ve changed sis." I
could see the concern in his face and at the time, I didn’t care for his
concern.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"This isn't your fault, Talo" Said a voice behind me. I had forgotten
Lahote was in the room and I looked back at him frowning realizing that everyone
in this room thought I was a nut case. I could do this one of two ways. Option
one being flip out, cussing them all out proving to them the very point that I
am trying to negate, that I am crazy. Or two, I could make them all look like a
bunch of dick-less assholes, who have no fucking clue what they are
talking about. I smiled sweetly at all three of them and stood up calmly.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"I can see why you all would come to this conclusion. I have not been
exactly sane the past few months. I will comply with everything and anything
you need from me." I could have sworn Lahote coughed a laugh. My brow
arched glancing back at him daring him to say something against me. All he did
was wink at me fold his arms, amused with my<br />
calm behavior.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"That is great Rachel, wow. I was honestly worried this was going to send
you into—” </div>
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<br /></div>
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I cut Jake off fighting against myself not to ball my hands
into fist and punch the stupid relieved grin off his face. "A bitch fit?
Jakey, I get why you are quick to join in with the Quack… I mean doc, but I
think maybe you're having a hard time dealing with your own issues at the
moment. “I smiled at his confused face and went on. “Like the fact you slept
with that psychotic bitch who popped your um… what did she call it?" I
used my fingers as quotes keeping my tone calm and steady. "Man Cherry?
Not that I really what to know, but what kind of kinky stuff are you into?
"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I just kept that smile plastered on my face, giggling to myself while his eyes
narrowed as he took a step closer to me. He could say I have a short fuss all
he wants but Jacob Black’s fuse would always light up in flames quicker then
mine. "Watch yourself Rachel. You don't know that girl or our
history." The quiet hiss behind his words assured me I had him. I just had
to pinch the nerve a little harder to make him snap like a twig. Game over.
Check mate. Win.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Isn't she my age? Wow, what is she, a child molester? Gross. Maybe you
should be the one talking to the good Doctor here or better yet, get checked
out for STDs. I mean from the way she talked about it, I would bet you
were not her first.” </div>
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Jacob shook his head and clenched his jaw. “She is the same
age as me and why are we even talking about this?”</div>
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I felt Lahote move closer behind me leaning down whispering
in my ear. "Knock it off before you make it worse." I looked up at
him with an innocent smile, but I could feel the devilish glare flickering in
my eyes.</div>
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"Rachel, I know what you are doing and that does not
work in a case like yours." The Dr. McCarty tried to speak as if he had
some sort of authority over me. I turned to face him shrugging my shoulders. "I
am only proving a point."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
“ And what point is that, Rachel?" The doctor questioned curiously as me
scribbled down in his note pad. </div>
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I put back on my sweet voice and looked directly at the
doctor. "Well for one, my brother couldn't find himself a nice girl to
loose it to, so he went for the town slut."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
It was written all over Jake’s face, which made me grin with triumph. Snap.
Win. “ Damn it Rachel! What the fuck is wrong with you? We are trying to help you
and get you back to the way you used to be and you go pulling stupid fucking
shit like this! How dare you bring someone into your shit storm just because
you can't come to reality that you are not perfect?"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Snap. Lose. "Hold the fuck up, I am the first person to say I am not
perfect. Why are you so pushy about me being how I was? Did you ever stop and think,
hey maybe that wasn't her and she is just now being herself?” I snapped back
loosing at my own game. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"How were you not ever yourself? You had ever opportunity in the world
handed to you. You always had everything you could ever want. Why are you
acting like you had something taken from you?” He just didn't get it. He never
would, even if I spelled it out for him and spoke really slow. I just turned to
walk away, but Lahote's hard chest knocked me back a few steps and his
dangerous glare made me shiver. He took my wrist, moving me behind him.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Think about one thing Jacob.” Lahote said, his glare moving between Jake
and the Doctor. “She was the chief’s daughter. Her every move was watched,
judged, and talked about. If she wasn't perfect, you bet your ass the whole
town was gossiping about it. Try being yourself under that amount of pressure."
Lahote opened the door, ignoring when Dr. McCarty called out about not being
done yet, and led me down the hall, but not directly to my room like I assumed
was going to happen.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"I am normal. I am not Bi-Polar." I muttered more to myself then
anyone else as I followed his lead. Lahote looked down at me, stopping in front
of a door. I leaned against it and he stretched his arms up and leaning forward
and catching himself on the door looking down at me with a kind smile.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Listen, you are a little bi-polar, but truthfully I think everyone is bi-polar
to some degree." My lips parted to protest, but he quickly put a finger over
them, which I could have licked, but luckily I did have <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">some</i> sort of self-control. "You need to get along with some of
the other girls here. I am not saying be BFF’s, but I want to see you have girls
to confided in and hangout with. I know you say you don't like some, but I know
if you would give it a chance you would have fun with them. That is why I set
this up. You trust me right?"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I let out a loud sigh dropping my head back on the wall looking up into his
dark eyes seeing the sincerity in them. My hands moved to his shoulders we both
stayed silent for a long moment. I had become lost in the enchanting world of
mystery that is Paul Lahote’s eyes. I kept telling myself to speak, but I just
couldn't get any words out. Lahote shut his eyes dropping his head like he was
ashamed of himself. “I’ll make a deal with you…” I finally got the words out,
but they were not the ones I had planned to speak.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"What kind of deal?" Lahote pushed himself off the wall putting space
between us, I was waiting for his eyes to once again find mine, but he avoiding
looking directly at me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Let me call you Paul and I'll go in and behave myself.” I don't know it bothered
me so much that he didn't allow me to call him by his first name but it did,
more and more every day. Lahote eyes snapped up at me he looked puzzled
scratching his scruffy beard. “Why does it matter what you call me?"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
“ Because it shows that you trust me." I whispered, being honest. Being so
formal with him and still being expected to share such intimate details about
me and parts of my life made me feel like he didn't really trust me. I
know I was just a charge to him, but I always hear all the other girls calling
their POS by first name and I didn't understand why I couldn't with him.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Alright, I do trust you and I guess we are past the whole professional
crap huh?" I could feel him grin but I didn't look up because I knew my
smile would give me away. Instead I just turned around opening the door to the
room where my hand picked friends would be walking in the small room playing
out different scenarios in my head.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Um…?" I turned to face him confused. "So where are these girls you
desperately want me to get along with Paul?" He chuckled pointing to the
couch for me to sit down. He pulled up a metal fold up chair and dragged it
closer, sitting next to me shaking his head amused. "They will be here.
They are not as easy as you are and they tend to fight their POs on just about
everything. Just wait patiently, Talo."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Once everyone had finally entered the room I sat sitting as far away from the
other two as I could manage on the couch crossing my arms in a pout. I was
seriously reconsidering this deal. Now that I think about it, I can go back to
calling him Lahote. I don’t need friends. Especially not friends like these particularly
crazy ones. The new one that was fist fighting naked with her P.O. yesterday
and low and behold, my favorite slut was in here too, coming into the room
courtesy of her P.O. physically carrying her. </div>
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Paul walked over taking a seat in the chair in front of me. "Talo—”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<br />
"Ha! I told you she was Talo!" My eyes rolled hearing the slut brag
about figuring out who I was. Paul looked over at her with a mean glare before
turning his attention back to me, speaking softly. "Talo, I know you think
this place won't help and you want to be home, but just look at how that
meeting with the Doctor went. Could you do that all day everyday? Without me or
sue or anything else as a buffer between you and your brother?"<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I knew he was right but I wasn't ready to admit it out loud. I took a moment,
but agreed with a slight nod of my head. "Good, now I know these men here,
I work with them so from now on all three of us are not your individual parole
officers. Not according to us. All three of us are ALL of your parole
officers."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"What?!" All three of us sounded shocked and pissed. I was slightly jealous
to share my new friend with the other two. Especially Swan. I have seen her
with her PO she practically begs him to fuck
her. The other girl, Leah or Lee, just looked mean, like she had bitch written
all over her face, meaning she will challenge Paul and take his attention away.<br />
Lahote was my parole officer but I felt like he was also my friend. The only
one I had left in this planet.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"That is right kids, since the three of you seem to be unable to deal with
NOT getting into trouble with each other you have now sealed the deal on three
wardens." This had to be some sort of joke. He was not seriously going to
let these two assholes have a say on my outcome?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Swan sat up glaring at her PO who would barely
look at her. It was easy to say who was really in control there. "Are you
fucking kidding me? Mike, this is bullshit and you know it. I don't need three
baby sitters.” Swan turned her glare, a more hatful and scary one, to Lee's PO. I couldn't help, but to grin watching her call him
out on his shit. "This was your fucking idea, because you get your rocks
off by torturing us girls."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I watched her scream at the man, he didn't even blink. I thought Paul was a big
Jerk but this guy would be a nightmare to have to deal with. Why would Lahote
willingly do this to me? </div>
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His eyes narrowed and his tone dropped to a hard powerful
almost growl. "You have almost killed people on four separate occasions.”
Good information to have. “You have a blatant disregard for rules, seeing how
you snuck into my charges room last night and on top of everything else, I have
a serious inquiry on just how close you are with your parole officer."
Swan was on her feet in a hot second.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
When Mike pushed her back down I found myself shifting in my seat, getting
angry for her. These three dicks must get off on the power to control us. Not
letting us have a say in anything we do. What was the point of coming here if it's
worst then prison would be? "Swan, chill the fuck out. I can't be here all
the time and when I am not, they are<br />
right, you need to be looked after."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Lee seemed bored with the argument and to be honest somewhat relieved. But then
again if I had her PO full time, I wouldn't
mind the change up either. "Well I may be the only one that is
perfectly fine with this arrangement." She said winking at Mike.
"However, I still wouldn't wish <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sergeant</i>
here on anyone, not even my worst enemy."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
“ You, Clearwater,
are here because it is obvious that I and you have shit to get through, so your
headquack thinks it would be a good idea if I wasn't all present in your
recovery process. If I comply, I need someone to be watching you while I am not
here." My brow arched at the way he talked down to her, shaking my head
not agreeing with any of<br />
this. How was any of it so called recovery?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"That is the biggest cop-out I have ever heard." She snapped back. "You
would never do what some fucking shrink told you to do."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
The discussion was taking a nasty turn I kicked my foot out hitting Paul who
looked at me confused. I was ticking my head to the side trying to silently ask
him to step in to help and not sit there grinning like an idiot watching a good
soap opera. “I got orders because of a call that your fucking queer shrink
put in to my department." Quil said, finally coming out with the truth.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Look, we have worked with Sue to make it so that all chores, fieldtrips,
and practically everything else that is to be done while you three are in this
house, will be done together."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Mike nodded, giving us all a authorities three second glance.
"The only time you are excused is when an individual parole officer or
your assigned shrink pulls one of you away."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Sa se bullshit nèt sou tout pwen." <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">This is complete bullshit</i>. I mutter sure that no one would
understand huffing sitting back in my seat crossing my arms when suddenly both
girls where staring at me with huge shit eating grins.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Èske ou trè enfliyan?" <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Are
you fluent</i>? Swan asked with a laugh looking back at Lee. I nodded grinning
having an idea where this was leading.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Byen, paske m' ap ki pou di osi lontan ke sa a kontra avèk twa gardiens
dure, nou pale pa gen anyen nan Angle." <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Good, because I say that for as long as this deal with three
babysitters lasts, we speak nothing of English</i>. I nodded fast smiling
loving the idea. When I glanced to Paul he was watching intently trying to
figure out what the hell was going on between the three of us.<br />
<br />
"Don't you dare look at me like that you trader." I spat out at Lahote
I felt let down by him, like all the so called progress we made in trust was a
bunch of bullshit. "Talo, knock it off. You said you—” </div>
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I cut him off standing up not even realizing everyone was
now watching us. "What? Trust you <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Paul</i></b>?! I did I trusted you not to
throw me to some psycho wolves!" I pointed to Quil. "That one there
beats his charges, like he did Lee the other night. She was screaming like he
was going to rape her. You think I am safe with someone like that? Or how about
Mr. Smooth over there?" I said nodding to Mike. “You think he’s going to
be able to keep his dick in his pants long enough to help me fucking recover? You’re
not supposed to just pawn me off like some burden you piece of shit! It's your
job, isn't it? Isn't that what you keep fucking telling me, you lying bastard?!"
I don't know at what point I started to yell but it must have been when Paul
actually dragged me out the room. All I know is one minute we are in that damn
room and the next outside on the porch, away from the front doors.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
"Are you calm enough to talk like a normal adult?" Lahote was leaning
against the railing with his head hung down, not looking at me.</div>
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I shook my head still angry at him. "I didn't realize I
was too much for you to handle on your own. You have to go and call in bigger
dicks to fuck me over." I snapped bringing both my hands to my scalp and
pulling at my hair, feeling way to many emotions at once. </div>
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Lahote charged at me pinning me to the wall with his body.
Everything about his movements said anger, but he let out a breath and there it
was again...The worry, the concern.<br />
<br />
He cupped my cheeks, looking into my eyes searchingly and shaking his head.
"No. Talo I did this to help you, please try to see that. I did this
because in some points of our—” He paused stumped for words he just stopped,
pressing his forehead to mine once again making my heart break for him. I
wanted to hug him, but I know the second I did he would pull away. "I did
this because I can handle you, but as much as I don't want to admit this you
have a way of handling me too." He backed away turning away from me planting
his hands on the deck railing leaning back then pushing himself forward. I
watched his right side up pushup as I puzzled over trying to figure out what
that he meant. </div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
"You have had a long day Talo. Get some rest. I will
see you tomorrow." He said and walked away without even looking back at
me. I couldn't speak even if I wanted to. I just walked to my room in a
confused state trying to decipher his last comment.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
How is it that I handle him? Why are his panties in a bunch over it? Is it
because I can relate to him or because he actually sees me as a human and not a
file? I am not a file and either is Lee, or Swan. They might be rude as hell
and bitchy but we are human. No one should treat us any differently. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In fact I think that is a lesson these boys will have to
learn.</div>
The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-6209439866433338502014-03-17T15:07:00.001-07:002014-03-17T15:07:13.049-07:00POSTED: The Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Leah 3<br />
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<br />
There was a short span of time, maybe a minute or two, which my eyes looked
awkwardly around my new room in my attempt to not gawk at Mr. Jasper standing
before me, eyeing me with skepticism. <br />
In my mind there’s no doubt he is studying me trying to pinpoint different
characteristics that he’s been pining over in my file as he tried to get to
know me. The idea is comical at least. People who think they can get to know
another human being by reading a stack of papers about them, clearly have no
real world communication skills or experience. They really need their eyes
opened, if you ask me. <br />
Shifting on my heels as the seconds tick by in silence I finally look square
at the statuesque blonde male who’s made himself at home, perched on the edge
of my bed with his elbows on his knees and hands clasped in support of his
chin. A strange feeling of being comfortable with this new roommate calms me
enough to blow out a breath and open my mouth to voice a question, any kind of
question to break the silence.<br />
“What happened this morning?” Jasper’s voice was the one to break the
silence, making me snap my mouth shut and turn my eyes on him with a furrow to
my brow.<br />
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Doc.” The unease in the pit of my
stomach that always tends to flair when I am uncertain of things around me was
fully present.<br />
With a nod of his head in the general direction of my cuffed hands, Jasper
clarified the intention lying behind his question, “The cuffs, Leah. What
happened this morning that sparked your parole officer, Sergeant Ateara to deem
it necessary that you be restrained for transport?”<br />
I gave a disgruntled huff combined with a shrug that was less than
half-hearted. “Nothing happened. Honestly, my parole officer is just a little …
Well, I don’t know the word, but I s’pose you could say I think he’s
compensating. If you know what I mean.” Flashing a brilliantly sarcastic grin
and a wink I couldn’t help but burst in to laughter when all he could do was
shake his head and stand from his perched position. <br />
Originally I thought it was Jasper’s way of responding to anything slightly
uncomfortable, but when I saw him disappear through the door he had appeared
from earlier before returning with a notepad and pen scribbling as he moved I
frowned. What the hell could he be writing already? This isn’t a damn session,
therefore there is nothing, and I do mean <i>nothing </i>noteworthy being said.
With a few too-fast steps I closed the space to try peering over his shoulder
anxiously. “What’s this about? What the hell could you write about me already?”
There was no way of hiding the clipped tone in which my words came flying out
of my mouth, completely lacking a filter.<br />
“I am your counselor, Leah. You will have to grow accustomed to my constant
writing as it is a vital part of my job in helping you.” The fact that he never
even looked up from the pad as he spoke really was grating on my nerves.<br />
“That wasn’t an answer to my question, Doc.” This time my tone was enough to
cause him to look up from his writings. “What are you writing?”<br />
With a slow, unthreatening gesture of his hand Jasper waved to the white
paper of his portfolio folder in an invitation to read his scrawling. My eyes
took in the words in the same time Jasper spoke them from memory, “Turns to the
use of sarcasm when uncomfortable.”<br />
My feet faltered, betraying the façade of being unaffected by how easily
this man I’ve known for mere minutes can see straight through me, in their
slight stumble backwards. Had my hands been free to move, they would have flown
out wide at my sides to help center my balance before falling flat on my ass,
but the cuffs prevented this possibility from happening. With a sharp intake of
air I was shaking my head and doing my best to recompose myself, “You’re right,
Doc. I am not uncomfortable with anything. I’ve got thick, impenetrable skin.
Ain’t nothing going to get to me.”<br />
Jasper took the entire portfolio, pen and all, and set it on top of the
dresser then tucked his hands in to his pockets to cross the room. He was
clearly taking his time in forming a response, but at least he isn’t writing
more bullshit. Hiking the material of his jeans just a tad, he takes a seat on
the edge of my bed again, this time lacing his fingers together to look like a
steeple of a church in front of his mouth. As he spoke, the effort of carefully
calculating exactly how his words come out is visible in his features. “Okay,
Leah. I am relieved you are not uncomfortable. You see, the more comfortable
you are with me, I find the easier our counseling sessions will be.” Jasper
gave a warm and welcoming smile before he continued, “Tell me, what brought
about the cuffs this morning? Do you feel they were necessary or an abuse of
power over you?”<br />
“It was absolutely an abuse of power of me!” The exclamation flew past my
lips before I could process what they were. Just the fact he had taken the time
to ask my opinion of how I was feeling made me feel like he was in my corner,
and who the hell am I to buck anyone that voluntarily steps in to my corner? “I
swear I didn’t do anything to warrant this, Jazz,” The random nickname that was
thrown out caused one eyebrow to rise in question, but there was no
interruption to my rant. “All I want to do was—”<br />
“Run.” Quil’s voice broke in to room cutting off my words without
permission. Spinning to my right I see him lock eyes on Jasper as if he were
looking down on a lesser individual that dare have the audacity of breathing
the same oxygen as he. “She had just been released from the body cuffs by a
guard of the court, took one look at me as her parole officer, and she bolted
for the door. She’s a proven flight risk, <i>Doc.”</i><br />
A growl rumbled in my chest, not loud enough to draw attention from either
of the men, but enough that I could both feel and hear it, “You’re full of shit
and you know it.”<br />
“Now, Leah, as a court-appointed officer,”<br />
“<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Counselor</i>.” Quil interrupted
Jasper making the correction that he felt imperative be made.<br />
You could almost hear Jasper roll his eyes as he self-corrected per Quil’s
help, “Of course, as I was saying, a court-appointed <i>counselor</i>, it is my
duty to make decisions that are in everyone’s best interest. And if Sergeant
Ateara here thinks you’re better off in restraints, I have a choice to make. Do
I keep you restrained and keep you cuffed? Or do I simply sedate you?”<br />
“No drugs, please.” I said quickly as my eyes moved between both men, first
Jasper then to Quil, continuing to plead my case. “Please Quilly, you know me.
No drugs, no cuffs. I’ll behave, play by your rules, and follow your directions
without question…”<br />
Just as it has always done before, Quil’s jaw muscle ticked when he was
quite literally biting back some sort of pissed off comment. I watch that
muscle tick over and over, feeling my chance at being allowed to be uncuffed
slip further and further out of my reach. “You will call me Sergeant, Sarge, or
Officer, Clearwater.”<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> Tick. Tick. Tick go the jaw muscles</i>.
With a curt shake of his head to punctuate his final “No,” that has me so
concentrated as my anger fumes from my ears, I am unaware of two things: Quil
silently released the cuffs from my wrists; and Jasper rose from the bed and
joined me at my side to have an unspoken conversation with Quil that I will
never be privy to understand.<br />
My own personal boiling point quickly hit as a result of Quil’s asshole ways.
However, in the blink of an eye I went from sucking in a deep breath to go off
and blast my damn parole officer to being whisked away down the stairs to the
basement of the home, with Jasper talking beside me about having a one-on-one
session in the one private room specifically designed for such. I wasn’t
complaining, I mean any time away with him meant that I don’t have to deal with
Quil acting as though he is my new God, who is to be prayed to. <br />
Making my way down the hallway beside Jasper, my eyes fall upon the smoking
woman from the porch earlier. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The ghost,
in my mind</i>. Try as I might I still cannot place her face without an eerie
haunting feeling. As we pass each other, our left wrist must have been swung
wide at the same time and clipped each other. “Hey, you want to watch where
you’re fucking walking?!”<br />
I snapped and Jasper’s hand quickly came down on my shoulder to keep me
moving right as the ghost barked back, “You want to fucking make me?” and
balled her fists at her side. We both side-eyed each other as our forward
momentum had halted. It was a scene similar to what might be seen in a movie
where two felons face off and circle each other to make their presence known.<br />
“Keep moving, Leah,” I felt a sharp finger jab in to my ribs as Jasper urged
me forward to our destination which was plainly in sight.<br />
“I will see you later then, Lee,” the ghost chimed out, breaking my
concentration. The smirk and the wink that accompanied the tone stood my hair
on end.<br />
“Tonight.” It was a promise that was easily kept, given the living
situation, and it brought a smirk of my own to toy at my lips. Another more
forceful poke to my side and Jasper had me marching forward to the room where
Sue stood waving us in side, meanwhile the ghost was being guided a bit more sternly
by the young looking gentleman with her. “Hey, calm the poking, Doc.”<br />
Jasper and I sat in the room, me taking the uncomfortable oversized chair
that was obviously distinguished as being for the patients and him, sitting in
the plush office chair across from me with hands folded over his portfolio once
again, but I was distracted.<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>First and foremost, by the ghost from
the hallway and secondly, by the desire to have a shower. That’s all I could
think of, with great frequency, today. Jasper made several attempts to get me
to start talking, even with as mindless questions as to ask what my favorite
color is, my birth date, and about my family. There were a few things that I
could robotically answer without having to devote any real brainpower to forming
them, so I did. <br />
Eventually though Jasper grew impatient with my lack of cooperation and he
gave in to my incessant begging for a shower and a chance to get cleaned up
before dinner. As we made our way back up to the room in which I will be
staying he tried having one of those doctor and ever-grateful-patient moments. “You
know, Leah, it will be a very long two years for you if you refuse to speak to
me about anything of relevance. Seeing as today is your first day here, I will allow
for you to get yourself acclimated to this living situation, but I won’t always
be so forgiving. You must understand this, up front. I’ve expectations in place
for our synchronized relationship. You cooperate and I bother you less with
these sessions.” Just to emphasize the point Jasper was trying to make, I gave
a very cooperative grunt as my only reply. <br />
<br />
My mind was racing a million miles a minute trying to sort through all of
the events of the day as the hot water of the shower poured over me. It was one
thing that I never grew out of from the time I was a young child until now. My
brain happens to fire to life when my head is submerged in water. Whether it is
a swimming pool, the ocean, a heavy rainfall, a filled bathtub, or a shower
stream, my brain comes to life allowing my best thinking to take place. Perhaps
it would be beneficial to Jasper’s work if I suggest moving our counseling
sessions to the shower that could make things much more fruitful.<br />
One of the most present things on my mind is the face of the ghost woman. I
had first seen her on the porch when Quil pulled the car in to the driveway and
there was something familiar there, it was both in her face and in the way she
smoked her cigarette, but I couldn’t figure it out. Then there was the moment
down in the hallway while on my way to what should have been a counseling
session; the familiarity was there again. Lifting my hands to comb my fingers
through my wet hair and the small tattoo on the inside of my left wrist catches
my eye and my brain is flooded with the exact memory it had been searching for.<br />
<i>It had been weeks in the mental hospital since I’d tried taking my own
life and in those weeks I had formed close ties to two other girls in somewhat
like circumstances - one stronger than the other. After yet another night on
the roof of the building, under the watchful eye of one of the male nurses to
ensure we didn’t pitch ourselves over the edge, the one with whom I was closer,
Bells, and I returned back to her room and made a pact with each other. “Though
there may come times when we are alone, we will never be singular.” She spoke
as she tattooed my wrist with a simple design ‘III’. We had stolen a pen from
the male nurse and Bells took a syringe needle from the ‘vampires’ that come
around to check our blood levels once a week. “We won’t let the world own us.
No matter what, there will always be us. We have each other.” As soon as mine
was finished, I copied the design on the inside of her wrist, permanently
branding us to each other, regardless of where the roads may lead us. ‘III’ was
for the third wing of the hospital where they branded the ‘High Risk’ and
‘Criminally Insane’ lot of us.</i><br />
<i>Fast forward a month down the road to just days after my Bells is
released from the hospital, by some fluke where she knew the judge that was
reevaluating her case. I was however remaining and on a downward spiral in my
lonesome once more. The nurses had pumped a factory’s worth of drugs in to my
system in their attempt to control my erratic behaviors and mood swings. I
stumbled my barely lucid self into the hallway thanks to the distracted nurse
underestimating my tolerance, I left my confinement room, I find a wheelchair
and flopped in to it. Propping my head against the wall, as it is far too heavy
to support on my own I hear the nurses at the nearby station speak in hushed
tones of the former patient, ‘one of ‘The Three’, who had been released just
days earlier that was found dangling from the stairway banister in her home
this morning…</i><br />
Though I had never seen Bells’ hang self, the image of such was one
engrained in my mind as clearly as it would be had I witnessed it as it
happened. Shaking my head to literally try and shake off the image burning
holes in my corneas I pressed the butts of my hands in to my eye sockets I
begin repeating the protesting “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">No</i>”
in a quiet, robotic chant, the pain of it all feeling so fresh and raw could
eat me away if I allowed it.<br />
Lost to my own world trying to escape the memories, I never heard the
bathroom door open and close, or the entrance of someone coming in to the small
room. When I managed to bring myself back in to the present and reach for my
toiletries bag to retrieve a razor I was hoping had been provided for grooming
purpose, I jumped feeling a large hand close around my wrist gently in a warning.
<br />
“Jesus Christ! What are you doing in here?” Grabbing the towel from the bar
where it hung, I haphazardly wrapped it around myself as I remained under the
spray of the water. Sure I have spent the past eighteen months showering with a
cloven of other women in one mass room, but that was different.<br />
“Sorry Leah, I was sent in by the doc to keep watch and monitor.” Quil’s
voice was very businesslike and to the point, no sarcasm or attitude detectable
in it.<br />
“Fine, can you at least … turn away while I finish?” I know it is a long
shot and more likely than not going to be denied, but it is worth a try.<br />
“No can do.” Quil nodded his head in a motion that was very obviously a
command to carry on and finish up then leaned back against the edge of the
counter, allowing me the most amount of privacy he can. “Don’t worry, you don’t
have to deal with me all the time, Leah. I’m only here today because it’s
transfer day. You being my charge means I am responsible for ensuring you are
in a good place. You show me that you can handle your shit, and I’ll be
gone after tonight.”<br />
“I <i>have</i> been handling myself, <i>Sarge.</i>” The tone I laced in to
his demanded address was evident even to a deaf man. With him standing in the
room awaiting my departure from what was the sanctuary of my shower, I take my
take standing in the water that has now turned frigid.<br />
“You have, remarkably. All things considered,” I almost wanted to reach out
and clear the surprise right out of his tone with a right hook to his trachea,
but I kept to myself and silently shivered. “Listen, Jasper had to go file a
few things quickly. Your release was earlier than Sue and the staff were fully
prepared, otherwise it would be he that monitors your showers until it is
determined you can do so independently, and safely.” Babysitters while I shower
now, too? That was the icing on the metaphorical cake. There was a brief pause
before Quil continued in a more stern, matter-of-fact voice, “Finish up. Group
session begins in nineteen minutes.”<br />
“Right, your eagerness to drop me here and ditch my ass from under your
guard was too rushed and upset the flow of The Home’s schedule. Fine,
whatever.” The agitation in my voice was more for my own good of trying to make
myself feel better, than it was to snip at him, but it served both nicely.
“I’m coming out. You mind handing me a new, dry towel?”<br />
“Sure thing,” Quil uttered as I saw him turn his back to gather a towel from
the linen closet on the other side of the sink. Extending the stark white
material with a professional and routine demeanor he held the towel open as a
shield of sorts that I could step right in to.<br />
Dropping the soaked towel at my feet to the shower floor I quickly stepped
out and in to the new towel making quick work of taking it from Quil’s grasp
and wrapping it around me. <br />
“Thanks.” Stepping around the sort of roadblock his large frame creates in
this cramped space, I maneuvered my way out of the bathroom and left him behind
me as my damp feet pad across the light wooden floor of my bedroom. The idea of
being able to wear my own clothes for the first time in too long increased the
pace of my steps. As I come to a stop at the foot of my bed I drag my hand over
the curved edge of my duffel bag someone had prepared for me. Who? I have no
idea, but someone that knows me well enough to pack the exact items I would
have chosen for myself. A soft smile ghosts over my lips as I slowly pull back
the zipper of the bag and reach in to pull out a comfortable, loose-fit tank
top.<br />
“You’re not going to like this.” Was the only warning I am granted before
Quil came up behind me, immediately taking hold of my right ankle.<br />
“What the hell! What are you…?” I tried my best to kick my leg free from his
hold, having no idea what he was trying to do and frankly, not caring what it
was either. I’m standing here naked in nothing but a damp, nearly translucent
towel and the water beads still clinging to my body from my shower, and Quil
seems to think this is the more opportune time to touch me? <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oh God</i>. “Get off of me. GET OFF! Help!
SOMEONE HELP!”<br />
My cries for help were the final straw to Quil’s professional attitude. In
his frustration at the fight I was trying to put up, he had trapped me between
him and the wall using his hips to pin me from going anywhere, one of his legs
firmly braced against the wall between mine preventing me from simply sliding down
the wall to escape that way and his hands gripping my upper arms with enough
force to mark my skin for days. <br />
Balling my fists, no longer caring about keeping the towel between us and
letting it pool on the ground, I use all my strength to beat against his chest,
still trying to kick my way free but getting nowhere. In a lightning fast
movement, Quil’s hands went from holding my arms to pressing one largely
muscled forearm across my chest to pin me down while his other hand roughly
clasped over my mouth to muffle my screams. “Calm the fuck down, Leah. Quit
your damn screaming, woman!”<br />
Another several attempts at muffled screams later I did the last thing my
brain could think to do. Hesitating for a second, I convince myself it is my
best chance at getting away from this psychotic man who no longer resembles my
former best friend. I take a deep breath and bite down hard on the flesh of one
of his fingers. <br />
The yell that rumbled all the way up from deep in his chest was the only
response, besides the feeling that his arm against my chest might be tighter
now. A fraction of a minute later, I blinked, shocked to be completely free
from Quil’s entrapment and see him pulled back by Jasper and another man I have
only seen on the porch with the ghost woman upon my arrival.<br />
Frantically trying to grab up my towel from the floor at my feet and flee I
am caught off guard when two strong arms wrap me up, for the third time today,
and hold me in a restraint that utilizes my own arms to bear hug myself as the
man leans back far enough to take my feet off balance. Why the hell was I the
one being restrained when he was the one that attacked me? Sue stands before me
with her hands up, cooing at me to calm down in a very motherly way. The only
flaw in her armor giving way to her discomfort being her sideways glance and
nod at one of the men I don’t know. “GET HIM OUT OF HERE! I CAN’T … NOT HIM!”
Screaming for Quil’s removal, my legs kick and flail in what can only be
described as an uncoordinated running man type of motion. Suddenly one of the
arms around me is gone and I am able to break free just before there is a sharp
pinch in the back of my shoulder, right where my shoulder and neck meet.<br />
In the amount of time it takes for the pain of the pinch to subside to just
a memory, my entire body feels weighted down with heavy lead and time begins to
stand still, my eyes focusing just past Sue’s slowly relaxing face to find the
horrified look on the ghost woman’s face where she stands unmoving in the
doorway of my room. Blinking slowly and with some effort, my force my eyes to
refocus on the face each time they start to blur out on their own accord.
Taking one clumsy, yet free, step forward I feel my world shift with only one
constant, the ghost face.<br />
“It is Bells…” my words slip out nearly incoherent as the lightly colored
wood grain of the floor quickly closes in on my face and disappear in to the
cold blackness.<br />
<br />
Slowly, the muttering and ramblings in my head start to take shape and form
in the voices I recognize to be Jasper, Sue, and Quil. There’s not a single
part of me, except my ears, that is willing to cooperate with my idea of
moving: My muscles<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">? No, too heavy and
tired to even twitch to life</i>. My eyelids? <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fuck that</i>. Weighted down with concrete blocks; But my ears? Those
tune in as best they can to the bickering happening somewhere in the near
vicinity.<br />
“I thought you said she was stable for transfer, Sergeant Ateara.”<br />
“If I may, Sue, from the conversations I have been able to have with her
this afternoon and evening, she is stable with the exception of when faced with
her parole officer.”<br />
“What exactly are you implying, Doc? That I’m the reason for her behaviors?”<br />
“Gentlemen, arguing is very unbecoming of two professionals, especially if I
have specifically chosen them to be able to work with this house and its
residence. Let us put aside differences in order to help this girl. Now, I have
a group session I need to go dismiss for the evening so that I can available
here. I seriously doubt she is going to want either of you near her when she
comes to. No killing each other in my absence, I do not want that kind of
paperwork on my plate as well.”<br />
“Of course, Sue. As for you Sergeant, I am not implying anything; however, what
you have inferred from the words I have spoken leads me to believe you may be
dealing with a guilty conscience for exactly that reason.”<br />
“Bull Shit, Whitlock. I am doing my job, textbook. Shall we talk about
textbook work? Do you know what you’re doing?”<br />
“I can assure you that I do, Sergeant. Why do you ask?”<br />
“Then why the hell hasn’t she woken up yet? I’ve seen Ativan in effect in
people before. Leah’s been out for too long …”<br />
“She has only been asleep little more than one hour, Sir.”<br />
“Eighty-three minutes.”<br />
The voices continue going back and forth drifting rapidly back in to the
haze of darkness that pulled me under earlier. Without any ability to fight
against the drug’s gravitational pull, I am sucked deep in to the quiet of the
black.<br />
At least it’s quiet here.<br />
The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-30694279974226927652014-03-17T15:05:00.001-07:002014-03-17T15:05:17.745-07:00POSTED: The Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Swan 4</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Mike was over at the house
bringing me smokes, like he did most times he came to visit and I decided to do
a quality check on them outside when the unmarked cruiser pulled up making me
smirk. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Another one bites the dust</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
I stopped mid-drag watching the
newest woman being brought in, cuffs around her wrists. Apparently the new
trend among parole officers is to hand out the silver bracelets to their
charges as if they were diamond rings now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
Wait a minute…I know her. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I know her</i>.</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I stood up as she passed and was about to follow
her in when her parole officer spotted me, putting his hand to my chest to stop
me. I looked at his hand and up his arm until I reached the particularly
disgruntled look on his pretty face. That is what I could describe him as…pretty.
“Where do you think you’re going?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I took a drag of my cigarette and was bringing my
hand down when my wrist was caught mid-air before I could butt the cherry out
on Pretty-face’s hand. I glared at Mike, who was the one that caught my hand
and looked back at Pretty, but he was looking at Mike now. “You need to watch
your charge better. She was going after my girl.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I snorted. “Right and Obama had my baby.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“Swan, shut up.” Mike snapped, keeping his eyes
on the other guy. You could practically hear the old western music as they
faced off. “I am sure she meant no harm, excuse us.” </div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
And with that bullshit apology, Mike jerked my
wrist and I was going in the other direction. “What the fuck, Mike?” I snapped
jerking my wrist back, making him stop his movements.</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“Swan, I am not sure if all the shit you’ve done
knocked a screw loose or what, but your filter that is supposed to catch things
like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">putting your cigarette out on
another person’s parole officer</i>, will get you thrown in prison, that parole
officer in particular.” </div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I gave a predominantly falsely dramatic gasp and
a smirk grew on my lips. “Mike, you’re afraid of that guy?! Pretty no-neck guy,
but why?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Mike gave a sigh and shook his head. “I am not
afraid of him…physically.” He dropped my wrist and scrubbed his face. “He is my
superior, Swan. What exactly am I supposed to do?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“Stand up to him, tell him he is being a douche
bag and you know I wasn’t going after some random chick.” I said planting my
hands on my hips. “I know her; she was someone I knew at the hospital.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“You could have spoken up when you saw her,
Swan.” Mike said sighing. “It gets you into less trouble. He looked over the
top of my head and sighed again. “Speaking of trouble…your babysitter is here
to pick you up.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I looked where he was looking and grunted in a
very non-female type of way. “Hey there Jared, anyone go to you yet?” I snorted
at my own joke and looked at Mike’s lifted eyebrow. “You know, ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He went to Jared</i>’?” Mike still looked
confused and I just shook my head at him, turning my attention back to Shrinky.
“So what’s now my virginal Yoda?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Jared rolled his eyes at me and gestured with his
hand that we head inside. I followed him without a word and he led me to an
office down stairs that was reserved for our little one on ones. He has been
better about how he approaches some subjects and we even talked about my mother
some. </div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Charlie was off limits for now.</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I sat in the uncomfortable chair across from him
and brought my legs up to cross them. “So what is on the soul searching agenda
today, Shrinky?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“Well Isabella, I think we should get more
talking about the future today.” He said, ignoring the small growl I gave at
him using my name. I have given up repeating myself telling him not to say it,
but I won’t just sit and take it either. “I want you to tell me what you would
like to accomplish with our sessions together.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I grinned at him and uncrossed my legs, leaning
forward some. “Well Jared, I would like to get you laid.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
He just smiled and shook his head. “You know what
I mean, Isabella.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“What, it’s the truth.” I smirked. “I hey, what
about that shy chick out there. I’ll bet she is a freak. The shy ones usually
are way kinky in bed.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Jared’s eyebrows shot up and then she shook his
head, as if clearing it. “Isabella that is not what I am talking about. What
can I do for you with our one on one session’s?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I licked my lips in a seductive way. “I don’t
know, can you do any tricks with your tongue?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
He pinched the bridge of his nose and I did a
mental victory dance, knowing that usually meant he was done with me for the
day. “I mean in a professional aspect.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“I have a few tongue tricks.” I said unhelpfully
sitting back in the chair in a lazy way playing with my nails. He didn’t say
anything so I side eyed him and smirked. “Of course, for men and women.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
He looked like he was going to stop me for a
second but then he just sat back in the chair, staring at me. Well, this is a
new tactic. The face off. I wonder how far I can go with this. “For example,
the woman they just brought in today, she was in the hospital with me. We had
some good times there.” I wiggled my brows and he just stared. Hmm, alright let
see… “Like this one time, one of the nurses let us up on the roof to have a
smoke and they had just given us our meds so we were high as fuck and just
started making out…”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
There was the slightest shift in his seat, my
smirk grew, and I leaned forward, getting into the story. “The nurse didn’t
know what to do, right? So he just watched us making out, getting all hard as
he watched and listened to us moaning. It was very sexy. Do you enjoy watching
women kissing, Jared?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Stone silent. “I slid my hand up he hospital gown
and lightly touched her—”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“Isabella! That is seriously enough!” he finally
snapped. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gottcha</i>. </div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I tried to look innocent. “You didn’t stop me.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
He looked like he was going to get all red and
angry like he usually does, but instead he took a breath and cocked his head to
the side. “Why do you always go to sex? Why is that your go to move?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I frowned sitting back again, thrown off by the
question. “Sex can be a lot of different things to a lot of different people.”
I said shrugging as I worked on regaining control again. “Two people could be
having sex with each other and both of them are thinking it means two different
things. One thinks love; the other could be getting one last fuck before they
dump the poor sap.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“What do you think sex means?” he said leaning
forward, much like I was. “I mean you must have some thoughts on it since it’s
what you think about so often.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“It alleviates boredom.” I said simply.</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“So you don’t take it as a beautiful way to
procreate and bring a child of your own into the world?” He asked, so seriously
that I actually laughed. </div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“Because all the world needs is another one of me
running around.” I snorted.</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“I think there would be nothing wrong with that.”
Jared said seriously and wrote some scribbles on his notebook. “So if you think
sex is just, something to do, then why do you think you are trying so hard to
cure me of my virgin status?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I grinned at him. “That is because you obviously
need a little fun in your life, Shrinky.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
He put his notebook aside and sat still with his
hands on his lap. “If it is so important, then why don’t you do it yourself?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
My jaw dropped and I shifted in my chair. “Umm,
well Doc, because for one, this door doesn’t lock.” I joked. Did he really just
ask me to pop his cherry?</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“Okay let’s go up to the bedroom.” He said
calmly. </div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“What? No, Mike already put me in a metaphorical
chastity belt.” I said, thinking fast. “I am not allowed to have any type of
relations with men while I am at the house.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“That is a two year abstinence sentence. Why
would he care?” he said frowning, losing his calm look. “Is Mr. Newton acting
inappropriately towards you, Isabella?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“He said that I am just going and looking for
trouble when it usually finds me just fine.” I explained, looking Shrinky over.
“You really want me to pop your cherry?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
He smiled and shook his head. “I would prefer it
wasn’t out of boredom that I encounter my first time, but if you were so
concerned for my well being, and then I was letting you fulfill your need to
protect me.” </div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I grinned. “I am sure that is an important part
of my acceptance process.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“Can you tell me how many people that you would
consider a friend since your parents passed away?” He said randomly.</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Mike is
probably the only thing I have that is even close to a friend.” I paused and
then a slow wide grin spread across my face. “I did just re connect with Jacob
Black again, he popped my cherry back in high school.” I smiled fondly
remembering the entirety of the high jinx we got up to back then. “Man those
were some good times.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
There was a knock on the door and Sue popped her
head in. “Jared dear, there is a new resident that is in need of a one on one
room with her therapist if you didn’t mind.” Shrinky was on his feet in a
second and I followed, vacating the room just as the newbie was making her way
towards us.</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
We walked past each other in the hall and I saw
her side eyeing me as I was her. My left arm swung wide as we passed and hers
did too, making our left wrists collide as we passed each other. “Hey, you want
to watch where you’re fucking walking?” She snapped.</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I turned to face her balling up my fist. “You
want to fucking make me?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
There was a warning tone to my side. “Isabella,
you calm yourself right now or I will use Ativan on you to get you to listen.”
I looked at her Shrinky, whom looks as is if he were saying just about the same
thing more or less to her.</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I smirked
and bit my lip winking at the woman. “I will see you later then, Lee.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“Tonight.” She promised with a small smirk back
and we both turned away from each other, going our separate ways. </div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
When we got to the room, Mike was waiting for me
and I rolled my eyes. “Don’t you have your own home?” I joked, frowning a
little when Jared took my left arm and brought to his face. “Umm…excuse you
Shrinky, but I don’t think that is going to help you assess my mental state.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“I practiced a year as a nurse for a retirement
community back when I was going through my first few years of school.” He said
turning my arm left, right, and bending the wrist here and there. “Well it
doesn’t look like the collision damaged anything.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
This brought Mike to his feet. “What collision?
Dude, I left you down stairs, what kind of collision could there have been?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I put up a hand for both of them. “Now, wait a
second all that happened was I was walking through the hall and winging my arms
and the new girl was going the opposite way and we bumped wrists.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Mike walked over doing the same thing Shrinky
just did, making me roll my eyes. Jared was tapping a finger on his jaw. “What
is that tattoo there, you don’t have any mention of a tattoo on your wrists in
your file.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I looked at the small ‘III’ on my wrists, which
Mike was now studying, and gave a small shrug. “It stands for the third wing of
Greater Columbia Behavioral Health.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Mike’s head shot up and I avoided looking at him.
I knew what he was thinking. When he picked me up from the hospital, it was
from the front entrance and I wasn’t even cuffed. Everyone that knew the state
system knew the third wing of the hospital meant those who were labeled ‘High
risk’ and even the criminally insane go there, usually for life unless they can
afford a fancy lawyer to get a privet facility.</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Jared went on. “I get that but what does it mean,
personally?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I shrugged nonchalantly. “I had two roommates. We
got close.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Jared nodded and I headed for the bedroom door,
suddenly not feeling like being cooped up anymore. “Where are they now, these
roommates?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I touched the door knob and closed my eyes,
mentally detaching myself from the answer so that it wouldn’t sting so badly. I
didn’t even bother turning back around to face him. “One is here, that is Lee,
the one I ‘collided’ with down stairs. The other… she didn’t have a very good
plan for leaving. From what I found out from lockup and the few newspaper’s
that Mike here would smuggle me in the mornings, she was found hanging in the
stairwell of her place a few days after being released.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I opened the door and walked out, heading back
down stairs, ignoring the urgent, whispered ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Swan</i>’ that followed me until we hit the porch. Then I spun on him,
looking at him pleadingly. “Mike, take me from here, even if it is for a little
while.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
He pulled me to him and rested his chin on my
head and I fought him at first but then just gave up and embraced him. I felt
better for it and I guess he knew I would. I hate that a little. “I can’t and
you know I can’t.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Just then shy girl walked by and headed off the
porch to her stern parole officer that was waiting by his patrol car. I made an
indignant voice, throwing up my hand to gesture at her. “Mike, look they are
leaving, why don’t you take me for a ride?” I whined making him rolls his eyes
at me. I grinned at his and leaned heavily on his arm pushing my chest out
closer to him. “Or better yet, I can ride you.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
His face got red and pulled my arm until we were
around the side of the house and he pulled out his phone as we walked off the
porch into the grass. Whomever he called picked up and he gave me a quick look
before saying into the phone. “Hello this is officer Newton; I am advising that I am taking
monitor 896321 off of the grounds and out of range.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I perked up and started bouncing a little as he
finished his phone call. He laughed and shook his head. “Small walk, you hear
me?”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I nodded fast and bolted for the woods spinning
when I get just inside the tree covering. “You have no idea how awesome this
really is.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Mike snorted and I looked behind me, slowing down
some so he could catch up. “Swan, you have been institutionalized since you
were 19, trust me, I get it.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I frowned a little walking in step with him.
“Mike, why aren’t you like… married with a bundle of children and a white fence
and all that jazz? Well I do know that one of the problems is that you spend
way too much time here with me.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
He looked at me and stopped walking. I stopped
too looking at him back. It was a look-off. He stepped closer to me and spoke
so low I had to lean closer to hear him. “I would much rather be here spending
the two years of your sentence in this house every chance I get, then go home
and know that you are here doing it yourself.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
There was a tension between us. That electric you
get right before you kiss someone for the first time. It was there between us
now and I watched as he shifted, leaning closer. Apparently he is saying fuck
his job at this point. I grabbed his collar and pulled him closer, so our lips
were almost touching. </div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
A scream for help rang out of the house. </div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
We both sprint back to the house, of course he is
moving faster because he doesn’t have a stupid ankle monitor on. The screams
are still going when we hit the stairs and then just stop abruptly. Lee’s
shrink and Mrs. Smiley ran by us and I whispered to Mike. “Lee, Mike. It was
the new girl, Lee!”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Mike followed the shrink and I followed Mike and
we all headed to where I guess was Lee’s room. It sounded like she was fighting
everyone. I could hear Sue’s voice trying to calm her. Mike went right in to
help with the situation and I just leaned against the door watching them all
tackle my naked former roommate. I saw her shrink pull out a needle and I was
mentally coaching her. ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lee stop, stop
fighting them it’s fine</i>.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
It didn’t work, the shrink jabbed her trapezius
and the drug took seconds to work, making her lose all fight completely. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ativan</i>. Leah used to hate Ativan because
it always took so long to go through her. I heard her say something but I
couldn’t make out what it was.</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Mike was leaving the room again and he stopped by
me. “Stay here, I am going with Sue down stairs real fast and I will be right
back. Stay here.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I nodded smiling innocently and he rolled his
eyes at me and left. </div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
“Whoa, guess she was having a hard time
adjusting, huh?” said a quiet voice behind me. I turned to see the shy girl.</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I narrowed my eyes a little but smiled at her
when I half turned to face her. “So, Rachel.” I said her name as if it were a
sarcastic come back. “As it turns out we could have been in laws at one point.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
She frowned and cocked her head at me without
saying anything and I turned to her completely. “You see your little brother
Jakie and I were fucking like rabbits back in the day.” I smirked watching her
face go through a plethora of emotions. I leaned in close whispering into her
ear, making sure there was the right amount of seductive breathiness to it. “I
popped his little man cherry and we fucked all over la push. If I had stayed,
who knows, maybe I would have been your sister in law.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I laughed at the disgusted noise she made and
turned to look back at Lee, hoping it was enough to get the little fucker to
run off in an emotional panic. I heard a snort and I looked back seeing her
smirk. “I doubt that would have happened if you stayed. You see, my brother is
chief and everyone in la push knows what a fucked up crazy slut you are, so
there would be no way that he would have been with you for longer then it took
to use you like the whore that you are.”</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Wow, nice.</div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
I pulled my fist back and it was suddenly
wrenched back behind me, my finger tips touching my spine. I growled bucking
against the hold, but it was pointless. I looked back as saw that it was Captain
Pretty-face and he was looking like he was in no mood for my shit, so I fought
him hard. I saw Jared running up the hall way and suddenly instantly went limp
and dropped to my knees and put my forehead to the floor. </div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Riot position at the hospital when the guys with
the needles start moving in. You drop to your knees and put your forehead to
the floor and it shows that you are lucid and able to cooperate so they don’t
have to stick you with the needle. </div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Jared grunted and sighed. “Just stake her back to
the bedroom.” He said, sounding tired. </div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
<br /></div>
<div style="line-height: normal;">
Well, I almost had a problem free day. </div>
The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-47358223814384753232014-03-17T15:01:00.003-07:002014-03-17T15:02:49.800-07:00POSTED: The Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Rachel 4<br />
<br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;">"Talo"
He steady temperamental tone has become a sound of familiarity to me, I didn't
have to look up to see who was speaking to me. I already knew I was in trouble.
How much trouble was the question? Since he used my nick name and not my last
name I guessed not too much. Then again I could feel that hard stare glaring
down at me while I pushed the food around on my plate.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I
couldn't acknowledge him even if I wanted to. I was too caught up in my own
safe world to really hear anything or anyone. I was completely checked out,
spaced off into a place where I wasn't looked down. Somewhere I was free to be
my happy self without anyone having the right to try and take that from me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Paul,
she is in a very delicate state right now. Please proceed with caution" The
soothing whisper from Sue took me back to when my mother was alive. The fact that
I was now imagining a life with Sue as my mother had me sinking in deeper to my
black hole of make-believe. "I got it Sue." I watched my plate
slowly getting pulled away from me I frowned not having anything to make me
look busy now before I sighed to look up to him not daring to try and speak.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"What
happened?" He questioned in a cautious tone but I already knew he knew
exactly what happened. His finger drummed along the table annoyingly. He
must of caught my disapproval because he drummed harder. "Please
stop." I mumbled avoiding his eyes.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Oh
she speaks." His tone was playful but I was not in the mood I pushed
myself back from the table getting up. That was when Robocop came out to fuck
my day up even more. "Hold it. You do not walk away from me. You have not
finished your food. Sit."</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Do
I look like a fucking bitch? You think you can snap your fingers and force me
to sit and eat THAT" I pointed to the food with a grim frown. Lahote stood
up picking the plate up, his eyes stayed heavily on me as he grabbed my hand
planting the pate in it. "Put it away and meet me outside. Don't you
dare have me come back in here in 10 minutes looking for you?"</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Whatever
Robodick" I muttered frustrated walking to the back of the kitchen
thankful I didn't need to eat that crap. Sue was in the kitchen and took my
plate she smiled sadly at me. I would have asked why she was upset but at the
moment I really didn't care. I was betting it was because of my one on one
session today.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Lahote
was standing by his car with the back door open perched against the driver
door, his arms crossed over his chest. I stopped in front of the door grinning
but Lahote was not.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Mike
look they are leaving, why don't you take me for a ride. Or better yet I can
ride you" I looked behind me to see that swan chick looking out the door
at me with a fuck me grin. I rolled my eyes shaking my head when Lahote's
throat clearing forced me to look back at him.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Get
in Black." His hand gestured to the back seat I took a few steps stopping
before getting in to look at him. "What no cuffs? I can't tell how much
trouble I'm really in are you taking me to Jail?" Honestly speaking I
couldn't figure out what the angle is right now.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Should
I be?" Sgt Lahote helped me in the back seat waiting for me to buckle up
my shoulder shrugged and he shut the car door getting in, his eyes instantly
caught mine from the review mirror while he started the car. "How about we
get some real food, its easier to talk with a full stomach."</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">" I
am not hungry." I muttered like a disobedient child, Sgt Lahote shot
me a warning glare from the mirror making me fall in the back of the seat
crossing my arms. "I am not asking if you are hungry now am I." I
couldn't help but to laugh shaking my head. " No I guess not. Maybe
Jerkface could take notes from you and not ask so many questions. Not like he
listens to my answers. I mean who the hell ask how you feel and when you answer
contracts and tells you that you feel something different. Why not just save me
the time and write down how you all think I should feel and get on with the
day."</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Letting
out a frustrated sigh I leaned my head back liking the way the cold glass felt
against my forehead. "That doesn't sound like it would help you at
all." Sgt Lahote gave his two cents while driving us to a diner not to far
from the house. "You were very open with the therapist at the rehab from
what I am told." Lahote parked the car looking back at me from the review,
I shrugged looking back. "I don't want to keep having to repeat the same
story over and over, reliving it does not help. Besides He didn't ask
he..."Sighs trailing off not wanting to go into more detail. Lahote got
out of the car opening my door for me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">When I
got out Sgt. Lahote put a heavy hand on my shoulder giving it a tight squeeze
nodding towards the diner. "This place has the best burger and fries
you'll ever eat." I laughed when he opened the door for me rubbing his
stomach. As soon as the door opened you could smell all the amazing
flavors being cooked. The place was packed actually all you could hear was
dishes clinging a loud hum of people talking. The Sgt walked in as if he owned
the place nodding to the hostess as he guided me inside. He paused for a moment
looking around then grinned putting his hand on the back of my neck walking me
towards a woman who smiled wide when she seen Lahote.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Paul!"
she grinned wide at him pulling him into a tight hug. "It's so good to see
you. You're a hard man to get a hold of." I stood behind him watching; he
wrapped his arms tightly around her and smiled without acknowledging me.
"I have been busy with work and all. You think I can get a couple burgers
to go?" The woman looked at me then back to Sgt. Lahote her brow
arched and reluctantly nodded. "Oh course. Let me go get that started for
you." She smiled sadly back at me and walked away. I had questions but the
way Lahote ran his fingers through his hair looking around made me feel sad for
him.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Have
a seat Black, Right over there by the window. I'll be back." I could tell
by the tone in his voice that he was testing me, he didn't know it but I don't
think I could truly defy him even if I wanted to so I went and sat down while
he went back and talked to the lady. I was curious to know what we were doing
here or why he even took me out after what I did to the quake back at the
house, but I was more curious about his story. Sgt. Lahote was mysterious and
hard to see through his dark eyes. Most people aren't like that unless
something has happened to them.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"On
our feet Black lets go." Lahote walked back over carrying a couple bags
the lady he was talking to rushed over before we walked out she looked like she
wanted to say more then what she actually said. "I hope you enjoy, take care."
I didn't know what to say; luckily he spoke for me, towing me out to the car.
"She will, I can promise that on both." He winked at her and opened
the car door for me to get in back again handing me the bags of food.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Can't
I sit up front?" I feel weird with you driving and me back here. "I
asked when he got in, he didn't look up at me just nodded once. I tossed the
bags of food on his lap and climbed over the seats to the front earn a chuckle
from him. "You could have walked around."</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"And
risk Mr RoboCop thinking I was escaping. Ha No I'm good." I teased taking
the food back opening the bag. "Who was that lady?" Lahote pulled out
the drive way, I popped a fry in my mouth looking at him offering him one.
Lahote took the fry keeping his eyes on the road. "An old friend."
The distances in his tone took me back. I figured that would be a good
place to end my questions. He didn't force me to talk about stuff so I wouldn't
do the same. Though thinking about it I wouldn't be able to force him to do
anything like he could do with me.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">When I
realized where he was headed I squealed overly excited. We drove down the long
curvy road to the beach. My most absolute favorite place to go. "You’re
taking me to the beach!" I didn't mean to scream out. Lahote laughed
nodding. "Yeah, your brother said you used to come here when you where
stressed to calm yourself down. We will call it probation therapy. "</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">As soon
as the car stopped I flung my door open jumping out running down to the shore
line kicking my shoes off feeling so much better as the sand wiggled between my
toes. It was as if a huge weight was lifted from me. When I looked back
Lahote had his hands locked behind his head watching me walking slowly down to
meet me at the shore line. I flopped down on the sand looking out at the angry
waves.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Well
if I knew it was that easy to make you smile I would have brought you here day
one." Lahote chuckled kneeling down beside me, my eyes sideways glanced at
him not say anything just wanting to enjoy being outside, watching the waves
break. I wanted to enjoy feeling normal for once. "I remember the first
time I saw you was here. About 90 percent of the times I saw you, all where
here."</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Looking
at him confused I took a deep breath. "You remember me and I still only
remember you as the guy who hung out with Jake. I'm pretty self-involved
huh?" He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "No, you were a
kid; I think your friends were the influence. I remember once you were
here alone and some fish or something washed up. Anyone else would have walked
by but you checked if it was alive then helped it back in the water."</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"So,
what's your point?" I asked sinking my feet deeper into the sand. “I don't
think you have ever really had the chance to be yourself. Or get to know
yourself. It's why you’re so confused. You never had anyone to just be yourself
around." My shoulders shrugged hugging my knees keeping my eyes on
the sand. "I guess no one has ever been interested in the real me.”</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Well
I am." Lahote handed me a burger, I didn't think twice it looked so good I
started to eat it right away. I herd him laugh at me but I didn't care it
was amazing compared to all the hospital and cheap food I have been feed for
the past few months.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Once we
finished I looked over at him and sighed. "I didn't mean to exactly cuss
the guy out, or throw his dumb degree at him." I started but kept my
eyes on the water. "He asked why I felt I needed the pills after my dad
died. I said it started out with me unable to sleep and just not able to really
admit to myself he was gone. He told me no. He said No that's not why I did and
to stop lying to myself." I stopped when I herd my own tone crack closing
my eyes putting all my focus on the crash of the waves.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Why
would he think your lying to yourself?" He asked reluctantly.
"Because he read the other therapist notes I guess. He told me I will
never recover because I am not brave enough to face any truth on my own that
its forced out of me. He said that I'll be in and out of jail unless I started
talking to him. I don't like feeling pressured. I don't think he should talk to
anyone that way. He thinks he has the right because he has some stupid degree
from some unknown collage."</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">Lahote
just sat there listening to me. When I paused he shook his head his eyes seemed
far away again, he rubbed the stubble on his chin and sighed. "Why was it
easier to talk to the therapist in the rehab for you?" My finger was
drawing circles in the sand thinking back to rehab. "Because she didn't
force words down my throat and she let me talk and express myself. She guided
me but let me figure things out on my own. I guess." I paused for a long
moment before turning sitting up on my knees facing Lahote.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Am
I in trouble? Will he send me to jail?" I asked nervously wondering if
that was why he was being so nice because or next stop was county. "No. I
will take care of it. But next time you're going to melt down use my number
Rachel. Please. I will take care of the Jerkface for you if you promise
to call me next time."</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I laughed
when he called him Jerkface like the time I had earlier. I was smiling so wide
that when his eyes found mine and he saw my smile he couldn't help but to grin
back at me. "What?" He laughed kicking me with his foot. "You'll
take care of it? You’re my big bad protector now?" I feel back on my hands
laughing trying to look away but I couldn't. Lahote winked at me then got up
offering me a hand, that I gladly took standing up assuming it was time to go.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"The
thought of me as your protector is funny to you?" He questioned trying his
hardest to be serious but I saw the corner of his mouth twitch upwards. I
started to nod and in a blink of an eye Lahote snatched me up taking off
towards the water making me scream but laugh at the same time.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"DON'T
PLEASE NOT THE WATER PLEASE!" I was trying my best to plea with him but he
ran straight to the water up to his ankles. He let his arms jerk as if he was
going to drop me but I clung on to him kicking my feet determined to have him
go down with me. Lahote laughed harder again jerking his arms as if to drop me.
"Say I am a good protector!" he chuckled not letting me go I snorted
a laugh unable to speak. "Say it or I'll drop you!" He demanded again
I was nodding but no words came out between my laughing and attempts to
breathe. "Say it. Say it now or I'll toss you in with the fishes."</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"You're
a good one" I laughed to hard to get out the proper words. Lahote dipped
me down letting the ends of my hair get wet; I screamed not wanting to mess my
hair up. "Ok ok You're the best protector!" Lahote laughed finally
setting me down on my feet. I kicked some water at him and took off running
towards the car. Sgt Lahote chased after me but I won the race. We both stood
by the car out of breath still laughing; he checked the time then nodded for me
to get in the car.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"We
need to head back." I frowned when he opened the car door waiting for me
to open mine and get in. "We can come back but next time it will be on a
good behavior visit. Today was just to give you some room to breathe a little
alright?"</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Yeah
ok. I guess we won't be coming back. “I teased noticing a picture on his dash
board of a beautiful woman. Lahote was starting the car shaking his head
smiling but disapproving. I leaned over grabbing the picture before he could
react. "Who is this?" I studied the picture not noticing Lahote tense
up while driving. That was when I noticed the ring on his finger.
"Is she your wife? You're married?"</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">"Yeah"
He didn't give me a straight answer his whole mood changed making me think
maybe there was trouble at home. I handed the picture back keeping quiet the
rest of the way to the home feeling as if I did or said something wrong.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">When we
got back to the house we both got out, Lahote walked me to the staircase
stopping me before we went up. "Talo, I was serious when I said to call me
for anything, even if you need to talk before you do something you regret,
don't hesitate." I nodded still feeling like I over stepped a line or
something and ran up the stairs. Lahote didn't walk out the house he walked
towards the shrinks’ office which made me more nervous wondering what exactly
he was up to.</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">When I
got to my room there was flowers on my dresser, I shut the door then found the card
that came with them. Sis’ I am sorry for being an ass and trying to push you.
We don't have to do anything you are not ready for. Love you always, Jacob.'</span></div>
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<span style="color: black;">I smelled
the flowers moving them to the night stand sitting on my bed rubbing my face
and leaning back on the bed oddly jealous that Lahote was married but at the
same time glad he had found that special person in his life. I hope one day
when I am done with all this stuff I can find someone to be myself with and be
happily in love, married have kids. It gave me something to look forward to.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;">I’m
quickly reminded how far off that dream was though by one of the girls suddenly
screaming for help and throwing things around. I wasn’t sure at first if I
should go and see, because more often then not here, if a woman is randomly
screaming for help, it isn’t because there is anything the rest of the world
can see that is attacking her. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="color: black;">Finally I
decided to go check it out. I crept out my door and went a few doors down to
seeing the Swan chick leaning against the door frame, watching this poor naked
woman freak out on everyone. They just got her drugged when I came up behind
Swan. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
“Whoa, guess she was having a hard
time adjusting, huh?” I said, staring at the woman in the room. I couldn’t
imagine freaking out so bad that it took three grown men and a needle of drugs
to calm me. I wonder what happened in her life to cause her such great pain.</div>
Swan half turned to me and smiled. “So, Rachel…” I didn’t like the way she
just said my name. “As it turns out we could have been in-laws at one point.” I
didn’t think that was possible but I made myself look interested and listen to
her reasoning.<br />
She faced me fully and I could see the malice in her smile. “You see your
little brother Jakie and I were fucking like rabbits back in the day.” She said
smirking and leaning close to my ear and spoke with a breathiness that made me
shiver. “I popped his little man cherry and we fucked all over la push. If I
had stayed, who knows, maybe I would have been your sister in law.”<br />
My eyes instantly saw red and I clenched my fists as she turned from me like
I was a piece of trash she was done with. Fine bitch, let’s play. I snorted as
if I were amused and smirked at her when she turned to look at me. “I doubt
that would have happened if you stayed. You see, my brother is chief and
everyone in la push knows what a fucked up crazy slut you are, so there would
be no way that he would have been with you for longer then it took to use you
like the whore that you are.”<br />
She was defiantly going to hit me. I never got into a fight before, but I
could see that she was going to hit me. She looked impressed, but yeah, there
was a hit coming. <br />
Totally worth it.<br />
I closed my eyes waiting for the hit but instead Paul’s voice chimed into my
ear. “You know that this is one of those thing you call me for, right?” I
jumped and he physically picked me up and moved me before Swan could get off a
good kick. She wasn’t aiming for me, but fighting at random when a big officer,
someone I have never seen before, hemmed her up with her hand behind her back.
I saw her counselor coming down the hall and smiled to myself as Paul let me
away.<br />
Karma bitch. Being bad was a scary kind of fun. <br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-75524980381047662342014-02-26T23:47:00.000-08:002014-02-26T23:47:05.729-08:00Behind the scenes: Shit the girls do<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b> </b><u><b>Behind the scenes: Shit the girls do</b></u></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
~<i>Leah and Swan’s badly made plan</i>~</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Swan looks around the porch to make sure no one of importance was looking
before coming up behind Victoria
and throwing an arm around her shoulders. “Hey there Victoria, how’s tricks.” She said slyly,
knowing that Victoria
was a pretty big time prostitute before she got caught and sent here. <br />
“Get the fuck off me Swan.” She snapped pushing her arm off of her, looking
at Swan with a glare.<br />
<br />
“What do you want?”<br />
<br />
Swan tried her hardest to look insulted. “Well, I just don’t know what to
say Victoria.
I mean my shrink tells me that I need to be more open and out there, so I try
and this is what happens.” She sees a small hand dip into Victoria’s pocket from behind and rushes to
keep her attention. “Can you at least tell my Shrink that I did my best to make
a friend?”<br />
<br />
Swan waits until the small hand disappears again and Lee walks back into the
house whistling nonchalantly. Before Victoria
could say anything, Swan grins and winks at her. “Nah, never mind, I will just
tell him you were too big of a cunt.”<br />
<br />
Victoria
growls and leaps for swan, knocking her over. The other girls go crazy, only
having seen what happened, but not heard what was said. Sue came running out
along with two counselors to pull Victoria
off of Swan. Swan of course is acting more traumatized then needed, but it kept
the focus of anger on Victoria.<br />
<br />
“She just attacked me out of no where!” Swan wailed dramatically. Sue looked
at swan skeptically but turned to Victoria.
Before she could ask however, the three or four witnesses were all talking at
once, backing up Swan’s story.<br />
<br />
Lee came out from right inside the door. “I saw the whole thing, Swan was
trying to make friends and Victoria
attacked her. It’s like she was crazed or something. I seen the same shit at
the hospital, but that chick was doped up.”<br />
<br />
Victoria
started fighting the counselors grip and a small baggy of crushed pills comes
flying out of her jacket pocket.<br />
<br />
Lee cocked her head to the side at Swan and they slowly disappeared into the
growing crowed, slipping upstairs into Lee’s room.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*Shakes the bottle, mouth facing you to waft the sweet scent in your
direction*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Laughs- serve me up!<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*pats the bed next to me* Get your skinny ass over here and you can have
some<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Climbs in doing the 'gimme' fingers-<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater </strong></div>
*snorts and passes*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Takes a swig- so what’s with the sudden rebel deal?<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*Shrugs a single shoulder* Why the hell not? I'm stuck here anyways, might
as well. *steals the bottle back*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Shrugs smirking- no complaint here<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
Didn't think you would. *Slumps back taking a pull*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Lifts a brow-Come on, tell me what’s up. -Throws you my pack after pulling
one free-<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*Juggles the bottle mid-pull trying to catch the pack* What do you want me
to tell you, exactly? *shakes one out and grabs my lighter from the nightstand,
lights up and passes it to you*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Lights mine taking the bottle from you- I don’t know. You're only like this
when you’ve hit a roadblock somewhere.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*Closes my eyes taking a long drag, speaks around holding the smoke in* I
just don't really give a fuck anymore. About anything. *exhales slowly not
looking at you*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Snorts- that's my line<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*Nods smirking* I know it is<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Grins- alright then, not caring it is<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
Not caring at all. Winning. *snort humorlessly and takes the bottle back,
taking a long pull*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
Alright with the not caring, what kind of trouble should we get into?<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
Aren't we already in trouble? *lifts a brow* We’re drinking... in a rehab
home and smoking indoors. We're essentially fucked, if we were caring that is.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Ignores that- I think we should get the boys into trouble ...<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
I caught what you did there... *Snorts washing down a pull of Gentleman with
a drag* How are we doing that?<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
Go out and make them react of course. You go for mike, I’ll get Quil and we
can “accidentally” get caught by each other.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
You actually want to let Quil catch us being fuck ups?!<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Snorts- you know he isn't going to do shit because he will be focused on
mike touching you<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*Blinks long and slow, then laughs* Good point. *Takes another long swig
practically draining the remainder of the bottle*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Steals it finishing it off-<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*very unladylike-ishly wipes the back of my hand over my mouth* Don't worry,
I've got more stashed. *Smirks pushing myself to my feet, swaying to find my
balance*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
I think I hear Quil coming up the hall; I'll stop him and get him with me. -Rolls
off the bed and hits the floor laughing hard and scrambles to get up and run to
meet Quil-<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*Spits laughing out loud when you thud, falling backwards in to the wall. Waits
to hear the confrontation between you and Quil and until I hear Mike's voice
approaching. Stumbles my way out practically tackling Mike right outside my
door*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Explains to Quil I had something to tell him in private about Lee and then
pulls him into my room pushing him on the bed-<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*Shakes my head at Mike trying to push me aside to check on you and grabs
his jaw to force him to look at me. Tries not to pass a glance over my shoulder
Swan’s way as I pull Mike in to my room, kicking the empty bottle under my bed
with the telltale glass rolling sound filling the air*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
Quil tries to get up but I crawl over him. He put his hands on my hips to
lift me off when he hears a sound down the hall and I grab his face kissing
him-<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*Mike lifts a brow and grabs my upper arms to move me out of he way to see
what the sound was, I giggle like a drunken school girl and shake my head
playing it off as nothing pushing him back on the bed to kiss him*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Taken by surprise he responds at first and then pushes me back gathering
his senses -<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*the alcohol driving my actions, I bite Mike's lip and smirk against his
lips holding his face firmly in my grasp not willing to let him go when he
groans out a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">'Jesus Christ'</i> at the
bite. Bites again stretching on to my toes unsteadily*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Quil catches on that I am trying to keep him from the room and picks me up
taking me with him over his shoulder - you know does anyone realize I can
walk?? -Bursts into Lee’s room-<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*Mike's hands slide up my arm to mimic how mine hold him, his fingers curl
in to my hair just before the door gets thrown open and Quil dumps Swan’s ass
on my bed and yanks Mike off me mid-kiss. Lets out a bellow of pain, my knees
buckling when Mike's hand pulls the hair from the back of my head because of
Quil pulling him away*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Jumps from the bed onto Quil trying to make him stop-<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*shakes my head as if shaking off the pain like a dog and pushes to my feet
grabbing around Swan’s waist to pull her back seeing as the guys have both
stopped and are focused on us*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Grabs Lee’s hand doing my best to look innocent -<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater</strong></div>
*side eyes Swan quickly. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Innocent?</i>
Turns my head to look fully at Swan in shock and awe before bursting in to a fit
of laughter at her expression, paying no attention to both guys taking turns reaming
us out*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Laughs with Lee, hiccupping slightly-<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Lee Clearwater </strong></div>
*falls backwards to sit on the edge of my bed, howling and laughing like a
loon*<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong>Swan</strong></div>
-Falls with Lee, grinning wide-<br />
<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The girls get pulled up by the boys, there
own parole officer on each one of them. Swan gives a shout, trying to fight
Mike off, but is still laughing at the same time, making it hard. “Ack, Mike, get
off!”<br />
<br />
Swan tries to hold on to Lee, throwing a kick out at Quil to get his
attention as mike hauls her out of the room. “Hey baby, thanks for the bump and
grind, I want it just as rough next time.” She only laughs harder as he
advances on her and mike pushes Swan behind him in a protective and silencing
gesture.<br />
<br />
The boys growl about talking later with each other. Swan grunts as he pulls
her fully out of the room. She is fighting tooth and nail and screaming all the
way down the hallway. “LEE! LEE! I'm coming for you baby!”<br />
<br />
“He said he is going to have to punish me!” Lee screams back, laughing hysterically
making Quil growl a snappish “Shut up!”<br />
<br />
Swan laughs insanely when she hears Lee, earning a nasty “Shut up!” from
Mike too.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-79698712132933634542014-02-14T10:37:00.002-08:002014-02-14T10:37:50.910-08:00POSTED: The Home<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pznTFFL66nI/Uv5hTW_OdKI/AAAAAAAAFjc/6ZxbkzAb8e4/s1600/-Stephen-Amell-stephen-amell-34315212-500-201.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pznTFFL66nI/Uv5hTW_OdKI/AAAAAAAAFjc/6ZxbkzAb8e4/s1600/-Stephen-Amell-stephen-amell-34315212-500-201.png" height="150" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>(Signed: Blacksheep Fiction = Swan)</b></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Swan 3</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The smell of food turned my stomach again and I pushed my face
further into the pillow. The relief lasted for all of two minutes before the
door to the room open and then shut again and the smell increased ten fold.
“Rise and shine, sleepy head, I have breakfast for you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Fuck off I am not hungry.” I snapped, trying to kick his
ass off my bed without success where he had perched. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was the sound of a tray being set on my night stand
and a heavy bounce on the bed before I was being dragged out of my comfy
paradise. “What the fuck?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You need to get up and to put it mildly, you stink.” He
said casually as he carried me to the shower. I started to squirm out of his
grasp but he held tight. “Stop it before I drop you. I will stay in there and
wash you myself if you don’t behave.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I narrowed my eyes. “Isn’t that some kind of breech of patient
and doctor relationship thing?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Not when it’s done clinically and without emotion.” He
said, planting me on my feet and turning on the warm water. “Now, are you going
to do this the hard way or the easy way?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I smirked, loving how he just made shit so easy for me. I
sat on the shower floor and glared up at him. He sighed and shook his head.
“Alright, we are five today. I got it.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jared reached over, pulled the shower tab making the water
go from the spigot to the sprayer, and it hit me full blast making me gasp. I
stayed stubborn though, not moving as the water pelted me. To his credit, he
stayed true as well, getting soaked as he peeled my clothes off in a detached
way. He scrubbed me down and even did my hair, which I know was a bitch because
there were pounds of the stuff and you only get four showers a week at the
hospital and I hadn’t gotten any in jail. It took three shampoo and two
conditioner rounds to get it clean and unknotted. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When he was satisfied that I was clean, he turned off the
water and stepped out of the shower toweling him self off, soaked clothes and
all and walked out of the bathroom and into his room, which was easy because,
it was a dormer type bathroom, so our bedrooms were connected through it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He came back with clean dry clothes on and I still sat in
the bottom of the shower, glaring at him. He held out the towel as you would to
wrap around a child. I stood slowly and stepped out of the shower, ignoring the
towel and walking back into my room naked, not giving a damn about the puddles
I was making along the way. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wouldn’t tell him, but I actually felt better having taken
a shower. I felt lighter and just… better. Only thing that would make it better
would be sprinkling some getting laid into the mix. I turned to Shrinky and
smirked. “Hey there Shrinky, how firm are those doctor patient morals of
yours?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He lifted a brow at me and busied himself in the bathroom. I
guess being detached and clinic only lasts so long. “Rock solid, Isabella. Get
dressed.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Don’t call me that.” I grunted out and sighed, flopping on
the bed, ignoring his request. “Well damn.” I sat up to my elbows fast though
as another thought came to me. “You know, Mike did have a thing for me in high
school. I’ll bet I could get him over here for some fun.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jared sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You
know I could get Sue in here to dress you. She is kind, but I guarantee she won’t
be gentle or sweet about a grown ass woman who refuses to dress herself out of
some little childish tantrum.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My brows rose into my hairline and I smirked at him. “Well,
well, well. The doctor does have a set of balls under that dress he wears. His
balls are apparently named Sue, but still. The fact that the threat was thrown
out is a step in to the manly direction.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He stomped his way into my room and came right up to the
edge of the bed. “You are not a petulant sixteen year old child Isabella. You
don’t get to act this way in the normal world and have it be alright with
everyone because of what happened to you.” He seethed. I lost all humor in me
and suddenly, I wanted to cover up. “What happened was horrible and should
never happen to anyone, but it doesn’t give you a free pass!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sat up pushing past him and opened my duffle. I rummaged
around inside until I came out with a white tank top and gray sweats. It felt
like everything was spiraling down into darkness and I was trying to claw my
way back out. “You don’t know anything about that.” I choked, trying to shove
the clothes over my body in a hurry. I spotted Mike’s business card that he
said he had thrown into my bag. “You don’t know anything about anything, you’re
like 12, straight out of shrink school!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn’t turn and look, but I could feel Shrinky right
behind me. “Yes I do, I have read what happened to you. I researched it
non-stop since they handed you to me as my only and high priority case. I have
yet to find out why you were so high priority though.” He was speaking calm,
but I could hear the fury leaking into his voice. “You act like the world owes
you a favor when really; maybe you should be thanking the world for leaving you
intact and not ending up like your family.” I covered my ears but he grabbed my
wrists and uncovered them again. “You are not the only person in the world to
lose their family in such a tragic way. There are people all over the world
that had even had it worse, but they are still walking around and surviving
each day like a normal person. They are not in and out of mental facilities and
jail. They are not treating everyone else like shit just to make themselves
feel better!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I spun on him looking him dead in the eyes and feeling the
almost comforting heat rise in my body that signaled the moments before I
completely lost it. “You know nothing about it. NOTHING. Give me your phone.” I
clenched my teeth when he just stared at me without moving. “Give me your
fucking phone.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Slowly he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small
cheap phone. Something I would have called a burner phone when I was on the
streets. I flipped it open and dialed Mike’s number from the card he left him
my duffle. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Isabella, if you just get over this—”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Don’t. Fucking. Call. Me. That!” I ground out. “Fuck you, how
about I cut off your fucking balls and then let me repeat to you how you need
to get over it.” I snapped.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Swan?” I had never been so relieved to hear my parole
officer’s voice. “Oh god, Mike. Please come get me, this was a mistake. I am
about to stab my shrink in the eye with the Chinese hair pick I have in my
duffle if you don’t come and get me right now.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was soft swearing on the other end before Mike’s
smooth voice came back. “Okay is he in front of you right now?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes.” I said honestly, eying Shrinky contemptuously. He was
looking back at me with a cautious look. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do you have a weapon on him?” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hand him the phone.” Mike said gently.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mike sighed. “Swan goddamnit, you know that if he sends one
bad report to Tyler and Tyler is feeling even a mite spiteful today, you will
be going to prison.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I growled, feeling the tears run down my face without my
permission. “He is talking about my family like he knows what happened!” I
yelled. “He doesn’t know me! He doesn’t know them!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Give him the phone, Swan.” Mike said, more authority
leaking into his calm soothing tone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I cried out, throwing the phone in frustration and sitting
heavily to the floor, just staring straight ahead at nothing. I wanted to feel
nothing. I closed my eyes, praying for numbness, but it didn’t come. Instead,
came the usual assault of senses from that day. The smell of my father’s
cologne, the sound of my mother screaming, the smell of gun powder and blood
mixed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was a snapping noise and Jared’s face hovered in front
of me. “Isabella, come back here. You’re in La Push home for women. Do you know
what day it is? Can you hear me?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I skittered backwards away from him frowning as I came back
into the present time. There was a bang on the door and Jared stood up and
opened it, talking low to whoever was on the other side. Finally he moved aside
and Mike walked into the room looking around. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I made a desperate noise and was on my feet running at him
as soon as I saw him. He caught me, allowing me to wrap myself around him,
shaking badly as all my emotion drained from my body. He held me close to him,
a hand holding my head to his chest and one at my back practically supporting
me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I felt the stubble from his chin on the top of my head and
inhaled the smell on his jacket. It felt slightly damp, which meant it was
probably raining outside. He was murmuring softly and stroking my hair. “Its
okay, you’re going to be fine, Swan. You’re right, he doesn’t know you. It’s
okay.” He put my back to Jared, so he could face him, I guess. “Have you lost
you’re fucking mind? What the fuck is wrong with you?” It took me a full three
seconds to realize he wasn’t talking to me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“She needs to learn that the behavior and attitude that she
uses to keep herself from coming to grips with the past isn’t acceptable
behavior in the normal world.” Shrinky said. His voice was a tad defensive. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mike sighed rubbing my back and pulling me towards the door
as if shielding me from the horrible memories that threatened to invade me. “You
don’t fucking start right off the bat forcing her to face this shit outright.
Are you a real fucking shrink, because right now you fucking suck at it?” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was a small room off to the side up stairs, like a
second common room, that Mike took me too after we left my room. Shrinky didn’t
follow. “Okay your safe now Swan, you can let go.” I shook my head and remained
locked around his waist, making him laugh. “You know if people think we are too
close, they will assign you another probation officer.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My grip went slack and I stepped away from him at once,
looking up at him with a smirk, before rubbing my face in frustration. “Look, I
know it’s pathetic, I am sorry, but you said if I was about to do something
wrong I should call you. I was seriously going to shank the fucker.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He shook his head and reached for my hand holding it
lightly. “I am glad you did, I do not want to have to come here to arrest you
for murdering your shrink.” He let go of my hand as if he just realized it
wasn’t proper behavior of a parole officer and instead ran his fingers through
his hair. “Look, you know he is only doing his job right?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I shrugged sitting down in one of the chairs. There were
noises around the house, sounds of the other girls out and about I supposed.
Not like it was a bright beautiful morning, according to view from the window
in here, it looked like it was pouring again. “Yeah well he came on like
molasses and that shit is hard to choke down, you know?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He smiled slightly and nodded. “Yeah I get it, but you have
to try too.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I rolled my eyes nodding. “Yeah I know.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mike sat down next to me and touched my face so that I would
look at him. “Don’t you think it’s time? Time to just face this and move on, I
mean, you have been carrying this heavy weight of what happened for so long.
Look at what it’s done to you so far. Look at where it’s gotten you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sighed, not wanting to agree with him at all. It’s made me
strong and able to handle the simple bullshit of life without falling apart.
No, it wasn’t time. I smirked at him in a suggestive way. “You know I was going
to call you anyways.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mike frowned at me for avoiding the subject and sighed. “Oh
yeah? Why?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I shrugged leaning closer to him, biting my lip a little.
“Well Shrinky in there forced me to take a shower. All manhandling me as he
washed me, but when he was done I thought, well now that I am clean, I need a
good fuck.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mike swallowed audibly and I grinned. “So I thought of all
the fun we had in high school and maybe we could use this parole officer thing
to our advantage.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My hand slid up his leg and he shot out of the seat as if
someone jabbed his ass with a needle. “Whoa, whoa, whoa there Swan. You know we
can’t do anything like that. I will be thrown off this case and you will get
some hard ass. Trust me; there are a bunch of them in the department.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sighed and laid back in the chair looking up at him. “Yeah
I actually saw one the other day; he cuffed his girl just to sit in a group
meeting. This chick wasn’t even like psycho or anything. In fact she reminded
me of the Chief’s Talo from back in the day.” I snorted. “I like you a lot
Mike, but if you cuff me for no reason, I will kick your ass.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He grinned at me and offered a hand so I could stand. I took
it and we headed down stairs. “You hungry?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I shook my head violently and covered my belly. “Oh god no.
Shrinky drugged me with Ativan last night and that is still fucking up my
stomach today.” I explained, letting him lead me to the porch. He stopped me by
the railing and turned me around to face him again. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I watched as he dropped to one knee, checking my ankle
monitor. He was already different in the few seconds it took to get outside. He
was tense and had a pissed off air about him now. I could see the muscle in his
neck ticking. I frowned at him when he stood up, poking the muscle with my
index finger. “Why so serious?” I joked.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He shook his head running his fingers through his hair again
before pulling a new pack of smokes out of his jacket pocket and handing them
to me. “Here I got you these last night; I figured that you would need them
today.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I took them, but was still looking at his tense face. “Thank
you, but that isn’t going to make me forget I just asked you what was wrong.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Okay so let
me get this right, in less then 24 hours that you have been in this house, you
were drugged, manhandled and physically washed and then berated for not coming
to grips with watching your family get murdered right in front of you?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I thought it over and nodded as I pulled a cigarette out and
held my hand out for a lighter I knew he had. “Yeah that is about the size of
it.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mike handed me the lighter and rubbed his face. “Look, I am
going to have to go up and speak with this kid before I go. Are you going to be
okay out here?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I nodded shooing him along. “Yeah I am a big girl, I can
handle being on my own out here for a while.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He put his hands up in surrender and headed for the door.
“Alright, alright, I am right inside if you need me.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sat in the old rocker I was in the night before and looked
over the railing at the heaps of water falling down today. It would have been a
beautiful day for a walk, if allowed to move more then 200 feet from the
grounds that is. If Mike kills my shrink, I wonder if I will be given another,
or they will just give up on me all together. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was talking to my left, arguing really between two
guys and some chick. I stared openly, enjoying the entertainment when I
realized it was the shy chick and her over zealous parole officer, but who was…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Jacob Black?” I said out loud before I could even stop
myself. The shy chick and her parole officer took the opportunity to talk
amongst themselves and the other man turned and looked at me. There wasn’t much
time spent on my face before I could practically see the light bulb switch on.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Isabella Swan, as I live and breathe, holy shit it’s you.”
He said stepping forward holding out his arms. I went straight for him hugging
him tightly and wrapping my legs around his waist laughing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Oh Jakie! What the hell are you doing here?” I mumbled into
his neck, relishing the good memories that came from his embrace.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He grinned, pulling back some, but still holding me. “My
sister is here, I was just visiting.” He shook his head as if still trying to
comprehend my appearance in front of him. He finally set me on my feet again
and I grinned up at him. “Well damn girl, time has done you very good.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I grinned spinning as if I weren’t in old gray sweats and a
white tank. I looked him over and bit my lip. “I could definitely say the same
for you. Damn Black, I’ll bet you got either a brothel of women or a wife with
forty kids.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He shook is head, taking my hand and leading me along the
deck for a walk. “No, actually, since dad died, I have just taken over as Chief;
I am also on the police force, so I haven’t really had time to have either.”</div>
<h1>
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">My
jaw dropped and I looked over at him as we walked. “A police officer? Jacob
Black, you are not a police officer, how do you live with yourself knowing what
we used to do?” I lowered my voice and leaned closer to him <span class="spell">conspiratorially.
</span>“We used to break into the school so that we could get out of the rain,
smoke weed in the nap room, and fuck on those little mats they had there!”</span></h1>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He laughed hard and coming to a stop when we ran out of
porch to walk on. He turned and faced me smirking mischievously. “Well only I
and you know about those things, I could always just off you and the secrets
will always be safe.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I grinned licking my lips. “Or we can go do them together
again.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He leaned in close to my ear, speaking in a breathy whisper
that made me shiver. “You don’t have another cherry I can pop for you and I
don’t have the rabbit anymore.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I put a hand to his chest to steady myself and laughed when
he moved back some wiggling his brows. “Yeah well I popped your cherry that
night too, baby.” I said feigning a glare. “Besides, we did it in more places
then the rabbit and the school.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jake gave a smirk and shrugged. “Yeah well, you gott’a be
sure right?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I laughed hard. “Be sure that the virginity status was well
and gone?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Exactly.” He said laughing with me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Where the fuck did you go, Swan?” Mikes voice cracked like
a whip making me jump. I turned fast, feeling guilty for having told him I
would be all right and then wandering off. “You were supposed to stay by the
door, no to go wandering off with random people.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jake put a hand up in soothing gesture and stepped forward
some. “Relax Newton,
we are old friends and don’t act like I am some random person, we work for the
same police station.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mike narrowed his eyes at Jake and shook his head. “No, you
are no better then a PI with his dick in his hand, I am a parole officer and
you wandered off with my charge.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now Jake narrowed his eyes and I knew shit was going to get
bad. I came between them, looking at Mike. “Hey, hey its okay Mike, we were
just talking and I am sorry about the wandering off thing. I won’t do it again,
okay?” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mike looked at me and grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards
the front of the house again. I heard Jake protest, but Mike was too pissed to
listen. He walked me right back into the house and started for my room again.
“If you are going to make it out of here with out an extension to your sentence
or getting kicked out for non-compliance, then you need to listen to what I
tell you.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“He was an old friend, Mike.” I said, finally getting pissed
and jerking my arm away. “What is your problem?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mike moves us back into the upstairs common room and pushed
me against the wall, putting his hands on either side of my head. “You and I
are old friends too Swan and I don’t think he would give two shits if you got
sent to prison.” He seethed his face close to mine. “I do, however, care. I
care a lot and if you get mixed in with another residences family member, you
are just asking for trouble, Swan.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I frowned, nodding some. “But—”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mike shook his head. “No, no buts’. You stay away from him
and any other guy, Swan, I mean it. Normally you don’t even have to ask for
trouble, it just finds you, so don’t go searching it out this time. Okay?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I crossed my arms and sighed. “Fine, alright, I get it.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He nodded and stepped back taking my arm again, more gently
this time and leading me back to my room. Jared stood when we walked in and
almost nervously moved his hands about, seemingly unsure to do with them. Mike
leaned close to my ear. “Be nice, I have to go to the station, I will be back
around dinner.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I nodded, watching him leave before turning back to look at
Jared, who still looked unsure. “I… apologize for my behavior before.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I nodded and shrugged a shoulder. “Get it, but lets pretend
I am a blushing virgin and you need to take it a bit slow, alright?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He looked away rubbing his neck and I narrowed my eyes
grinning slowly. “What’s wrong, you act like you’re the blushing virgin.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He didn’t say anything, just kept looking at everything but
me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I gasped. “No shit! Really?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He rolled his eyes and gave a small smirk shrugging. “I am a
very dedicated student.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I came into the room more, sitting on the bed. “Not even
some heavy grinding? A blow job? Are you some kind of religious freak saving
yourself for marriage?” I gasped a little being dramatic. “Are you gay?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He sighed running his fingers through his hair. “I really
don’t think—”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“If you want me to trust you this cannot be a one way
street.” I said calmly, void of any thing other then a matter of fact tone.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His hands went up in surrender. “Alright, alright.” He said
immediately. “No, nothing other then kissing and no, I am not a religious
freak. I am not gay. I was seriously just a dedicated student.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I couldn’t help it, I cracked up laughing, which of course
mad him frown. We heard Sue down stairs ringing something the equivalent to a
cow bell to signal everyone for lunch and I couldn’t help but think, this man
was no longer someone I saw as a hurdle, but now I saw him as a challenge. I
will get this man laid, even if I had to do it myself. </div>
The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-10399925205267035702014-02-14T10:35:00.002-08:002014-02-14T10:35:51.369-08:00POSTED: The Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I started to aimlessly walk around the house after breakfast
because quite frankly my room was depressing to me. I tried to open the window to
let in some fresh air in to get the addict smell out of the room but once I
started to yank at it the old wood started to splinter and crack so I gave up
before I ended up breaking it and getting blamed for trying to escape.<br />
<br />
There was no TV allowed in the rooms and I had no books so really all I could
do was sit on the ledge of my window. Watching everyone walking in and out of
the house leading a normal life It almost gave me hope but then I reminded
myself how I got into this mess and I was back to being sure normal is a life
I'll never have again. Once you lose it the way I did you'll never look
at life the same again.<br />
<br />
All my clothes were still trashed around on the floor. I had absolutely no
intention of picking them up anytime soon so I picked an outfit from the pile
and stepped over the rest changing for a second time out of boredom. I
had to kick a pair of jeans clear across the room to open my door and walk out. A lot of the girls seemed happy, most of
them hung out together. The whole house seemed filled with laughter. I actually
liked the light mood of the house today as I explored the different areas.<br />
<br />
"Don't be afraid to show your soul. No one can take your words from you.
It's the greatest power you can have." A man passionately spoke to a small
class of women. I stopped to glance in trying my hardest not to be seen or draw
any attention to myself. It must have been some sort of class for
writing. I looked around the walls seeing a bunch of inspirational quotes
scattered around. ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Be Strong. Because things
will get better, things might be stormy now but it never rains forever</i>.'
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">'Remind yourself its ok not to be
perfect' 'When the sun goes down the stars will come out</i>'<br />
<br />
"Hello there, Would you like to join us?" A gentle voice caught my attention;
I hadn't even noticed I wondered into the class memorized by the quotes.
Shaking my head I started to stumble to leave but the gentleman quickly handed
me a binder of paper and a pack of pens. I smiled thanking him with my eyes he
nodded going back to speaking to his class not pushing me to do something I was not ready for. That gesture
alone actually made me want to do it.<br />
<br />
I ended up finding a small patio off to the side of the house. It looked unused
and abandoned. I could almost hear the chattering of the ghostly memories of
it. As I approached it with caution looking for do not enter signs I noticed
there was a beaten up broken chair off in a corner. I pulled it closer to the
railing taking a seat watching the rain drip off the chipped beams, Listening to it dig and tap everything it
touched. I closed my eyes for a moment feeling as if I was back at home on a rainy
day. The rain was inspirational to me, it made my hand pick up and glide across
the first blank sheet of paper.<br />
<br />
It all started to pour out of me; all my thoughts and fears flooded this piece
of paper. Everything I wanted to say, but couldn't, have found its way out. I
might have been crying as I wrote but I was starting to feel a lot better.<br />
<br />
The familiar sound of muddy boots breaking twigs approaching me made me
automatically shut the booklet quickly smearing away a few stay tears I saw Sgt
Lahote soaking wet letting out a breath relief when he seen me.
Everything about him seemed calm, his eyes stayed on me; a hand reached for the
railing and he took one long stride of a step still midway in the rain.<br />
<br />
When his words finally found there voice I knew he was upset. I just had no
idea why. Since last night I have followed all rules, even ate whatever it was
that they called breakfast. Maybe Lahote just hated me for some reason. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"You didn't even last a full 24 hours Black." I frowned
not have a single clue what he was talking about I just looked away to ignore
him. I didn't want to put up a fight today, I was tired and just wanted to
relax here and enjoy the rain. "Do I look like a joke? Is this all a joke
to you?" His voice crept closer I turned to see him towering over me his
voice was angered but his face screamed worried. Water dripped from his hair
rolling down his face to his chin onto my jeans.<br />
<br />
My hand had a sudden urge to reach up cupping his cheek with the palm of my
hand wanting to comfort him. His eyes closed for only a split second moving
quickly away from me. I stood up leaving my pad of paper on the chair. "No
I don't think this is a joke." My foot moved forward his stepped back.<br />
<br />
"You don't get to do this." Lahote muttered putting his hands up like
a shield from me. A hand threaded through my hair confused as hell.
"Do what? I haven't done nanything" Lahote’s eyes narrowed at me
stiffing a laugh.<br />
<br />
"No? You really want to sit here and lie to my face?" Blinking rapidly
I shook my head offended. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"What?" I spat out turning to grab my pad of paper
off the chair. "Are you high Sgt Lahote? How am I lying?" I
sounded like a wounded animal the way he accusing me doing whatever he thinks I
did actually hurt me considering I spent all day trying to do right. I even had
plans to apologize for my behavior last night but I guess that was something he
didn't want to hear either.<br />
<br />
"You really are like the rest aren't you?" The question was
rhetorical and I wasn't really sure it was directed to me but still I snapped.
I don't know what he thought he knew about me but I was about to show him a
side of me not many have seen.<br />
<br />
"STOP SAYING THAT!" I yelled shoving him in the chest not giving a fuck
who he was or what kind of control he held over me. "I have done nothing
wrong! I woke up, I ate, I went to my one on one and I stayed here!" The
desperation that leaked between my words scared me. I cared what he
thought and I needed for him to believe me for someone to believe me.<br />
<br />
"Seriously!? You where here all day long?" He laughed out in
total disregards for what I was saying as he pulled his phone out putting it on
speaker. "Hey, what time was it that you said you seen Rachel Black?"
He asked giving me a hard glare. I stood staring at the phone hugging the stupid
pad of paper to me as I listened.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Ugh fuck I don't know man, like 3. I'm pretty sure it
was her." Lahote brought the phone to his ear turning speaker off. "Sure and pretty sure are to different
things did you see her or not!" He snapped keeping a close eye on
me. I gritted my teeth shaking my head hating everything about this
probation officer. He had it out for me that much was clear to me. When
he hung up his eyes found mine. I could see an apology forming but I
didn't want to hear it I slapped him instead, as hard as I could then sprinted
off the deck into to the rain trying to make it into the house so I could try
and call Jacob.<br />
<br />
I hit an icy patch of grass slipping and falling on my ass I screamed angrily
up into the sky throwing the notepad getting soaking wet not even trying to get
up. I wanted to give up, doesn’t anyone get that? Lahote ran after me almost
falling when trying to come to a stop. His hand grabbed me by my forearm
yanking me up effortlessly pushing me against the wall pinning my arms above me
head while I tried with everything I had to fight him off.<br />
<br />
"GET OFF ME! You're the reason I even want to use to begin with!" I screamed
in his face trying to knee him but he kicked my legs open moving between them
so I couldn't move. My chest was rapidly rising and falling against his, I was
unable to move. I had to give up fighting back. The deeper his eyes
looked into mine the softer his grip became, I could have wiggled out of it and
ran but I just started at him instead.<br />
<br />
"So you admit you want to use?" He asked while his grip started to tense
I sniffled unable to really tell if I was crying or if it was just the rain
falling onto my face. "I have urges when I have bad days. In rehab they
say they don't always go away." I muttered beginning openly honest with
him, his head dropped letting out a muffled sigh. "I didn't go looking for
it." He glanced up letting go of my wrist I guess trusting I wouldn't run.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"You wanted to use because of the way I treated
you?" His question had a sad ring to it I felt bad but nodded. "Fuck, what the hell is wrong with me. This has never
happened before, why now?"<br />
<br />
I had no idea what he was talking about but I still answered him. "You are
not listening to me. I know I am a job and a piece of shit for getting myself
into all this but your acting like you know all my moves."<br />
<br />
Sgt Lahote rubbed the stubble on his chin that looked like he hadn't shaved
this morning; actually now that I look at him he had bags under his eyes and
looked worn down. "What’s going on out here?" I jumped hearing
my brother’s voice automatically running into his dry arms that he wrapped
around me tightly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Jakie!" I thought you weren't coming for a
while!" He grinned down at me pushing the wet hair out of my face
before turning his glare to Lahote who stood silent over thinking about the conversation we were having.<br />
<br />
I looked down not sure what to say when I noticed Jacob assisting the situation.
"Why are your wrists red?" Jacob put a finger under my chin to look
at him but his eyes where already on Lahote.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I didn't want to get him in trouble. " I fell on an ice
patch."<br />
<br />
"No tell him the truth, Rachel. I accused her of trying to score after one
of my CI's mistaking ID her. She ran off I chased after her." Jacob put a hand
up to stop Lahote from talking, my hand tugged on his arm to try to stop him
but he shrugged me off. "That's doesn't give you any fucking right to lay
a hand on her!" Jacob barked out both of them eying each other.<br />
<br />
"Jacob, I deserved it. I slapped him." I ran between the two of
them.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
"She is my charge Jacob, She gets no special treatment." Lahote and Jacob
both ignored me even with both hands out on each of there chests. Jacob pulled
me to him looking down at me, trying to collapse any anger. "Why would you
hit him Talo! For fucks sake what is wrong with you?" I shook my head
losing my voice, hating to see him like that with me and not having an answer.<br />
<br />
I heard Sgt Lahote sigh before forcing himself to speak. “I deserved it Lt. I
accused her without making sure the ID was positive. It was a misunderstanding
on both our parts and she was the one to eat the consequence." Jacob
lifted a brow in his direction narrowing his eyes. "And what about Sgt
Lahote? Are you going to be baring any consequence for her wrist?"<br />
<br />
"Jacob, stop it!" I finally was able to speak up above a whisper. "You're
blowing this whole thing up! This is why I have a hard time talking to you,
please calm down!" Jacob turned to look at me frowning cupping my face in
his hands letting out a loud defeated sigh.<br />
<br />
"Jacob Black!" His head shot up like a dog hearing a whistle
and he turned seeing someone behind him. I didn’t even try to see who it
was. I avoided looking at Lahote again but still felt bad for my actions. <br />
<br />
"I'm sorry." We both said at the same time making us both lightly laugh.
I shook my head walking back towards him, as he tugged me under the bit of
shelter there was from the rain. "I never gave you a chance, and for that
I am sorry. It's just…"<br />
<br />
"It’s just that I am a case, or a charge as you put it, I get it. You have
to look at me a certain way to do your job. You're not my friend or therapist,
you're the law. A line shouldn't be crossed, I am sorry."<br />
Lahote looked at me, his eyes seemed to be searching mine and when he didn't correct me I left it as it was.<br />
<br />
Jacob made his way back over to us shaking his head and ranting to himself about
all parole officers being dick heads and he tossed an arm around my shoulder
walking me back inside and to my room. "Get dressed in dry clothes and
meet me down stairs Talo." He shut the door when he walked out, I peeled
my drenched shirt off glancing out the window I seen Sue running off after
Lahote who was about to get in his car. He was shaking his head and she looked like
she was pleading with him to come inside. Sue of course won and Lahote came
back to the house.<br />
<br />
I quickly changed, running a brush through my hair trying to get the knots out,
wondering what that was all about. I was sure it was about me and that he would
also be waiting for me with Jacob but when I got down stairs, my PO was nowhere to be found. Jacob stood when I jumped off
the last step smiling at me. "I thought you might want to see Dad since you haven't been since the funeral." Jacob sounded hopeful but that
was the last thing I wanted to do right now.<br />
<br />
"I can't." I mumbled like a child avoiding any eye contact with him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
"You can. You're allowed to go it will make you feel better I promise."
He started to walk towards me but I shook my head. "NO Jacob, no I do not
want to go." I moved up a few steps I could tell he was confused as
he tried to come closer to me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"You need to come see him, he was a damn good father
and you need to understand he is gone." Jacob tried to voice reason but I
sat on the steps refusing to leave with him. "Talo. What happened why are
you being like this? Dad never did anything to hurt you." Jacob knelt down
in front of me speaking with caution caressing my cheek. "I know that. I
am very aware that his is dead. You wouldn't understand." A barely audible
whisper left my lips. Jacob sighed sitting next to me but I inched away
not wanting him to touch me. He sighed and inched away to give me space. "I'm just not ready ok? Please try to understand."<br />
<br />
"I'm trying. I have been trying to understand since this whole thing happened
but you won't talk to me, you wont open up to me like you used to. "Jacob
complained sounding more frustrated I sat quiet trying to find a way out of
this.<br />
<br />
"Maybe it's just not easy to talk about for her without the emotion over
taking her. Since the hospital she has people in her face every couple hours on
her ass about how she feels and why she feels it. I think Rachel just needs a
breather." I was completely shocked to see Sgt Lahote standing there, and
even more surprised when Jacob stood up and agreed with him. Jacob kissed my
cheek looked at me a long moment and smiled.<br />
<br />
"I'll stop by soon and I am always a phone call away." Jacob said to me
but gave Lahote a warning look just as Sue passed by trying not to notice
us but I saw her grin suspiciously when she rounded the corner.<br />
I smiled and nodded at him, Sgt Lahote took his seat clasping his hands
together leaning in on his elbows. I didn't know if I should get up or say
thank you.<br />
<br />
"I wasn't being fair to you. You are supposed to trust me and be able to
come to me if and when you get yourself into a jam. I guess you remind me of
someone I once knew a long time ago and I took it out on you. I said no special
treatment but I shouldn't treat you worst either." When he spoke he didn't
look at me he was staring at the wall witch made me frown.<br />
<br />
It was as if no one could really see me anymore. I felt invisible. I wasn't
even worth to be looked in the eyes because of a few bad choices. I was
never one to sit back and let others treat me badly; I always made sure I was
herd. So you tell me why now I feel like I don't deserve to be heard or seen for that matter. My arms crossed as I exhaled
a sigh look through the stairs railing to the floor.<br />
<br />
"You know I remember you in school, such a loud ass little girl." Paul
laughed making my side glance over at him. It had been a while ago, but I still
did not remembering seeing him around. "I am not a little girl anymore.
But I am still loud. “I snorted a laugh at the double meaning. “You sure the
fuck did grow up.” His deepened tone made me blush and look away fully from
him.<br />
<br />
"I don't remember seeing you, I am sure I would have noticed you." I finally
looked over with crimson cheeks earning a grin from Lahote.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
"No? I was the jock. Football, basketball..." He grinned trying to
get me to remember I laughed covering my mouth nodding. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Oh yeah you're the older boy to play with little Jakie!"
I couldn't help but to laugh hard teasing him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
"Whoa hold on missy, we did not 'play' we worked on cars"
He was laughing but I could tell his ego was kind of wounded.<br />
<br />
"Same thing" I laughed harder at the look on his face, I laughed so hard
my side started to hurt. I couldn't even remember when the last time I laughed
this hard was.<br />
<br />
"I don't know why you’re laughing so hard. For being a native, down to earth
Talo, you were snotty as hell." I smiled trying to act offended. He went
on making me smile wider. "Like oh my god, he actually thought I would
date a guy like him. Yeah. Right. I totally laughed at him; I mean I do feel
like bad but just eww." His mocking tone and over the top
girly hand gestures made me laugh so hard I had to try to get up to pee but
just couldn't fully stand. Lahote laughed but not as hard, he was just sitting
there<br />
looking at me with a hard chuckle.<br />
<br />
"I don't think I sounded like that back then." I tried to defend myself,
but I knew I was guilty. Lahote wined at me when my laughter finally calmed down. "Naw, you where the cool chick, girls wanted to be you
and boys wanted to date you. No shame in that."<br />
<br />
"And now?" I asked with a half a smile wanting an honest answer.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoBodyText" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Lahote
smiled leaning against the wall looking at me seriously before answering.
"And now you're going to find your true self and learn to live a healthy
life. No more hurting yourself. You have a lot of people who care."<br />
<br />
My shoulders shrugged giving him a forced smile just as the lunch bell (which
was Sue, literally ringing a bell) went off. Lahote grunted standing up.
"I got to go check in on other cases and you have chores after lunch. Call
me phone day or night if needed. If not I'll see you tomorrow. Stay out of
trouble and don't keep so closed off. Talk to people. Make a friend. That's an
order."<br />
<br />
I stood up watching up hesitantly turn to leave. I was glad I got to see him as
a person for a few minutes and not as Mr. Robocop. I rubbed my eyes ready for a
nap but did what was expected of me instead of what I wanted and to be honest I
think that was really a first for me.</div>
The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-7277269801686637682014-02-10T15:23:00.002-08:002014-02-13T00:18:57.115-08:00POSTED: The Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-53MQSkuSl7w/UvlfCVZHEzI/AAAAAAAAFYI/gkaRfuurzjI/s1600/ace20e575daf812c710d6dea98c26d53.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-53MQSkuSl7w/UvlfCVZHEzI/AAAAAAAAFYI/gkaRfuurzjI/s1600/ace20e575daf812c710d6dea98c26d53.jpg" height="192" width="400" /></a></div>
<b><i>(Signed: </i><i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">RealEyesRealizeRealLiez = Leah )</span></i><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span></u></b><br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Leah - Chapter 1</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“All rise!” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Like an army of soldiers following the commanding officer’s
order, every person that had filed into the mahogany-finished courtroom rose to
their feet, myself included, and waited for the judge to make his grand
appearance. Aside from the creaking of the floorboards that move in time with
each orange-clad woman shifting the weight on her anxious feet and the ticking
of seconds going by on the antique clock, the oversized room is silent. Eerily
silent. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The last thing I want to do right now is make a spectacle of
myself by looking around, especially considering the friendly reminder that my
court-appointed lawyer had given me, but as the saying goes, curiosity killed
the cat. My large, chocolate brown eyes scan over the shape of each and every
woman, strategically seated in the rows ahead of me. Looking to the row across
the main aisle to see at least two other females that, like me, must be deemed
“volatile threats to society” judging by the chain around their waists to secure
their handcuffs to the matching set of cuffs on their ankles, I silently wonder
what exactly they did to land themselves in restraints identical to mine.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My eyes’ wandering was stopped abruptly when the ornate door
that leads to the judge’s chamber opened. The silhouette of a large, uniformed
man cut off the light, which streamed through the door’s opening. He wears a
stern look as he takes in all the faces of the room before he steps aside and
takes his post next to the door. His face is familiar to me, as is one of the
guards I’ve dealt with more than once during my stay in the adjoined prison.
Let’s just say I’m on a first name basis with a few guards. In a stark contrast
to the burly size of his predecessor, the judge steps through the doorway dwarfed
by the room’s size. The petite, white-haired man who wears a friendly, even
grandfatherly expression, though he can’t be more than his mid-fifties moves
swiftly up the three steps to his podium. The vibe he puts off is one of
authority, which leads me to believe this guy is going to be a hardass on all
of us gathered today. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Court is now in session,” the guard, who gave the command
to stand up and pay attention earlier, began, “The Honorable Judge Walsh
presiding.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
“You may be seated.” Walsh’s tone carried all the authority of his robe, and
then some. I quickly realized in the time it took me to go from standing to
parking my ass on the hard wooden bench that this may not be much of an easy,
quick, in-and-out type of progress check proceedings I was hoping. With those
four simple words strung together the bailiff called the name of the first
defendant here for her review. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
First was the reading of the charges, then her plea,
followed by an absurdly boring rendition of Walsh reading her the riot act before
laying down her sentence. A newbie to the system, from what I gather. That’s
one going right back to the prison food and cell block. Damn. Without any
hesitation, she was led through the door to the left of the room, which from my
angle I can see leads back down the LED-lighted hallway of grey concrete
cinderblocks, directly back to the transfer area of La Push County Correctional
Facility. Victim ‘Numero Uno’, as my mind decided to name her, wasn’t even
fully through the door with her lawyer before the next case number was called. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
For more than an hour I allowed myself to space out, not
paying any mind or attention to the many cases being heard while I, as well as
the other VTS’s wait in our body shackles at the back of the room. Perhaps
spacing out isn’t the appropriate description of the journey my mind had taken
me on, though. Reflecting would be more of an apt descriptor, one that even
Judge Walsh would approve of. Shit, my lawyer, which was pathetically assigned
to help me out, would even be proud.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Over the past eighteen months of staring at the inside of my
cell, with the exception of my counseling sessions twice a week, the phrase
“reflect on your choices” was used more than I would like to think. It was
sickening really, but the longer and the harder I fought against it, the more
my reflective thoughts encroached. Just as they have done for uncounted months
now, as I let my mind wander in an effort to pass the time until my case was
called, my reflections took a hold of my mind and wouldn’t grant me release. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was the loud, wood on wood, bang of the gavel followed by
the judge calling out “The court will take a brief recess!” that finally blew a
hole through the wall that had enveloped my mind and caused me to jump, sitting
straight up in my seat fully alert as I looked around. With a heavy thud, my
shackled feet fell to the floor after my lawyer kicked them from their propped
position on the back of the bench in front of us and hauled me by my underarm
to stand on my feet with him while Walsh made his exit. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Jesus Christ, Cherney! You mind?” My tone clipped as I spun
on my lawyer. Shaking my cuffed wrists in irritation and to prove a bit of a
point, I continued, “They don’t body cuff just anyone. Clearly there’s a
fucking reason I’m deemed unsafe, you asshat.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ah, Ms. Clearwater. I’ve dealt with you long enough to know
what I can get away with.” I watched my lawyer actually roll his eyes at me
with his all-knowing smirk as he released his grip on my upper arm and gestured
for me to walk past him out of the row. “Court’s in recess, Ms. Clearwater…”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Leah.” I quickly corrected him. He claims to know what he
can get away with after working with me for so long, and yet the moron can’t
seem to get my name right.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Fine. The court is in recess, Leah,” the tone of his voice almost
brought me close to salivating. Almost. The velvety texture of his authority
and knowledge of the situation made me feel like putty. “When Judge Walsh
returns there are three cases left to be heard,” he continued to explain while
carefully guiding me out of the courtroom to get a drink from the water
fountain, “Your case could be the first or the last. I have no way of knowing.
But just the same, we need to be prepared for your plea of guilty.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No contest, Ben. That’s my plea. No Contest.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We’ve already discussed this, Leah. If you plead no
contest, you’re not getting out. At least by admitting guilt, you show that you
acknowledge…”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No.” If not for the chains holding my cuffed wrists in
position, I would have folded my arms like the petulant child like whom I’m
acting. The sigh and the way that Ben pressed his forefinger and thumb in to
his eyes and rubbed told me just how unimpressed he is with me right now. But
fuck it. This is my life, I know damn well what I did and more importantly,
what I did not do; therefore, I will plead as I want. However, I know my time
is ticking away before court is back in session and as it stands right now, I
may just be going back in without a lawyer if I don’t at least pretend to play
the game by his rules. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My options are simple: If I plead Guilty, I can either be
locked back up which is not a fucking option in my mind, or I could be let go
on ‘Time served’ with an extensive record to my name; or, if I plead No
Contest, well, my options are most likely the same, but I won’t be admitting
guilt to anything, just stating that I do not contest the charges against me.
I’m not much of a gambler under normal circumstances, but I’ll say what I need
to in order to get the hell out of prison and have my freedom back. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’ll plead Guilty if you swear to me that it gets me back
on the fucking outside, Ben. Free. No bullshit.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The victorious smile turned smirk Ben wears as he slides his
hand off his face has me rolling my eyes this time. Arrogant bastard. “A guilty
plea is your best option, Leah.” Right on cue and before I had any time
to ask further questions, the courtroom door swung open with a guard coming to
announce one minute until the recess was over and court would resume. Ben
guided me by the arm, far more gently and even gentlemanly this time, back
through the doors and in to the room where my fate will linger in the balance
of the next unknown amount of time. Minutes? An hour? Though I’m almost certain
it can’t possibly take that long, I know it will feel like an eternity. But,
then again, what’s one more hour after spending the past 13,140 in a prison
cell for something I don’t really think was bad enough to warrant any time
behind bars? This time Ben didn’t stop me and shove me in to one of the very
back bench seats, but rather he directed me up to the front bench, directly
behind the half-wall that separates the viewing area of the courtroom from
where the defendants sit at the table before the judge. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“All rise!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I involuntarily let out an audible groan at the announcement
for us to, once again, stand after I’d just planted myself. It didn’t go
unnoticed, both Ben and Judge Walsh shot me a look that told me of the
inappropriateness of my protest. I could feel the heat build in my cheeks and
the flesh of the inside of my lower lip give way to where I’ve chewed it raw
enough to bleed. “Sorry,” was all that I managed to whisper to the still
glaring attorney at my side. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Court is now back in session. The honorable Judge Walsh
will now hear Case Number 753401.” The court’s henchman, more commonly known as
the bailiff, called everyone to wake up and pay attention then scanned the
three faces of my fellow waiting defendants and me. His look screamed with
annoyance as he announced the number again, “753401.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ben cleared his throat loudly beside me and gave a flick of
his wrist to make the back of his hand connect with my elbow. “What the hell
was that for?” I questioned before I was able to place the weird feeling
of being watched and it all made sense. The bailiff called out the number for a
third and final time, clearly irritated, with his hand growing whiter from the
force of his grip on the baton attached to his belt and I snapped straight.
Blowing out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding I shuffled my way up the
short distance of the main aisle and moved in to my position in the defendant’s
chair with Ben taking his stance next to me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ah, Ms. Clearwater, we meet again.” Every fiber in my body
was waiting to flip Walsh off for his attempt at humor. Of course we are
meeting again, the bastard is the one that sentenced me all those eighteen
months ago and promised this progress check. It all clicked in my mind as to
why he looked familiar upon entering the room earlier. “My apologies, for
keeping you waiting, it will just be a few more moments.” The look of shock and
disbelief was painfully plastered on my face. I can feel it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My eyes swung to Ben’s face looking scrunched with his own
confusion, frantically flipping through his folder of papers in front of him
for some sort of explanation as to what was going on. This is apparently new to
my lawyer, as well. A chorus of loud, rambunctious laughter broke the confused
silence causing all people present in this courtroom to reel around and see a
handful of bulky, over-muscled, casually dressed and armed men storm in through
the large double doors and take a seat. One of them caught my eye but I quickly
diverted my attention from him before he could recognize me. “I’m glad you
could join us, gentleman. Please, take your seats. Court is already in
session.” The authoritative, don’t fuck with me tone was back in full force as
Judge Walsh spoke to the crew of newcomers. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I took the opportunity, while Walsh was reprimanding the men
for their lack of respect for authority and the judicial process, to lean in to
Ben’s side. “Who are they?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ms. Clearwater, your questions, should you have any, are to
be directed to the Court.” Shit. I swallowed the lump in my throat that had
just formed with my acceptance of the fact that Judge Walsh is not in a
forgiving mood today, and what that could very well mean for me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Your Honor, my client would like to enter a plea of…”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Walsh’s hand flew in to the air silencing Ben declaration,
and it remained there for a second asserting him as the all-powerful. A moment
of respectful silence later, Walsh calmly folded his fingers together and
leaned forward speaking directly to me as he did so, even though his words
targeted the man trying to fulfill his duties and represent me to the best of
his ability. “Mr. Cherney, your client, Ms. Clearwater, is not on trial here.
I’m not sure you’ve heard, but she has been incarcerated for the last eighteen
months following her guilty plea, sir.” There was a quiet rumbling coming from
the few gathered behind us in the gallery, one of whom I could hear quietly
laughing, but my attention was squarely on Judge I Am The Law. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yes, Your Honor,” I could hear the figurative frog stuck
firmly in Ben’s throat and in my mind, I picture him as a young boy hanging his
head after being scolded by his mother. “I understand that, Your Honor.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Very well then, Mr. Cherney. Then you will kindly allow me
to continue doing my job with no further interruptions. Now, Ms. Clearwater,” I
could see his lips purse as he flipped to the correct page in front of him
before continuing. “According to my notes here from the corrections officer,
you have shown minimal improvement and a concerning lack of remorse for your
chemical substance abuse.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I opened my mouth to speak out my protest that the reporting
officer has had it out to get me since the day I was sent in, but once again
Walsh’s hand went up to silence any protests.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Based on these reports, I’ve no choice to deem you unfit
for society at this time. However, I do not feel another stay in incarceration
is in order. Therefore, I am sentencing you to no less than two years at the La
Push Home for Women, where your assigned parole officer will closely monitor
you. You will submit to regular, random drug screening, and you will attend
private counseling sessions with the court appointed counselor twice a week for
the duration, also assigned to your case.” The quirk in his eyebrow as our eyes
locked was a dare for me to open my mouth and protest. It was a dare I couldn’t
pass up.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“A HOME?! You have got to be fucking kidding me!” A hand was
tightly clasped over my mouth as another strong arm pulled me back tight
against the solid rock of a body to which it belongs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We’ll take it. Thank you, Your Honor.” Ben’s voice was
right above my ear. He was thanking the white-haired bastard? My body thrashed
as best it could despite the body cuffs restricting my movements to minimal. As
easily as if I weigh no more than a piece of paper, Ben picked my fighting
frame up from the floor and carried me out of the courtroom, shushing next to
my ear to calm me. “Easy there, tiger.” Our movement never stopped until Ben
had thrown my ass in to yet another wooden bench, in another smaller courtroom,
identical to the one in the courtroom I was just physically removed from. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My breathing comes out in ragged, labored breaths through my
clench teeth. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How the hell could this
happen</i>? Ben assured me it was one of two things, back to prison, or home
free. There has never been the option for a halfway house. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Never</i>. A home is worse than thrown back in my cell. The tease of
having freedom at the threshold of my door and not having the ability to bask
in it is a worse fate than living in the cellblock. Ben crouched in front of me
to be at my eye level and I have to remind myself not to attack him, at least
not here, still so close to being locked away. The large door behind me opened
and quickly closed, the room instantly filling with the sound of heavy footsteps
and the jingling of metal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m able to release her from the restraints, if you feel
your client is sedate enough to handle it, Mr. Cherney.” Remaining still,
apart from my eyes shooting a look from the corner of my eyes, I work to keep
my breathing even. Ben nods his head and motions towards my cuffs before
standing and stepping aside. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Taking his place a guard eyes me skeptically and makes slow,
careful work of undoing all the metal locks, starting with my right ankle then
my left, and moving with practiced movements to the cuffs at my wrists before
finally removing the chain-link belt that has served to anchor them all to my
body. A sigh of relief blows past my lips feeling the freedom of not being
chained like a rabid dog, for the first time in far too long. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Thank you.” My voice laced with the sincerity and gratitude
I feel deep down. I turned in my seat watching the guard leave the room,
whistling a tune on his departure. My hands took to rubbing at the red marks
ringing my boney wrists. “You never said anything about the possibility of a
halfway house, Ben.” Pushing myself to stand up, there is a physical weight
lifted from me knowing that I am not going back to my 4x6 foot cell and
wrought-iron bed. Stretching my limbs in a way I’ve not been allowed in too
long, my feet begin pacing the floor of the main aisle.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The La Push Home for Women will be a good fit for you,
Leah. All you have to do is follow the Home rules, and cooperate with your
parole officer and counselor. Then you’re home free. You’ll see that it’s a far
less horrible fate than going back to prison.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Right. Cooperate with some steroid-driven, gun-slinging
parole officer who thinks himself to be God, that’ll be just great!” My words
dripped with sarcasm.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey! Watch who you’re calling steroid-driven and
gun-slinging and for your information, I don’t think myself to be God, but
you’re welcome to think it of me if you wish.” I spun around recognizing the
voice as soon as the first syllable was uttered. My breath hitched in my throat
as soon as my eyes confirmed what my heart had already known. Standing just
inside the door of this courtroom, grinning like a damn handsome as sin
Cheshire cat was my new parole officer. This has got to be some kind of a joke.
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Quil…?” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-2090071596344343652014-02-09T13:40:00.000-08:002014-02-09T13:40:53.563-08:00POSTED: The Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aegg62Y9nkI/Uvf02FUh-MI/AAAAAAAAFX8/dMKD75Y5EVM/s1600/-Stephen-Amell-stephen-amell-34315212-500-201.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aegg62Y9nkI/Uvf02FUh-MI/AAAAAAAAFX8/dMKD75Y5EVM/s1600/-Stephen-Amell-stephen-amell-34315212-500-201.png" height="131" width="320" /></a></div>
<i><b> Signed: Blacksheep Fiction = Swan</b></i><br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I did not hang around in my room. I have just spent a long
time in a small room and then went to a jail cell. The last thing I wanted
right now was to be held up in some room. I walked out of the room, slipping
the key into my pocket. I wonder when my roommate will be around. I heard the
little den mother Smiley calling everyone into some group therapy as I was
coming down the stairs and snorted a little, walking past them as I headed for
the door. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ms. Swan, aren’t you joining us for the group meeting?”
Smiley said when she spotted me. I shook my head and smirked. “I got a date
with the Marlboro man.” I joked, heading out the door and planting myself on
one of the ancient rocking chairs on the porch. It was a nice night out, not
too cold, though the usual clouds were covering the dark sky making it seem
somehow even darker. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
La Push never changed, I mean not in its core. People come
and go. There were good people, bad people, kind and spiritual people, and
hateful and bitter people. The land however, it’s core heartbeat. It never
changes. I inhaled deeply and sighed lightly. I love that it never changed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Mind if I join you?” The male voice made me jump a little
and I narrowed my eyes at the new comer. It was a man, which was my first
suspicious fact, since this is a home for women. A very good looking man that
had chocolate eyes, dark short hair and a kind smile. Why was everyone always
smiling around here? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Have you had a recent sex change, because if so, I would
like to know the name of the voodoo doctor you used.” I asked as he sat next to
me anyways, without the verbal okay to do so. The again I did ignore the
question. “Why are you loitering around women’s home? Easy pickin’s?” I snapped
my finger and nodded as if finally being enlightened with great understanding.
“That must be it, right? Broken women are easy, right? Throw out a few
compliments; leave out a trail of meth. You’re like the Candy man of the
woods.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The man had an amused smile on his face as he sat silently,
watching me babble on about all the fucked up reasons he could be here. It was
actually fun for a while, intentionally insulting this person’s very moral
fiber and all the while he thought it was amusing. They need to make more of
these types of men. “Sprinkle a little cock on some white roses and lure your
battered victim into the woods with the promise of clean dishes and precooked
meals.” I light another cigarette and laughed hard at the very image that my
sick brain had conjured up. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Can I ask you something, Isabella?” My silent visitor asked
as he looked at me with his head slightly cocked to the side.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Only if you’re not going to call me that again.” I snapped,
losing all of my humor quick.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It’s your name, I don’t use pet names or nick names, I use
names.” He said, still keeping his calm exterior. “My name is Jared and I
expect you to use it. Now, tell me, do you believe that you are a broken
woman?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Every single red flag that I have on my radar went up all at
once. Oh god, he is a shrink. I rolled my eyes and flicked my cigarette over
the rail as I stood up. “Great chatting with you, Shrinky, but I gott’a
unpack.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The man stood when I did and my eyes followed up. Now I am not
a very big woman, but I got a big attitude to cover that up. This man however,
made me have to look up when he stood. It wasn’t menacing or threatening, in
fact, he was still wearing that amused look on his face, but you could see the
seriousness behind it. He was handsome in a brooding kind of way. You could
easily see him in some Romeo and Juliet tragedy looking moodily over every
scene. He wore a suit, which looked awkward on him. He looked like he would fit
much better with a pair of jeans and a heavy sweatshirt. “Isabella, you need to
go to the group meeting that Mrs. Clearwater has set up for everyone because
there are two of you new people today and all of the residence here deserve the
respect of meeting you, especially the way that you arrived.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Don’t call me that.” I snapped automatically. “Respect? I
am going to be here for the better part of quite a few years, Doc. I will save
them the time, of having to go to the meeting. I will show them respect by not
fucking with them and they will show me the respect of fucking off and leaving
me alone.” I snapped, glaring up at him. “Don’t call me Isabella.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I turned on my heel, heading for the door. Fuck this shit, I
will call Mike and tell him they made a mistake in bringing me here. Tyler will just have to
make good on his promise to lock me away for good.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I never made it to the door. There was a pinch in my right
trapezius and I turned in time to see the dock putting the little orange
protector back over the needle and slip the syringe back into his pocket. I
opened my mouth to bitch him out and suddenly… forgot what I was going to say.
Or no longer cared.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I started to wobble back and the Doc caught me, laughing
slightly, helping me back to my feet. “Why did you give me that?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Relax and enjoy being relaxed. You see the great thing
about <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ativan</i> is that if I inject it
into the base of your neck, as I just did, it works within seconds. It only
lasts about two hours, but it serves its purpose, which in this case was
getting you to the group meeting.” I nodded and grinned. I was hearing
everything he was saying, I understood everything, but I had a small leaking
sensation in my brain that made me think I won’t be remembering it later.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Should I call Mike?” I asked, hoping he knew who Mike was.
I really was not at all interested in explaining how I knew him or why I would
call him. I didn’t really care about anything at the moment. Except for maybe
the color purple on this painting I was now face to canvas with.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No, I will call Mike after the meeting to let him know what
is going on.” Sexy doctor said behind me, just before the painting went sideways
and started to float away. No wait, what?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I looked around me and saw that sexy doctor was carrying me.
“Why can’t I walk?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Because you are easily distracted. See, at lease with me, I
carry you in, if you called Mike he would do what Sgt. Lahote is doing right
there and bring you down here in cuffs.” I am pretty sure I just licked his
shirt. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I like being carried better then cuffed, unless the cuffs
are for fun.” I grinned at nothing and closed my eyes. “Sleep?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No, stay awake until after the meeting, then you can sleep
it off all you want.” He plopped me down on a seat next to him and I looked
around at a room full of chicks all sitting in a circle. Fuck I hate this drug
shit. It makes it really hard to figure out if I am dreaming or this shit is
real.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I turned to the shrink Jared and grinned. I’ll bet if I get
him all hot that he will get me out of this shit. I tried to crawl up on his
lap again, whispering close to his ear. “Come on, I want to go to sleep.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Isabella, I need you to behave now and try to pay
attention. This group is going to help you.” He said easily, sliding me back to
my seat. I smirked fixing my hair some. “I thought that was why they brought
you in, to help me, why don’t you help me to bed and I’ll help you stay in bed.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He gave me a reproachful look and I laughed, jumping
slightly when someone started shouting about a tree. I shook my head, trying to
clear the constant ADD that was trying to force its way into me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>Oh look, there is a penny on the floor</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ms. Smiley started talking and I forced myself to look at
her, but I got lost on watching how her lips formed the words she was saying.
How the fuck is this shit supposed to help me when I can’t even focus on what
is being said? I shook my head to clear it and put all of me into listening.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“…So the full list of rules will be on the bulletin board in
the common room, but just remember; No smoking in the house at all. Keep your
space clean. Report…” No smoking in the house, which is a fucking bummer, that
means I have to walk my ass outside and stand in the rain to smoke. That shit
is lamesauce.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fingers snapped in my face and I turned to Jared glaring. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Everyone was laughing at something and I looked around the
group to see the handcuffed chick standing up, looking ready to run and hide
under her bed or something. “I’m Rachel.” She said quietly and then looked
around at smiley who, of course, smiled. We all did the ‘Hi Rachel’ thing,
though I really just made the appropriate noises without actually saying the
words. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Honey, t<a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a>ell us a little about
yourself why are you here?” smiley said to the nervous girl. I snorted a
little. There’s a loaded question.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The girl eked out a quick answer, which I guess infuriated
one of the chicks. I think she was a chick. She looked like she took a dive
into a pool of ugly and attitude and then drowned in it. “For fucks sake just
tells us what makes you a nut case like the rest of us!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Smiley’s smile was less bright and an odd mix of disapproval
in there. I was fascinated by how she was doing it. I have never seen someone
smile and frown at the same time. This woman was amazing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>I am pretty sure the penny on the floor moved three inches</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shy girl suddenly flipped out and started shouting. “A nut
case? I am not a nut case; I do not flip out when people make eye contact with
me threatening to smash faces in. I, as a normal person, do not fucking freak
out about imaginary cameras in paintings of trees, and I defiantly keep my lady
bits in my pants.” She was panting. I was pretty sure she would hyperventilate
herself. “You all might be fucking nut cases and fucking satisfied with being a
low grade of a person but I am not. I am here because apparently taking a pad
of paper is against the law and taking too many pills by mistake is a fucking crime
that labels you batshit crazy.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Smiley started to talk again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Wait what? I glared at girl and suddenly I was talking
before I even knew what I was saying. “You think we all started off this way?”
I snapped, blinking when my focused wavered for a moment. Wait what was I
saying? Oh right, the bi-polar bitch pissed me off. I shook my head to focus
again. “Like we used to play crack head Barbie or some shit growing up? We all
had dreams and shit but life threw piles of shit our way. I don’t give a fuck
who you are or why you think you’re better all of us are here.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I started to stand but was sitting again with a tug to my
hand. “You’re the one out of all of us in cuffs, so you want to explain that? I
am no better then you, but you damn well believe that there isn’t one of you
bitches that are here better then me. These suited douche bags with your badges
and your pointy needle drugs that are the low lives.” I shut up after
that. No one needed specifics. I made my point.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think. Hell I don’t even know what my point was. Other
people were talking now so it didn’t matter.<i> I was watching that tricky fucking
penny though, I’ll tell you that. Fucker was not moving again without me
seeing</i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was a tap on my shoulder and Shrinky was helping me
stand. I looked at him and looked back at the penny, ready to pick it up. <i>Who
doesn’t need a moving penny</i>? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was gone. <i><b>Damni</b><b>t</b></i>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Smiley was standing in front of me with the shy girl and her
little body guard. “Isabella, I would like you to meet Rachel, she came in only
just today too.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I glared at smiley and looked at the girl, who looked like
she was on the flip side again and back to playing shy. I nodded at her and Shrinky
poked my ribs. I grunted and sighed. “Hi.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She gave a nod. “Hi there Isabella.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Don’t call me that.” I snapped. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She frowned looking at the shrink and her body guard. “Okay
then… Bella?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I shook my head glaring. “Don’t call me that either.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She sighed and rubbed her face the best she could with the
cuffs. I bet I could be out the door and up the road before they even moved. I
eyed the door and then looked back at the group. Her body guard was eyeing me
back and I lifted a brow daring him to try.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Alright then, Izzy.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Jesus fucking Christ if you call me Izzy, I will choke you
to death with your own fucking handcuffs.” I snapped, looking back at her.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Well for fucks sakes, what do you want me to call you?” She
finally snapped back at me making me smirk. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I don’t want you to call me.” I moved past them and headed for the
door only to be stopped by a hand on my shoulder and I tried to shake off but
failed in my drugged state. I looked back and saw Shrinky behind me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“That wasn’t very nice, Isabella.” He said directing me to
the stairs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I don’t really give a shit, Shrinky.” I said heading up the
stairs two at a time. At this point sleeps sounded much more appealing then
escape. My feet where way too heavy to move any further and the stairs grew
about 20 steps. I sighed, trying to sit, but was scooped up again by Shrinky.
“You know I have been walking for a number of years now. All by myself and shit
too, it’s a pretty awesome sight to see.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shrinky laughed and opened the door to our joined room,
setting me on the bed before walking through the sheet door and flipping on a
light switch in his room. “Stay there.” He said from the other room. I am
pretty sure the meds where starting the ware off, which just goes to show how
much I zoned off in the meeting I guess, or how long I can stare at a fucking
penny. My head was starting to hurt pretty badly and I was almost positive I
was going to throw up. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I groaned and stood up, stumbling my way to the bathroom. I
started to retch and gag as I fumbled with the toilet seat. There was slap of
feet against the floor and Shrinky came in sighing. “Didn’t I tell you to stay
on the bed?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I gagged and dry heaved over the toilet bowl and glared into
the water. “Please tell me how any aspect of our relationship thus far has you
believing that I will be doing anything you fucking say?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There was another pinch in my neck and I turned to look at
the doc too weak to do anything other then throw a serious mad face at him.
“What the fuck did you give me now?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He rolled his eyes at me and started to rub my back as I
gagged over the toilet again. “Relax; it was caffeine nitrate, basically
injectable coffee. It will counteract the effects of coming off the Ativan.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He was right. Even as he was explaining it, the rolling of
the room stopped and the nausea was subsiding fast. “You know I wouldn’t have
had to give you anything tonight if you had just listened to me in the first
place.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shrinky reached around my waist helping me up to my feet
and, thankfully, let me walk by my self to the bed. I half joked, half snapped
as I flopped onto the bed, ignoring my clothes that I didn’t have the energy to
take off. “Did all your other roommates give in automatically and do whatever
you say?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I have never had any other roommates who were my patients’.”
He said evenly as he walked over to the bathroom sink and filled up a glass of
water. He shook out three Tylenol and handed everything to me. I grunted taking
the water and pills. “So you are saying in am you’re first? Like, you graduated
out of shrink school and they used me to pop your cherry?!” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He laughed some and shook his head. “You are not my first
patient.” He reassured, sitting how next to me on the bed and gently pushing
the pills to my mouth so that I would take them. I complied, washing them down
with the whole glass of water. He took the glass from me and set it on the
night stand next to the bed. “I used to be a resident hospital psychologist;
however this was more…fulfilling.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I snorted nodding as I laid my head down on the bed. My eyes
started to droop, but I was still talking. “Right, so they offered you twice as
much to be in this secluded hell hole.” I joked, letting him move my arms and
legs around as he attempted to carefully undress me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Absolutely.” He said calmly which made me laugh. I felt the
covers being drawn over me and smoothed out. “Good night, Isabella.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Don’t fucking call me that.” I mumbled as I drifted off to
sleep.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-57178952713023179822014-02-09T13:37:00.003-08:002014-02-09T13:41:02.115-08:00POSTED: The Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oxmirJ-8X2M/Uvf0yaLMwDI/AAAAAAAAFXw/zyhu9EdTQpw/s1600/paul.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oxmirJ-8X2M/Uvf0yaLMwDI/AAAAAAAAFXw/zyhu9EdTQpw/s1600/paul.jpg" height="145" width="320" /></a></div>
<i><b> Signed: Kyla Lockheart = Rachel</b></i><br />
<br />
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was in the deepest
sleep I have been in since my life turned upside, when I was woken up by a loud
booming bang on the door. I jumped up out of bed with wide eyes as the door
flung open and a man entered at once giving me a sideways glare.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Black?” He
questioned as his eyes scanned the room suspiciously, he looked at me again
lifting a brow when I didn’t answer him taking a step forward flipping open a
folder.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just stood there frozen in
place giving him my own glare. The man shut the file, I am assuming was mine,
tossing it on the dresser moving his hand to his hip pulling his leather jacket
back slightly showing me his badge. I let out a breath I wasn’t aware I was
holding and sat back on the bed. “My Name is Rachel.” I mumbled running a hand
threw my hair.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Here” His tone was rough and unapproachable, and then
again, so was everything about him. He threw a plastic cup at me unexpectedly
and barked out. “Fill it up.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My head tilted picking it up looking over at him. “Are you
my probation officer or some weirdo who likes to collect pee samples?” My eyes
narrowed trying to more or less figure this guy out. I watched as his lip
curled upward softening his scruffy facial features. “I am Sgt. Lahote and yes
I am your probation officer. Now go take a piss for me.” He nodded his head
towards the restroom.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Um…Ok I guess.” I sighed getting up walking to the restroom
attempting to kick the door closed behind me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Not so fast Black.” The sound of his voice so close behind
me made me jump and spin around. I furrowed my brows, confused. I was just parting
my lips to speak but he was quicker then I was. “Leave the door open.” He tone
was steady full of authority and yet I still challenged him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Excuse me?” The disgust in my tone was obvious to a deaf
man. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m not going to watch but I need to listen. If that is a
problem I have no issue calling Sue up here to physically watch you, or better
yet I can haul you down to the station. Seeing as it’s your first day, and a
first offence I thought I’d cut you a small break.” I scoffed staring at him, positive
he was fucking with me, but when he reached for his cuffs I put my hands up
quickly.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ok, ok, ok be disgusting and listen to me pee. Fuck.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I sigh, waiting for him to walk away. He only
gives me a nasty, smug smirk turning his back towards the open door. I
unbuttoned my jeans wiggling around to push them down sitting on the toilet but
knowing he was there listening made it hard to pee so I stood up turned the
sink on and sat back down, of course, just as I started he walked right in. Can
you believe that? He just walked in; eyes straight forward and turned the sink
off and walked out. “You don’t want to be on my bad side Black. Do as you’re
told when you are told and we won’t have any problems.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was not used to being treated like this. Back home, I was
basically considered royalty due to my family’s Native Chief background. Before
this mess I was never in trouble, hell I was never even suspended from school.
I couldn’t really pee with this much silence so I tried to start a
conversation. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“My brother.” Before
I could finish he cut me off. “Jacob Black. Yeah, I know him. Good person, but
that doesn’t mean shit to me. You are here for your own stupidity, not his and I
don’t think trying to get special treatment for who you happen to be related to
is a wise move on your part.” His words stung, that was the last thing I was
trying to do, receive special treatment on my brothers’ behalf. I finished up
in silence having that annoying, overwhelming feeling of panic trickle over me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Was anyone in my life
ever going to look at me the same as before this mess</i>?’ I thought walking
out handing Sgt. Lahote the cup even though it was splashed a little with pee.
He took it between his fingers clearing his throat walking back in the restroom
setting it on the counter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sgt. Lahote
began checking my urine I watched from the door, he looked up at me from the
mirror. “You don’t have to watch me do this you can finish or from the looks of
it start unpacking.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I am fine right here.” I say watching his every move, I
heard him chuckle shaking his head looking up at me again once he dipped the
test strip in the piss. “What is wrong? You think I am going to contaminate
your test?” He grinned wickedly up at me; I simply shook my head shrugging. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No, I was just wondering why you wouldn’t be wearing gloves
and why you are so content with touching it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I mean it is pee you’re handling. Are you sure you’re not a sick pee
loving pervert?” I flashed him an innocent smile as his face fell more serious
looking down at the test. I walked back towards the bed glancing out the window
watching the few people outside. A van had pulled up and there was some
commotion about an arriving guest, I guess.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You’re clean. You want to tell me why you skipped dinner?”
Sgt. Lahote asked walking towards me drying his hands clean. I shook my head
not looking at him. I could feel him staring at me but I refused to look up, I
just continued to watch them down stairs. I saw Sue and a parole officer had finally
coaxed the woman out of the van. Her hands are cuffed in front of here and her
parole officer handed her a pack of cigarettes and lights one for her. I heard
Sgt. Lahote sigh behind me and him flipping through my folder again. Words
spilled out before I could even stop myself, I was just tired of everyone
tossing me in some category. It’s as if I am not even allowed to have my own
identity anymore. I was now a percent of everyday drug users. I turned away
from the window and looked at him full on.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You can’t judge
someone based off someone else opinion on some damn piece of paper. “<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I muttered crossing my arms starting to get
annoy with this so called Sergeant. “Yeah, well in my line of work 9 out of 10
times facts don’t lie.” He flicked the file clicking his tongue. “Are you
saying the Felony theft is a lie or how about the drug possession is that a
lie?” His eyes scanned the file and suddenly his whole demeanor changed. I knew
he was reading the attempted suicide and my melt down in the hospital. I
flipped open my suite case that was packed messily, dumping it out trying to
organize it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oddly I used to be very
neat and clean. Jacob used to tease me about being bordered line OCD.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“No, I am not denying it. I have made my mistakes and I have
admitted to them, but I am saying just because of how it was charged doesn’t
mean my intentions were meant as harmful.” I spat out with anger, I was done
with having everyone judge me. I will pay the price for my crimes but I refuse
to be looked at as if I was some low life loser.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sgt. Lahote didn’t even try to respond, clearly he didn’t
give a fuck he went on to list more rules about this damn house and living here
like me being here was a privilege and not a accurate punishment. “I will check
up on you every other day until you give me reason for it to be less. Once a
week you will take a drug test. You are not to be in any bars, clubs, or
parties. If you fuck up I won’t give you a second chance. No, let me rephrase
that, this is your second chance and there will not be another. You will go to
jail. If you think you are going to get yourself into any kind of trouble you
call me before you do not after. I can’t help you if you fuck up, then call me.
I can’t stress it enough Talo, You will go to jail if you fuck up.” With that
said he slipped his card in front of me on the dresser. I nodded in agreement
and smiled small when he called me Talo; No one has called me that in a while.
I guess mostly because I ashamed my Quileute Tribe. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do I make myself clear Black?” His deepening tone made me
snap out of my thought process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sgt.
Lahote's eyes had no trace of kindness. In fact he looked angered, enraged
almost. My breathing picked up as I cowered at his tone, He must have noticed
because he looked away almost regretful. “Yes, I understand.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I finally submitted with a low mumble.
“Alright, you have group sessions and also one on one I expect you to attend
each one and to be on time. I will be getting reports on your progress. This
means if you are not showing improvement you will be sent back to the
judge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also you need to make sure you
are eating right. It is part of my probation requirements. I don’t care what
anyone else says, eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner are not a choice.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My brow arched slowly listening to his rules; I leaned back
against the wall folding my arms. He almost started to sound like he cared a
little. My eyes glanced at the card he had left reading his full name I smiled.
“Ok. Paul. You’re the boss. “I said meaning to lighten the heavy mood that
thickened the air around us. His head snapped towards me making me back up
fully against the wall swallowing hard. I instantly regretted my choice of
words. “You are to address me as Sgt. Lahote, Nothing else. Am I clear?” My
eyes fell to the floor I don’t know why but a lump began to rise in my throat.
I could feel my cheeks brighten as he spoke down to me like some child.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Look, you might not
like it but I do have a job to do. I have been strictly instructed on how to
handle you and your case and I will do so. Your little tantrums won’t work on
me. You committed a crime deal with it.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Although his words where strong and upfront his tone was
soft and shallow, when I glanced up at him he was looking at me with kind eyes,
his stance was relaxed. “I know what I did. I am not trying to deny
anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I deserve all that comes to
me, even more than what I have been given. It is just a lot to deal with at
once I guess.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He rubbed the stubble on
his chin looking into my eyes. He was trying to read me, to see if I was
bullshitting him or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I am glad you
feel that way because I am not giving you any special treatment.” I couldn’t
help but smile, he sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I am fine with that.” I said without thinking, before I
knew it he was stalking towards me. He flipped me against the wall in one swift
movement; his cuffs flew out from absolutely nowhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The loud snap of the cuffs around my wrist
made my body shiver I bit my lip hard hoping he didn’t notice. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His movement stopped for a moment I turned to look back at
him his face was as if it was etched out of stone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Any hint of friendliness had vanished behind
his dark eyes. Lahote yanked me off the wall and out the room. I was too
nervous to even try to speak. I turned red noticing a few of the girls hanging
around watching the Sgt tow me down the hallway and down the stairs to the
front of a closed door my eyes cut to his, his stayed on me as he reached over
and opened the door to a room with a few girls sitting around and Sue who was
reading a book of some sort.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The room was actually kind of upbeat and comforting. There
was a girl that was carried in by some man she was mumbling about wanting to
sleep but he wouldn’t let her. The other girls all gazed at me for a moment
before going back to whatever they were doing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sue finally looked up at me sighing setting her book down standing up
before she could say anything Sgt. Lahote was pushing me towards the inside of
the room. He grabbed my wrist and un-cuffed one hand guiding me to a seat where
he proceeded to cuff me to the chair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sue glared at him but before she could say anything he was out the door.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“I see Sgt. Lahote
has wasted no time in puffing his chest out and playing big bad Sergeant with you.”
She kneeled down checking the tightness of the cuffs standing back up. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“So I have to stay like this the whole time?” My words came
out whinier then I meant to sound.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“It depends on why you are in this situation. Did you mouth
off sweetie?” Sue took a seat next to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“I called him by first name. If I am not allowed to then it shouldn’t be
on his card.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She laughed lightly
patting my knee. “Sgt.Lahote takes some warming up to. He is a nice person when
you get to know him; he is just rough around the edges. I am sure he will
lighten up soon.” Sue smiled at me walking away to greet the other arriving
girls.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sat there looking around everyone had an officer with
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One girl had two by her side. I
made the mistake of making eye contact with her. “What the fuck are you looking
at cunt, I’ll smash your pretty little face in!” She yelled directly at me
making me flinch back in my seat. Both her guards snapped at her. The bigger
one effortlessly pushed her shoulders down forcing her to sit back in her seat.
I swear she snarled at me before turning her attention away.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A man in a suite carried another one in. She was really just
mumbling about wanting to sleep I watched as he helped her sit up in a seat,
she kept grinning seductively trying to inch her way back into his lap.
“Isabella, I need you to behave now and try to pay attention. This group is
going to help you” She cooed to her smoothing the hair out of her face. “I
thought that was why they brought you in, to help me, why don’t you help me to
bed and I’ll help you stay in bed.” She said with a lazy laugh.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I almost laughed when some other crazy ass bitch started to
scream about seeing a camera in the tree watching her startled me. She went
ballistic some of the other guards had to help hers carry her out. I looked
around wondering if they are recording the session but the only tree I saw was
in an oil painting on the wall. I jumped hearing a low chuckle from behind me
when I looked up there stood Sgt. Lahote. As soon as I made eye contact with
him his face set back into ice man mode looking straight ahead.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do I have to be cuffed for this?” I asked in a low whisper
looking up. Lahote glanced down and nodded. “I don’t see anyone else having to
sit here like this. Why do I? The other girl over there is clearly more of a
threat then I am.” I started to whine, Lahote bent over some speaking low.
“Because you’re a runner. You are going to hear things you won’t like and I
don’t feel like chasing after you because Princess Talo doesn’t like what she is
about to hear.” My eyes narrowed at him as he stood back up his arms crossed
behind his back, his chest was puffed out like an asshole. I just sighed,
turning back towards the others.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Good Evening Ladies. For those of you whom I have not had
the pleasure of meeting my name is Sue Clearwater. You may all call my Sue.
“Sue started by walking to the middle of group circle we all where sitting in
by chance. “I would like to first welcome you all Home. We have a couple new
arriving guests today.” Sue was already turning her attention to me then the
other lazy girl still mumbling to her probation officer.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Before we begin I would like to go over all the rules for
the not only the new comers but as a reminder to all of us. “Picking up a hand
out she began to read off. I started to zone out watching all the erratic
behavior of the other girls, they all seemed to get along for the most part but
the way they looked back at me I could tell I was an outsider and making
friends would not be as easy as it was back home, at my real home. I then
started to wonder if I even had friends back home, if any of them would ever
talk to me again. We always used to make fun of drug users and now I guess
technically I am or at least I was one.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Black pay attention.” Sgt Lahote must have seen me gaze
off. I looked back at Sue who was discussing a rule with one of the girls.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Ok now that we have gotten that out of the way let’s begin
by having the new comers introduce themselves. Rachel, why don’t you go first?”
The second she spoke my name I turned a new shade of red and the room’s eyes
all fell on me. I went to stand up but my cuffs yanked me back down earning a
roar of laughter from the group. Sgt Lahote knelt down and un-cuffed me from
the chair but moved the cuffs to the front of me. Sue settled everyone down and
waited for me to begin.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I’m Rachel.” I said not having the slightest idea of what
else to say. Sue just smiled encouraging towards me. They room all mutter ‘Hi
Rachel’ I looked back at Sue and shrugged my shoulders. “Honey, tell us a
little about yourself why are you here?” She questioned, I instantly tensed up.
I felt Lahote move closer as if he was waiting for me to run. “I broke the law”
I said not wanting everyone to know my business.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“For fucks sake just tells us what makes you a nut case like
the rest of us!” Someone in the group snapped obviously annoyed. Sue stood up
shaking her head” Victoria you know it was not easy on your first day either.
Be supportive that is why we are here.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I arched a brow at the girl slightly shaking my head laughing to myself.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“A nut case? I am not a nut case; I do not flip out when
people make eye contact with me threatening to smash faces in. I, as a normal
person, do not fucking freak out about imaginary cameras in paintings of trees,
and I defiantly keep my lady bits in my pants. You all might be fucking nut
cases and fucking satisfied with being a low grade of a person but I am not. I
am here because apparently taking a pad of paper is against the law and taking
too many pills by mistake is a fucking crime that labels you batshit crazy.” I
snapped getting pissed off with the way they all seem to be judging me. Sgt.
Lahote put a hand on my shoulder lightly pushing on it to signal me to sit down
only when I sat down he kept his hand on my shoulder. Not aggressively, just
almost supportively. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The girl who was trying her damn well best to seduce the guy
in the suit slowly turned her attention back to me. Sue had begun to speak but
the girl cut her off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You think we all
started off this way?” She blinked a bunch, as if she was trying to remember
what she was about to do. She shook her head and looked right at me. “Like we
used to play crack head Barbie or some shit growing up? We all had dreams and
shit but life throws piles of shit out way. I don’t give a fuck who you are or
why you think you’re better all of us are here.” She started to stand but they
suit held her hand, pulling her back down. “You’re the one out of all of us in
cuffs, so you want to explain that? I am no better then you, but you damn well
believe that there isn’t one of you bitches that are better then me. These
suited douche bags with your badges and your pointy needle drugs that are the
low lives.” I don’t know why, but when she spoke I listened, I heard the sorrow
in her voice. Before I could even say anything another girl started to speak.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I was going to be a pro tennis player. I had my dream in
the palm of hand. I went out one night to celebrate. My friends and I had a few
to many to drink. I thought I was cool to drive. I ended up driving us into a
tree. Killed my best friend shattered my playing arm. They gave pain killers
for my arm but I couldn’t stop taking them even after I was healed. I lost
everything I loved. What is worst is I have a 2 year old. I took pain killers
to get high not in the right frame of mind. I gave him a bath one night and
dozed off. I woke up to him drowning in the tub, My now ex-husband yelling at
me while he saved his life.” She started to trail off, I glanced at Sue who I thought
for sure would have intervened by now but she sat and just listened while
everyone got more involved with the topic.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I relaxed the more I heard the stories. I became more aware
of the fact that everyone here no matter what the reason was, was still human.
We all had a pass we wish we could go back to; we all have made mistakes we
regret.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At the end of the meeting I oddly felt calm and at peace
within myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s not an everyday
thing to feel so calm and not so out of place just by sitting around and
listening, well mostly listening. Aside from my minor outburst the other girls
all took turns talking about the lives they used to have and how they all hoped
this home could get them back there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Rachel, that was a great start today!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I tore my eyes away from watching the other girls all leave together out
the back doors I am assuming for a smoke. Why else would they go out in the
freezing rain? Sue was smiling as bright as ever at me, honestly kind of creped
me out. She was so happy that I spoiled native princess side came ragging out
the way it did. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“ It was?” My tone was in obvious disbelief. I lifted my
arms up threading my fingers through the roots of my hair groaning when I am
reminded of the cuffs as the cold metal rested on my forehead. Sue nodded and
looked over to Lahote. She kept a smile but I noticed her eyes slightly widen
at him. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Yeah, Opening up no matter how you do it is always a good
start.” His hand rested heavily on my shoulder again, my hands dropped down so
I could look up at him much to my surprise to see Lahote actually smiling down
at me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Come on, I want you to meet Isabella. I think the two of
you would really hit it off.” Sue beamed at the idea of taking me on some sort
of play date. Lahote gave me a slight nudge to get me moving I couldn’t help
but to clear down shaking my head. This guy seriously needed to learn to use
words instead of settle hand gestures to get me moving like some damn blind dog
or whatever. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Isabella, I would
like you to meet Rachel, she came in only just today too.” Lahote stood closely
behind me again, I could tell because the heat from his body collided with the
heat from mine, I glanced up at him seeing a new threatening stance but this
time it wasn’t aimed towards me. I blinked confused as I looked back to Sue
trying to quickly sort it out in my head shaking the thought away. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hi.” She grunted looking at me. Taking in a slow breath I
quickly decided to play nice and at least try to make some sort of friend. “Hi
there Isabella.” I nodded towards her, remembering how my father taught me to
be welcoming to the new people who enter our lives. He always believed all
people cross paths for a reason. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Don’t call me that.”
She said with a bite. I blinked at her totally confused looking to Sue then
Lahote. Sue just smiled as always letting the interaction move along without
her inventing. Lahote’s eyes slightly narrowed at the girl. The tension was
quickly rising putting me on edge. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Okay then… Bella?” I asked testing the nickname, My brows
furrowed at her nasty response.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Don’t
call me that either.” I sighed rubbing my face getting tired of this name
guessing game taking one last stab at it looking to Lahote and Sue first to see
if they would object to me trying a third time. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Alright then, Izzy.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I forced a smile but it dropped when she went off like I called her a
dirty slut or something. “Jesus fucking Christ if you call me Izzy, I will
choke you to death with your own fucking handcuffs.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I finally snapped fucking irritated with her
attitude after her little lets support each other speech which was clearly
bullshit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Well for fucks sakes, what do
you want me to call you?” Lahote shifted behind me, oddly I could feel it
without even having to be touching him his stance became more tense I was sure
he would be yelling at me next but when I followed the glare of her eyes to
Lahote he was staring her down. They seemed to daring each other to make a move
of some sort.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She ended up just smirking
looking back at me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I don’t want you to call me.” She spat out walking away, I
rolled my eyes muttering under my breath. “What an Xiladak”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked over hearing Lahote cough a laugh
squeezing the back of my neck leading me towards the stairs and into my bedroom.
I stood expectantly in front of him waiting for my cuffs to be taken off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When he stood there in the door way staring
at me I shook my cuffs at him to get his attention but all Lahote did was take
in a deep breath staring at me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Do I have to sleep in them?” I question confused at the way
he was staring at me, he shook his head slightly, his dark eyes stayed steady
on me as he reached for the keys un-cuffing my hands. “Are you planning on
being at all meetings?” I asked turning away walking to the mess on my floor
kneeling down trying to sort through it all but having a hard time picking a
area to start. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Again Lahote stayed silent just watching me by the door. I
glanced at him out of the corner of my eye getting that awkward what am I
supposed to do here feeling so I stood up. “What?” I snapped looking right back
at him. Lahotes brow lifted but his facial features all stayed unreadable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Nothing.” He mutter not exactly believable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had been shipped around all day, I haven’t
ate and I was getting tired so needless to say the bitch in me started to wake
up. “Then what the hell are you still doing here? Are you planning on how to
embarrass me next?” My jaw locked holding back a lot of what I wanted to say
but Sgt asshat seemed assumed shaking his head slightly with an nonchalant
shrug of is shoulders.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I have plenty of Ideas to punish you for your little fuck
ups that are bound to happen Talo. It’s up to you how often that will be. But I
can tell with your mood swings you will be fucking up.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The sleekness in his tone was taunting me. It’s
like he wanted to see me in trouble but why?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“You know what, Fuck you. Fuck you and your superior fucking
attitude. You must get off on this shit huh? Pushing broken girls around making
them snap so you can make yourself feel important!” His comment made my blood
boil and before I could even stop myself I was yelling at him making a bigger
mess on my floor throwing clothes around looking for my Pajama bottoms. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Is that what you are Rachel? Broken. “<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My head snapped in his direct, if they could
my eyes would be spitting acid out at him refusing to give any sort of answer.
Lahote looked at me with the same disappointed eyes as Jacob. Lahote shook his
head stepping back starting to shut the door but not without getting the last
punch in. “I will see you tomorrow. You have proved nothing as of yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And you are right. I shouldn’t have judge the
file work on you, you’re a way bigger mess then described.” With that he shut
the door, my mouth literary fell open. Who the fuck was he to say some shit
like that about me? What gives him any sort of right<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to know me for all of 6 hours and judge me
like that. Fucking Asshat. That’s what Sgt Paul Lahote was. I fucking asshat. <a href="https://www.blogger.com/null" name="_GoBack"></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-40129150960320716002014-02-07T12:03:00.002-08:002014-02-12T22:33:59.028-08:00The Home Video<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Video for the Fan Fiction story:<br />
The Home (<a href="https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10080801/1/The-Home">read here</a>)<br />
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<br />The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-23793560811573612562014-02-03T21:28:00.001-08:002014-02-07T19:39:42.556-08:00POSTED: The Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
(Signed: Blacksheep Fiction = Swan)<br />
<br />
Swan<br />
Chapter 1<br />
<br />
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<br />
“Didn’t I tell you that I didn’t want to see you in front of me anymore, Ms.
Swan?” The high and mighty Judge Crowley said a stern look on his face. He
wasn’t the old kind of judge. In fact, he was the youngest high tier judge in Washington before you
get to the supreme and federal judges. He was also a pervert and liked to be
spanked. I grinned and winked at him.<br />
“Well, Tyler,
you usually say that another way.” I grinned, watching his face redden and the
guards on either side of me shift uncomfortably. “It was usually something
along the lines of ‘Don’t let me see you in front of me again…unless you’re on
your knees.’”<br />
The guard to my left coughed hard to cover his laugh while the judge stood
looking down on me from his slightly elevated desk. Maybe he just had height
issues. It was probably smart that he asked for a private meeting to discuss my
release from the neighborhood friendly mental holding facility, here in his
chambers then out in the court room. He would probably drop the axe right now
if I pulled that in front of everyone out there.<br />
“Isabella, there is no need for this attitude.” He said patiently, but the
gritting of the teeth as he spoke told me I was probably on his last nerve. He
sat back down in his comfortable looking rolly chair. “Who do you have
representing you?”<br />
“Don’t call me Isabella. Me, I am representing me.” I said rolling my eyes.
“Just because I have money doesn’t mean I want to spend it on some dick head
that can say ‘Your honor, I believe my client has learned that helping someone
of this society doesn’t come without its consequences,’ when I am perfectly
capable of saying it myself.”<br />
“When you have two charges of assault and one of kidnapping—”<br />
I cut him off losing my temper instantly. “Those women were beating that
little boy! He was only 10! They almost killed him. Yes, I punched those
bitches and I would have done worse if I didn’t have to take the kid to a safe
place.” I didn’t realize I was advancing on good old Judge Crowley until one of
the guards jerked me back. “This was a fucking hospital and when the police
came I told them exactly what happened and didn’t even put up a fight when they
were going to arrest me.”<br />
“You stabbed the mother of that child in the neck with a sharpened pencil,
Ms. Swan. That is violent and erratic behavior to be letting out on the streets
again.” The Judge said calmly.<br />
I narrowed my eyes at him and sneered. “It looks like no matter how many
times they promote you, Tyler, you will always be a scumbag lawyer.” I snapped.
“Look at the shit that led to my ‘violent and erratic behavior’ and you will
see that the woman was gloating about fighting to get custody of the kid again
just so that she can teach him a lesson. I stabbed her in the neck but the cop
that took me down heard it too and she is now facing charges of beating this
kid for the 10 years that he has been alive.”<br />
Tyler sighed
and laced his fingers as he looked me over. I just glared on. What the fuck can
he do, send me back to the facility. Oh no, don’t send me back to a warm bed,
three awesome cooked meals and a staff that knows me by name and the brand of
cigarettes I smoke. That would just be the worst.<br />
“Isabella—”<br />
“Don’t call me that.” I snapped.<br />
He sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Bella—”<br />
I jerked against the guards hold again, seeing only red. “Don’t fucking call
me that, either.”<br />
Tyler was up
on his feet leaning forward on his desk making our faces only about a foot
apart. “I knew them too!” he yelled at me making me bite my lip hard. “I knew
them and I cannot tell you how sorry I am that they died the way they did and
that you had to be there to see it, but this is not going to bring them back!”<br />
I am pretty sure there was blood forming where I was biting my lip. “Yeah
everyone is so sorry, but look how far that got them. Look at what everyone did
to bring justice to their name.” I spit on the floor in front of his desk.
“Nothing. That is what everyone did for him and that is what everyone did for
me. Nothing.”<br />
“I am not letting you back out on the streets so you can go on some twisted
revenge scheme that doesn’t lead you anywhere but back in front of me in my
courtroom again.” Tyler
snapped. “Next time it will be murder charges. I don’t care how noble you think
your actions are, there are police out there that will take care of things the
right way.”<br />
“Yeah the police, yeah right.” I snorted, sitting heavily in a hard leather
chair that was in front of the tall desk.<br />
“Your father was a damn good cop, so don’t you dare sneer at the mention of
police.” This came from the guard to my left, whose name was Newton, which made me lift an eyebrow. I had
gone to school with him once upon a time, even made out with him in the back of
his mom’s busted up Civic, even though he was three grades ahead of me. He knew
my family before it happened.<br />
Funny I never even realized it had been him who was guarding me.<br />
“You are going to be on parole with Mike here, who by the way volunteered
for the honor, since all of your past parole officers refuse to deal with you
any longer.” Tyler
gave me a sharp look and I shrugged uncaring. The past parole officers were
horny bastards and didn’t like it when I tried to use it to my advantage. “You
will also be assigned a personal counselor, Jared.”<br />
“A personal what?” I groaned laying my head back on the chair looking at the
ceiling. “So I have a fucking shrinky-babysitter up my ass 24/7?”<br />
“Yes and on top of everything, you are being sent back to La Push, to the La
Push home for Women wearing an ankle monitor for at the very least 9 months.” Tyler said, impatience
creeping into his voice again.<br />
My head shot up. “What? Seriously? The home for the meth heads and
alcoholics, seriously, please tell me how the fuck that is supposed to help
me?”<br />
Tyler just
stared at me. He either didn’t have a reason or didn’t want to rise to the
delicious bait that I had set out for him. Dick.<br />
I sighed standing up and heading for the door when Tyler cleared his throat, obviously wanting
me to turn to face him, so instead I just stopped walking and looked at the
door. “Ms. Swan, I will only tell you this once, because there will be no next
time. If I see you in my courtroom again, I will search max penalty for
everything you are charged with and have you locked away for good. Do you
understand me?”<br />
I lifted up my cuffed hands and flipped him off as I left the room.<br />
I was lead back to the holding cell to wait it out. Knowing Tyler,
he would wait the whole 48 hours before sending over the release form so I can
be shipped from my cozy little spot in Spokane,
to the fucking boondock-middle-of-nowhere La Push. I sighed, watching as Mike
Newton closed the cell door with probably harder force than needed. <br />
I sat on the metal slab that stuck out of the wall that they called a bed
and stared hard at the floor, as if it would provide me with sudden knowledge
of a way out of this one. Well, it wasn’t prison at least. <br />
I scrubbed my face not really ready for this. I hadn’t been back to La Push
since I was 16. 10 years hasn’t even come close to preparing me for what
memories will be assaulting me the second I am back on La Push soil. It’s as if
the very air there holds something different. They could keep it. I want
nothing to do with La Push any longer.<br />
It wasn’t as if I were the only one. Lots of people left, especially after
the crime got so bad that people just weren’t safe walking around after dark
any longer. Jobs left La Push when Sam Uley sold out his construction company
to some pale face bunch and scampered off to Seattle or wherever he is now living off his
fat loot.<br />
We got left with strangers roaming the reservation. My father, Charlie Swan
was the police chief of Forks, but often took care of La Push too. We even
lived there. My mother was native. Charlie once told me it his idea of paradise
was just where he was, in La Push, which was before everything.<br />
There were angry tears running down my face that I wipe away with a harsh
swipe of the back of my hand. I was home, with my mother, when it happened. She
was trying to help me with my homework and I was giving her attitude. You know
it’s funny, I can close my eyes and think really hard and I don’t think I can’t
bring up my mother’s face, but what I see is how I remember last seeing her. My
dad on the other hand… Charlie had just come home from work. I can still smell
the aftershave he used. I can hear the creak of the leather gun holster. My
father was my hero.<br />
He came in and gave me hell for giving my mother a hard time. I listened to
him. He always seemed to embody the whole cop thing. It was as if the job was
picked for him the second he was born.<br />
He was in the middle of telling us about his day when there was a knock on
the door, but he never got to walk over and check. There was a shotgun blast to
the handle; I remember seeing the buck shot just spatter the door. My mother
screamed. I remember that scream even to this day, it was so loud and as the
three masked men came into the house, they were yelling at her to shut the fuck
up. I was yelling at her to shut the fuck up. She was so stupid. She just
wouldn’t stop screaming.<br />
Charlie was using his calm cop voice and trying to talk to them, but they
just took his gun and put one of the people on him, sawed off shotgun barrel in
his mouth. They were making horrible jokes. The laughter was an unforgettable
cruel laugh.<br />
They smacked mom and dad yelled at them from around the gun, but when they
started advancing on me, he really started to struggle. Lifted by my hair, I am
forced to face my father.<br />
“Charlie, you never told us that you had such a grown up daughter.” I kicked
at one of them when he tried to lick my face and got punched in the ribs. “Mmm
she is feisty too.” The one holding my hair jerked, forcing me to sit up again,
looking at Charlie, I saw tears streaming down his face. We were staring at
each other when I heard a struggle off to the side and one of the other men
shout out before a loud gunshot went off. I flinched screaming.<br />
“Ah fuck that bitch bit me!” he exclaimed walking back to his two buddies.
Charlie was breathing hard; his eyes not leaving mine, tears were a constant
flow from his eyes. The man that just joined us was walking towards me. “What
about you sweetheart, do you bite?”<br />
Charlie was shaking his head fast and fighting and the one holding the gun
into his mouth pumped the shot gun. “Now why don’t you settle down before your
pretty daughter watches us blow off your head?”<br />
<br />
The one holding my hair let his grip loosen and I fell to the floor in a
pile of anger and pathetic whimpering. There was a trail of blood that was
making its way across the floor since the house was so old and uneven. I didn’t
have to follow it to know it was my mother. Lying with what use to be her face
looking at me, her limbs awkwardly bent. I just stared at the hole in her face.<br />
“Go ahead and say your last words to your baby girl, Chief.” One of the men
said pulling the gun from Charlie’s mouth. “You are going to watch us make her
a woman. If you fight then she will watch us blow your head off and we will
make her a woman on top of your dead body.”<br />
I looked up at Charlie and just felt my self inches from completely losing
it. He licked his lips and was giving me a pointed look. “Pray baby, you hear
me, no matter what happens, pray.”<br />
I nodded hard understanding; it was our code for looking up without anyone
knowing. He taught this to me when I went through self defense class at the
police station when I was 12. We were not a religious family at all, but when
the man dropped me, I half fell under the table and I put my hands together and
looked up to the heavens to start praying. I saw taped to the underside of the
table was my dad’s personal gun. P15 with the safety removed, it’s what I
learned to shoot with.<br />
I looked at Charlie and cried harder. “I love you dad.”<br />
He nodded and I reached up fast pulled it free, pointing it at the man
holding the shotgun to Charlie and squeezed the trigger as I breathed out,
shooting the guy in the man parts. The other two jumped and everything went
into chaos. I crawled out from the table and ran to Charlie, handing him the
gun and we headed for the door as fast as we could.<br />
It wasn’t fast enough.<br />
There were two shots and Charlie jerked in my arms twice. I got hit hard in
the back of the head. I have no memory of anything else from that night.<br />
I shook my head, coming back to the present, habitually playing with the
stippled scaring on my arm where the buckshot hit when they were aiming for
Charlie. <br />
<br />
“Get up Swan; you’re going to the bus.” Newton said as the cell door was opened once
again for me making me tilt my head as I turned around in the usual position so
they can cuff me for transport. I heard him laugh behind me as he slid the
handcuffs over my wrists. “I guess you pissed him off enough to where he wanted
you out of here as soon as possible.”<br />
I snorted nodding, letting him lead me out. We got into the small passenger
van that was rigged up with bars and rails so that it past state prisoner
transport regulations. Yes, there are regulations for that. After Newton got me locked in,
he got into the front passenger side of the van and fell silent with a thick
stack of reading material in his lap. My file no doubt.<br />
I stared out the window, hating every mile that brought me closer to La
Push.<br />
The reservation itself was beautiful and the people, before the pale faces
started showing up, were like one big family. Charlie and my mother were
actually close with a few families, not that I remember them anymore.<br />
When we got about halfway through the seven hour drive, they stopped off and
got some fast food and let me eat one handed with the other hand cuffed to the
frame bolted railing in the door. I was looking at Newton as I ate, thinking about La Push and
Forks.<br />
“How long have you been in Spokane?”
I asked over a mouthful of burger. Hey I have manners but if you are going to
only let me eat like a chained animal then I will act like one.<br />
Mike rolled his eyes and leaned forward with a napkin, wiping my mouth. I
grinned at him. “However long it has been since the hospital to now.”<br />
I frowned cocking my head to the side. “What do you mean, you came up for
me? Awww, Mikey that is so sweet.” I smirked.<br />
He snorted and stole one of my fries before looking off into the quickly
darkening sky. “Yes, but as an assignment. I work in the parole officers
division in La Push. Since no parole officers in Spokane will take you on and they were sending
you to La Push anyways, I volunteered for the job. I thought it might be easier
for you if you knew me.”<br />
I thought about it as I took another large bite of my burger. He was right,
it was a little easier to swallow knowing that the parole officer wasn’t some
douche that saw you as just some case and not a person. I nodded and smiled.
“Thanks, Mike, I really appreciate that.”<br />
“Well you keep that in mind when you get to the women’s home, because I
don’t want you giving me shit when we get there. Ms. Sue is a nice woman and I
don’t want you giving her shit either. We may be friends Swan but it’s my job
to keep your shit in line. So, no getting cute.”<br />
I smirked as he wiped my mouth again and winked. “Does that involve
spankings, because I am totally down for that…?” I feigned innocence. “I mean…
No, no whatever you do, don’t spank me.”<br />
Mike put the rest of my food in my lap and closed the door, letting me keep
my free hand so I can continue to eat. I appreciated that.<br />
We got to La Push in what seemed half the time. I was not ready for this.
When Mike slid open the van door he saw it clearly all over my face because his
whole demeanor changed from the friendly guy I knew growing up, to an officer
of the law, in charge of controlling me. “Alright now, Swan. You’re going to be
fine. There is nothing here you need to fight.”<br />
I am looking around wild eyed and seeing people peeking out from windows and
the porch, watching me. “Give me a smoke.” I said inching back into the van.<br />
Mike was shaking his head tugging on the cuffs lightly. “Come on Swan, you
know I can’t do that. Just come on out and meet the nice people and they will
make sure you are calm and –”<br />
I sighed scrubbing my face and looked out the front windshield seeing two
large people heading towards the van and I snapped my head back to Mike.
“Bullshit, those guys don’t look calm at all, Newton. They are going to stick me with shit
to make me sleep and keep me all fucked up like the hospital. No, fuck this
shit Mike. Take me back, I’ll go to prison instead.”<br />
Mike looked up at the house and growled out orders. “Hey, seriously you
think charging the van is a good idea. No, go back up in the house and stay out
of the way.” He looked back at me and nodded. “Okay listen, I will let you have
a smoke if you come out here. I don’t want you smoking in my nice van, okay?”<br />
I narrowed my eyes at him but made my way back forward and slowly out of the
van looking towards the door again for anyone else trying to rush up on me.
Mike fixed the cuffs so they latched in the front. He reached in his pocket,
pulled out my pack of smokes handing them to me, and waited for me to put one
in my mouth before lighting it for me.<br />
I took a deep drag and felt instantly calmer.<br />
“Better?” Mike asked, watching my face. I nodded and jumped when a short,
pretty native woman appeared next to me. Mike smiled. “Swan, this is Sue, she
is no threat. She will keep those two boneheads away, right?” Mike was nodding
towards the front door of the house and Sue nodded smiling brightly.<br />
“They are trained to assist in drop offs of this kind, I had not yet
informed then that it wasn’t needed, I apologize.” She beamed at me and I only
nodded. Her niceness was creeping me out. I finished my smoke and Mike walked
with me towards the door only to be stopped by Sue. She looked pointedly at my
wrists.<br />
“Is this really needed, I mean we are going to have to have them off while
she is here, you might as well show her that we trust her now, just as much as
when you are not here.” She said smiling sweetly.<br />
I smirked at Mike as he sighed, reaching into his pocket and grabbing the
key to unlock me. I rubbed my free wrists and followed Sue as she continued
walking into the house and up the stairs.<br />
“You are going to have the large room at the end here. It is so large
because it is a shared room.” I made a face and she just smiled unlocking the
room and then handing me the key. “You are sharing there—”<br />
She pointed to another frame with a curtain halfway across inside the room
that was joined to an identical room. No solid door, no lock, no handle. “This
is going to be Jared’s room, whom you will meet tonight in about an hour when
we have our first meeting. You are welcome to wash up and head down to the
kitchen if you would like. There are plenty of leftovers from tonight.”<br />
I looked over at Mike who shrugged and bent to one knee as he grabbed my
ankle. I held still, knowing the drill. It was not my first ankle jewelry that
the state had issued me. Ms. Sue was obviously not happy about this but she
kept her mouth closed and gestured around the room. “Now you can decorate if
you like, but please nothing like paint or that requires you to make holes in
the walls.”<br />
I nodded looking around. Mike got finished and then held my arms looking
down at me. “I put my cell number in your duffle. If you need anything or you
are prepared to do something that will get you sent back to Tyler, call me.”<br />
I looked up at him and wanted to glare, but really, he was the closest I
have been to a person in 10 years. I nodded and grinned. “See ya, boss.”<br />
He nodded and headed for the door and I looked around again, plopping on the
bed with a little bounce. It was a good three seconds before I realized Sue was
still in the room. I sat up and looked at her.<br />
The weird constant smile was still on her face. “Was there anything you
wanted me to wash?”<br />
I shook my head and she nodded brightly and headed for the door closing it
behind her. I sighed and shook my head.<br />
Alright, so this is the new home. Shit.The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-55631344848366224662014-02-03T21:26:00.000-08:002014-02-04T13:24:30.980-08:00POSTED: The Home<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
(Signed: Kyle Lockheart = Rachel) <br />
<br />
Rachel<br />
Chapter 1<br />
<br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
“Rachel Black, Judge Harris will
see you now.” As my name was called by the desk clerk my eyes cut to
Jacob who was sitting next to me with his head in his hands, disappointment
running off him like rain off sleek leaves. When his eyes met mine he offered a
forced smile of encouragement, affectionately slapping my knee as he stood
waiting for me to follow. I swallowed hard telling myself to stand as they both
watched me in silence waiting. I sat there trying to find some courage to stand
on my own but my body suddenly weighed me down.</div>
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Taking a deep breath, Jacob walked
back over to me offering me his hand helping me to my feet, both his hands
gently rested on my shoulders, his knees bent so we were at eye level. “I
promise you it’s going to be ok. You just need to be honest. Ok Sis?” Even I
could hear the doubt hidden in his throat behind his raspy whisper. All I could
do was nod once; follow his lead in to the private courthouse.</div>
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My Lawyer was standing waiting for
my arrival. I could feel everyone’s eyes bore into me making me anxious. I
walked to my seat tugging at the collar of my shirt. My hands were shaking, my
throat was dry all I could do was sit awkwardly. “On one account Forgery in the
second degree, one count felony theft and possession of a controlled substance,
one account petit theft misdemeanor, how does your defendant plea?” Judge
Harris wasted no time proceeding. The room was dead silent with the exception
of the legal aid typing all responses. My hands nervously twisted in my lap, my
body started itching making me shift uncomfortably in my seat. Judge Harris’s
eyes cut to me with a narrow glare silently telling me to settle down.
“Guilty, Your honor.” He paused for a moment looking down at me. I
looked up feeling both my lawyer and the judge’s eyes fall heavily on me. </div>
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“Ms. Black you understand the
serious nature of your crimes?” His words made my stomach turn uneasy, I slowly
stood. “Yes your honor, I do now.” I forced myself to mutter in a shaken tone.
“Let the court show Ms. Rachel Black has entered her guilty plea on all
accounts.” All I could think was, ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">fuck I
am going to jail’</i>. Jacob said this was a good lawyer but so far all he has
done was shown I am a dirty druggy criminal. </div>
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“My client is not a hardened criminal;
she has not ever committed a crime until recently. As you can see by her file
Ms. Black has always excelled academically. Her older Brother, Jacob black is a
highly decorated detective in the La Push Intelligence Unit. Rachel has
completed her mandatory 60 day rehab program with outstanding review. I would
like to recommend Ms. Black be released into the custody and supervision of
Jacob black. Mr. Black has expressed his deepest concerns and is willing to
take full responsibility for his sister’s actions. He believes it is in her
best interest that she is to be released to her family in her time of need.”</div>
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The Judge was over reading my file
when the DA began to speak. “Your Honor, We recommend that Ms. Black not do
hard time, but is not released into custody of her family as they had no idea
of the seriousness of the nature of crime ms. Black was dabbling in. Rachel
Back’s actions have shown a lack of self-control and rapidly growing addiction.
When Ms .Black was found, she had two medical pads worth of filled prescriptions.
The Doctors who worked on pumping Rachel Black’s stomach are baffled that she
even lived to make it to the hospital.” I could hear Jacob growl low from
behind me as the DA spoke of me. “Objection, Hearsay.” My lawyer stood in
a snap with an outraged and demanding gesture towards the DA.</div>
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“Sustained. This is not a trial hearing;
keep your argument to facts not of those that a witness is not present to
validate.” The judge said in the direction towards the DA. “I have heard enough
as it is. Ms. Black,” I stood back up when his attention was brought back
to me. My chest was tight making it impossible to breathe with ease. “I am
recommending you to the La Push Home for Women for the next 6 months. You will
continue your therapy sessions; you are on probation for the next year. Once
you get settled an officer will come to see to explain further. I do not want
to see you back in my court house for another charge or allegation. Get your
life back on track.” I looked at the judge confused I nodded, but didn’t
quite understand where he was sending me exactly. His gavel banged and that was
it, everyone began to quietly file out of the court house. My Lawyer was
smiling looking at me.</div>
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“Home for woman?” I questioned as
he packed up his things. “Isn’t that like jail?” I asked upset that I was not
going to go home. “No, it’s a halfway house for women who are in a similar
situation as you. You can come and go freely but you have curfew among other
rules.” </div>
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“Rules?” I scoffed turning around
to look for Jacob who was looking down on his phone texting. I couldn’t read
his face. I watched for a few moments trying to pick up on if he was upset or
relieved. “You are getting off with a slap on the wrist Rachel. If I were you I
would be jumping for joy. You could have gotten up to 15 years for stealing the
prescription pads alone.”</div>
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“Fine, I understand. Can we go get
some real food before we go?” I asked as Jacob walked over shaking my Lawyers
hand thanking him. Suddenly as they spoke I wasn’t there. Jacob seemed to have
all the answers to questions about me. My Lawyer agreed with every word he
said, they both lumped me in this category of drug addicts that did it for the
hell of it. They spoke as if they knew why I did everything I did. Hell I
didn’t even know why I let myself go out of control the way I did.</div>
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It all seemed to happen in a fast
pace blur. I mean one minute I am standing over my late father’s coffin
beginning for forgiveness and then the next waking up in a hospital bed with my
arms restraint down to the bed, a pounding headache and only very vague
memories of the months between. I had been studying for the Mcat
while also working in Dr. Cullen’s office as a medical assistant. All my days
ran together, I hardly had time to eat let alone sleep between school, Work,
Studying. Jacob worked for days at a time between cases. We both took care of
dad we had a strict schedule but we made it work.</div>
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When Dad passed away I was in my
room studying, Jacob was home catching up on sleep. It was the first time we
all were in the same house in weeks. The hardest thing for us both was putting
him to rest, but at least Jacob put daddy to rest with a clear conscious. Mine
on the other hand was not, but if Jacob knew he would kill me himself. I kept
everything about that last day to myself which lead to sleepless nights, bad
eating habits; I started to lose focus in class. I was a nervous wreck. Dr. Cullen
noticed the change in my behavior he assumed it was me avoiding mourning my
father and offered to prescribe me something to help relax me. He only wanted
to help me, and considering that he refused to press charges I know he felt
guilty for getting me started though it was entirely my fault. </div>
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The first pills I took where
Lorazepam I remember lying in bed in for the first time in a long time I felt
strangely at peace, everything was just suddenly ok. I smiled thinking of
my dad and didn’t feel so guilty. I actually got the sleep I needed and the
next day I woke up refreshed and ready to start my day. Only by lunch time
panic started to creep up on me. I wave of reality hit me and I was all
over the place again. As soon as I got home I took another pill and feel back
into the state of peace and comfort. After that I was taking the pills two
times a day until I ran out. Dr. Cullen did express some concern when I had
told him I was out. He mentioned that the bottle should have lasted me
just over a month not weeks. Reluctantly he gave me another prescription and
everything went downhill from there. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Jacob had no Idea I was even taking
anything, he just thought I was moving forward in life and was happy I was
doing so. He would never question me even though there was a few times I
suspected he was suspiciously watching my movements. Towards the end I was
becoming extremely paranoid. I felt as if the world was watching me, as if they
all knew my secret and were waiting for me to crack. I found myself taking two
and even three pills at a time trying to get back the peaceful calm that I
first got with the high. I was desperate to have the pills fix me without me
doing any of the work. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Dr. Cullen cut me off, he said he
felt I was losing site of the purpose of the medication and urged me to seek
out help, to talk to someone about what I was feeling. I heard
every word he said and I knew he was completely right but refused to face my
secret sober. I didn’t want to think about it, so why would I talk about it?
Dr. Cullen truly trusted me, and even I don’t know why I stole that
prescription pad. I knew it was wrong but that outweighed the overwhelming
urges to feel normal, to have peace to not look in the mirror and hate myself.
I had gotten to a low point. Jacob was always busy with work that when he
was home if I hide in my room long enough he would be off to the next case.
I ended up really feeling worse then I did in the beginning. I was always
shaking, nervous, and paranoid. I would avoid any mirrors. I stopped showing up
to class and work. I don’t even know what I really did in all that time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
One of the last things I remember
was walking past my mirror, pure hate washing over me making my blood boil.
When I saw myself looking back at me I screamed grabbed my cell phone and
smashed the hell out of the mirror. Pieces flew around me, in my hair down my
shirt in even my mouth but what caught my attention was my bottle of pills
falling open to the floor spilling everywhere. I dropped to my knees not even
caring the shards of glass where stabbing into me. I had lost all self-control.
I started shoving pills into my mouth and before long falling back onto the
floor. The peace I was searching over started to trickle over me, my breathing
slowed and I could hear my daddy calling out my name everything got extremely
hazy until it all faded into emptiness.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
When I woke up my arms had been
restraint down, there was a man standing guard by my bed side I had no idea
where I was or how long I had been there. When I started to scream like I was
being tortured a team of doctors ran in telling me to calm down that I was in a
hospital, I had been admitted after a drug overdose and I was reentrant because
apparently and I do not remember this but I had woken up twice before and went
on a rampage trying to hurt myself. I was told I kept screaming out for god to
bring my father back and demanding he end my life because he knew I didn’t
deserve to live.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I had begun to pull on the
restraints demanding I be let go crying about them holding me against my will.
It’s when I noticed Jacob was standing off in the corner with a hand over his
mouth tears filling the rims of his eyes as he helplessly watched that calmed
me down. The look in his eyes was devastating to me. All I could do was sob. I
was embarrassed he had seen me like this. He looked at me as if I was a total
stranger.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
They ended up putting me on a 72
hour mental health hold, and after I was cleared there, Jacob shipped me off to
a rehab where I learned there was felony charges brought against me by the
state. Jacob came after the first 30 days to visit but it took me awhile to
even be able to look at him. He still doesn’t know everything even though my
therapist has been encouraging me to bring him into sessions to talk to him
about it all. I just wasn’t there yet. I need my brother and if he knew the
truth he would never want to see me again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
“Hey look, it doesn’t look so bad
from the outside. It’s real nice compared to our house.” Jacobs’s voice broke
my train of thought as we pulled up to the home. I looked over at him
nervously; this time when he smiled it was real. I took a deep breath and
nodded trying to keep the mood light. “Yeah I bet the walls are not as thin I
won’t have to wear ear plugs to keep from hearing you snore all night.” I
couldn’t help but to laugh a little opening my car door. “Me?” Jacob snorted a
laugh “Baby Sis you get woken up by your own snores” He laughed out opening the
truck to his car getting my luggage out. I smiled at him looking at the house where
I will be staying.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
A few of the girls sitting around
the front porch all turned to watch us as if we were escaped zoo animals.
I walked back around the car to Jacob just about to beg for him to get me
out of here when I heard a soft voice come up from behind us. “Hello and
Welcome to La Push home for Woman; I am your house mother, Sue Clearwater.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
“Hello Mrs. Clearwater my name is Jacob
and this is my sister Rachel.” Jacob said with a shit eating grin shaking
her hand. I stayed where I was and just waved to her. Jacob furrowed his eyes
disapprovingly at me so I swallowed my tentativeness and walked over shaking
her hand. “It’s nice to meet you Mrs. Clearwater.” I said sticking my hand out
to shake hers but she grabbed it and pulled me into a hug, rubbing my back. “Please,
call me Sue sweetheart. I am here as your friend not probation officer. He will
be here a little later after we get you settled in.” her hug was warm and
welcoming I don’t know why I felt as though I have known her in another life
but I was suddenly thankful to be where I was. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
“Come along now, Jacob you can
bring Rachel’s things up with us. I’ll show you to the room and then around the
house.” Sue held my hand, walking towards the house she gave one look to the
other girls and they all scattered. I looked back to see Jacob right behind me
before tripping over the doorway stumbling in the house.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
“Careful there is a step there.”
Sue teased heading towards the stairs, I could hear Jacob chuckle low. I
narrowed my eyes at him daring to tease me right now. He just winked and nodded
for me to follow. I started up the stairs looking around at how plan everything
was I sucked a breath through my teeth shaking my head as my eyes scanned. “So
like are we not allowed to be colorful? I am not dying my hair to some boring
brown. “ </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
“Rachel do you honestly think
you’ll get a job with a rainbow of a hairstyle?” Jacob said just as Sue stopped
in front of a door. “I think your hair is pretty, you can keep it the way it
is. But this is a home of recovery. Your focus should be on your health
not what is on the walls sweetie. “Sue said with a genuine smile. Jacob walked
passed me tugging at my hair, I swatted his hand away fixing my hair walking
into the room. It was all white; White walls, white sheets, plain boring all
white. It was like the rehab center and smelled frankly worst too. “You may
decorate as you wish; But nothing permanent; No paint, no holes in the wall. Go
ahead and clean up get settled in. Our first group meeting is tonight, after
dinner. Dinner is at 7 pm. Curfew is at 6:30pm. We do a bed check at 8pm. If
you are not in your bedroom by then you will be reported as missing and your
privileges revoked. The rest of the rules will be given out during our meeting.
I will let you two say your goodbyes.” With that she left the room.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
Jacob sat down on the bed I stood
in front of him. It’s really the first time we have been alone since my melt
down. I looked down at my feet kicking around an imaginary rock. “You know I
love you Rachel, right?” He mumbled looking down at his own feet.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I let out a long sigh sitting
beside him laying my head on his shoulder. “Yeah I know. I am sorry about all
this. I know it must be embarrassing for you with work and all.” I mumbled
back, Jacob put an arm over my shoulders shaking his head before leaning his
cheek against the top of my head. “No. What it is, is scary. I thought I lost
you like we lost dad. “I could hear his tone crack unevenly. I couldn’t say
anything back we just sat there in silence. We could have sat here like
that forever but Jacob’s phone went off and that was his queue to leave. “I’ll
come by in a few days after you get settled in ok?” He said giving me his
famous brother bear hug.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
I hanged on to him a moment longer
before letting him go. “Yeah ok, I’ll be here.” I said sarcastically, Jacob
kissed my cheek messing up the top of my hair then walked out shutting the door
behind him.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
Just like that I was left alone, I let out a loud sigh falling back on the bed
looking up at the ceiling twirling a stain of hair in my finger bored out of my
mind and I have only been here all of ten minutes. Rubbing my face I kicked off
my shoes to get comfortable hearing a loud ringing noise like some sort of
bell. I assumed it was the dinner bell but decided to skip dinner tonight. I
wasn’t feeling like having a bunch of people staring at me like some puppy in a
window. The thought made me think of my childhood when Dad would take Jacob and
me fishing. The drive over dad would always sing that song to us. Jacob always
made the barking noise to be funny. I started to hum it, then softly sing it to
myself. “How much is that doggy in the window? The one with the wagging tail.
How much is that doggy in the window? I do hope he is for sale.” I ended up
singing myself into a deep sleep dreaming of an easier time.</div>
<br />
<br />
<br />The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-2046991647274517472014-01-27T23:18:00.004-08:002014-02-03T14:16:38.748-08:00The HomeHELLO THERE! This is a story teaser on a new story that is being coauthored by THREE awesome writers. There is <u><b>RealEyesRealizeRealLiez</b></u> who has written with me before so I can attest to her brilliance, even though she doesn't have anything posted on FanFiction.Net. <u><b>Kyla Lockheart</b></u>, who has 12 amazing stories on Fanfiction.Net and who I have also written with as well. Then there is me, <u><b>Blacksheep Fiction</b></u>, whom you all know and at least tolerate. :)<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RnHExDUxV30/UudXIu_fmMI/AAAAAAAAFCo/R2qFy51aYXc/s1600/La-Push-twilight-series-1379285-600-450.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RnHExDUxV30/UudXIu_fmMI/AAAAAAAAFCo/R2qFy51aYXc/s1600/La-Push-twilight-series-1379285-600-450.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
<i><b>FanFiction: Twilight</b></i><br />
<i><b>Non-Cannon</b></i><br />
<i><b>Humor, Drama, Romance</b></i> <br />
<br />
This is the story of three very different lives, told by three very different woman. They hall have lead very different lives, but no mater what paths they took, it's ended them up here: La Push Home for Women. <br />
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<u><b>Leah</b></u>: Leah has had her share of run ins with the law, even stayed a stint at a mental facility, but now they have given her a chance at recovery at La Push Home for Women. It may not be what she was expecting, but it becomes everything she wants.<br />
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<u><b>Rachel:</b></u> After her father dies, she loses her grip on life and self control. She has shamed her brother, the only family she has left, and is now paying the consequences. In order to stay out of jail, she has to clean up her life and learn to stand on her own two feet again at La Push Home for Woman. What if the key to being good, is being a little bad?<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mkkoW6ToTDk/UudXVA8pAsI/AAAAAAAAFC4/2TVR2HiU9pU/s1600/Summer-Glau.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mkkoW6ToTDk/UudXVA8pAsI/AAAAAAAAFC4/2TVR2HiU9pU/s1600/Summer-Glau.jpg" height="320" width="228" /></a></div>
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<b><u>Swan</u></b>: The ugliness in her past has brought her to violent and close to psychotic behavior. By the grace of a judge that new her now long gone family, she gets sent to La Push Home for Women on her very last chance to shape up and come to grips with what happened to her in the past. Two strangers become the only family she has and she doesn't even know it yet. <br />
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And of course... THE BOYS:<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FPtwsvYY4i8/UudXcgCysnI/AAAAAAAAFDE/ze-8nr51wPw/s1600/1619194_617209464994385_1661792690_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-FPtwsvYY4i8/UudXcgCysnI/AAAAAAAAFDE/ze-8nr51wPw/s1600/1619194_617209464994385_1661792690_n.jpg" height="320" width="260" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jake, Rachel's brother and only family left. Also happens to be a cop in La Push.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-y1VnSZcnVnc/UudXeJCEzxI/AAAAAAAAFDM/3G5_dM6X1KA/s1600/1545614_616727998375865_468387000_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-y1VnSZcnVnc/UudXeJCEzxI/AAAAAAAAFDM/3G5_dM6X1KA/s1600/1545614_616727998375865_468387000_n.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jasper, Leah's Counselor and smooth, sensitive, and understanding friend for her.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NE_sWAsufio/UudXgiLMr8I/AAAAAAAAFDc/l8U0c5kPREs/s1600/1779153_617752514940080_1717022957_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NE_sWAsufio/UudXgiLMr8I/AAAAAAAAFDc/l8U0c5kPREs/s1600/1779153_617752514940080_1717022957_n.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Quil Ateara, Leah's Parole officer </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vzuaKAQjGEw/UudXnv1znRI/AAAAAAAAFDk/rM3eLK8LSBE/s1600/Arrow-Promotional-Cast-Stephen-Amell.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vzuaKAQjGEw/UudXnv1znRI/AAAAAAAAFDk/rM3eLK8LSBE/s1600/Arrow-Promotional-Cast-Stephen-Amell.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mike Newton, Swan's only close friend and also her Parole officer</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-K8KYcbNDHPs/UudXqiFag3I/AAAAAAAAFDs/0EBNCq7pFmM/s1600/the-hills-justin-bobby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-K8KYcbNDHPs/UudXqiFag3I/AAAAAAAAFDs/0EBNCq7pFmM/s1600/the-hills-justin-bobby.jpg" height="320" width="304" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jared, Swan's 24/7 counselor who's job it is to tame her anger and help accept her past.</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xiqkgnEnER8/UvAVFhxXEUI/AAAAAAAAFEI/4kv2hn9F4Vw/s1600/paul.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-xiqkgnEnER8/UvAVFhxXEUI/AAAAAAAAFEI/4kv2hn9F4Vw/s1600/paul.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sgt. Paul Lahote is Rachel's parole officer and brother's old friend.</td></tr>
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<br />The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-74370321675224861752014-01-15T07:49:00.003-08:002014-01-15T07:50:07.901-08:00Dissociative Identity Video 2 (Emmett and Bella)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-2779363919208898012014-01-15T07:48:00.001-08:002014-01-15T07:48:11.929-08:00A little comedy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-43571325285033721292014-01-14T22:08:00.001-08:002014-01-16T11:54:31.553-08:00Building my Newest Story Idea coming from Life After People Documentaries: <br />
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(BELLA)
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(SETH)<br />
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Scenes...<br />
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REF: <a href="http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/life-after-people/">http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/life-after-people/</a><br />
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<br />The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-80355348754295254872013-09-30T22:27:00.000-07:002013-09-30T22:27:14.037-07:00Dissociative Identity VideoThere was more damage done then a little broken heart or abandonment
issues when Edward left her in the woods that day. What happened drove
her to insanity, literally.<br />
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<a href="http://blacksheepfiction.blogspot.com/2013/09/dissociative-identity_12.html">The Story is here</a>.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/03O--AYMEKc?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-54734263433334824882013-09-24T09:09:00.000-07:002013-09-24T09:10:10.664-07:00Banned Books Week<br />
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Each year in September, the <strong>American Library Association</strong> celebrates <a href="http://www.bannedbooksweek.org/about">Banned Books Week</a>.
Since 1982, more than 11,000 books have been challenged in libraries
and bookstores. In response to this, the ALA started Banned Books Week
which celebrates the “Freedom to Read.”<br />
So to kick off banned books week, lets just jump right in to the
nitty gritty–aka, the most banned books from 2012. Interestingly, <strong>Captain Underpants</strong> comes in at number one for billionth year in a row.<br />
<ol>
<li>
<div>
<em>Captain Underpants</em> (series), by Dav Pilkey<br />
Reasons: Offensive language, unsuited for age group</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>
<em>The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian</em>, by Sherman Alexie<br />
Reasons: Offensive language, racism, sexually explicit, unsuited for age group</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>
<em>Thirteen Reasons Why</em>, by Jay Asher<br />
Reasons: Drugs/alcohol/smoking, sexually explicit, suicide, unsuited for age group</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>
<em>Fifty Shades of Grey</em>, by E. L. James.<br />
Reasons: Offensive language, sexually explicit</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>
<em>And Tango Makes Three</em>, by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson.<br />
Reasons: Homosexuality, unsuited for age group</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>
<em>The Kite Runner</em>, by Khaled Hosseini.<br />
Reasons: Homosexuality, offensive language, religious viewpoint, sexually explicit</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>
<em>Looking for Alaska</em>, by John Green.<br />
Reasons: Offensive language, sexually explicit, unsuited for age group</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>
<em>Scary Stories</em> (series), by Alvin Schwartz<br />
Reasons: Unsuited for age group, violence</div>
</li>
<li>
<div>
<em>The Glass Castle</em>, by Jeanette Walls<br />
Reasons: Offensive language, sexually explicit</div>
</li>
<li>
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<em>Beloved</em>, by Toni Morrison Reasons: Sexually explicit, religious viewpoint, violence</div>
</li>
</ol>
Do you read banned books? Do you agree with book banning? Leave a comment and post your thoughts!<br />
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(REPOST AND ALL CREDIT FROM: http://www.bestdamncreativewritingblog.com/and-the-most-banned-book-in-america-is-still/ )The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-42842228304987642502013-09-21T09:55:00.000-07:002013-09-21T10:54:47.115-07:00Music in My HeartI would just like to take the time out to slow down and recognize this amazing artist and my dear friend Clay. Give him some love because he is just... mind blowing with how amazing he is!
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Dissociative Identity: <br />
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<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9677731/1/Dissociative-Identity">Story</a><br />
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Swan Brothers:<br />
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The Wolf:<br />
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<a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Wolf/257869837675349">Facebook Page</a><br />
The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-4165478614044750562013-09-15T09:25:00.000-07:002013-09-15T09:25:47.281-07:009 Tips to Writing a Solid Fanfiction (or any story for that matter) <div id="posts">
<br /> <br /><br />1. Your story needs to be grammatically correct. <br /><br />2. The dialogue needs to be punctuated correctly (if you don’t know how to do this, ask or use google!). <br /><br />3. Your protagonist needs to undergo a change. This does not - and perhaps should not be - a massive change. The change can be the beginning of a change. But there must be a recognizable change - otherwise there is no story. <br /><br />4. The story must have a plot. Something must happen .Again, it doesn’t have to be a big, complicated plot with explosions and warfare. It can be very simple. But it must have a plot. The story must go somewhere. <br /><br />5. Your characters should be flawed. And bad things should happen to them. Don’t protect your characters. Nobody wants to read Mary Sues. <br /><br />(but just as a side note, flawed does not mean victimized. Victimized means things happen to them, and it’s sad and all, but they have played no role and hold no fault in the outcome of their problems.) <br /><br />6. Your story should have a clear, consistent POV. <br /><br />7. Your story should have a consistent verb tense, preferably simple past. Present tense is fine, but it’s tough to do. <br /><br />8. If you include graphic subject matter, it must be organic to the story. If you write violent scenes just to be writing them, or for shock value and they don’t advance the plot or characterization, then the scenes don’t belong there. (Unless you’re writing PWP, then go on with your bad self) <br /><br />9. Have fun. Writing should be fun. Write from your heart and your gut. Write what makes you uncomfortable and uneasy. Take risks. Remember what it was like when you were a kid and someone said “Once Upon A Time…” Write what you know. Write what you don’t know. Entertain us, move us, scare us. Do something to us. Change us. <br /><br />Write something that matters. </div>
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(REF: http://ffisdangerous.tumblr.com/post/42317969975/9-tips-to-writing-a-solid-fanfiction-or-any-story-for )</div>
The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5034475531417300853.post-29312514612095359782013-09-12T18:57:00.000-07:002013-09-12T18:57:11.469-07:00Dissociative Identity<br />
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Chapter 1<br />
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<br />He was talking to me again, his voice blended with those of the people around me. These are the people that talk at me and about me but never to me, the people that can see me and not him. He mocks them all and mocks me. He never shuts up.<br /><br />I glare at the pale translucent figure of someone I once thought I loved. Whom am I kidding, if that form ever showed up again, solid and real, I would love him all over again, no questions asked.<br /><br />This boy left me alone. Stranded, in the middle of no where. I feel someone tugging at me and I jerk away looking back, it's only Jake. His mouth was moving but I didn't hear any of the words that were coming from him. My poor cousin, Jake. He had to look after me when I was at school and just to know whom I was alone is a good way to gain the status of social leper. The fact that we were family just doomed him from the start. I wasn't always like this. I used to be normal, until …<br /><br />"Bella, get off of her! You're going to kill her, get off of her!" his voice penetrated the annoying voice of the ghost-boy and I paused, taking stalk of what was going on around me. There was a girl that I had apparently been sitting on. Her face was bloody and her eyes rolled back. By the blood on my bruised and broken knuckles, I would say that it was probably my fault she got that way.<br /><br />I let Jake finally pull me away with the help of a few teachers and I glared at the boy whom only I saw. I hated him with just as much passion that I loved him with. "Why do you do this to me?" I screamed, but the fog was clearing from my head, which means he will leave and I will come back to reality where I am talked at and about but not to. There was a circle of kids around me backing up when I got close to them. I smiled because it was a defense, to use the crazy to my advantage. Only then did I realize that my victim must have had a few good hits in because I tasted blood, which probably made me looked pretty well over the disturbed fence.<br /><br />Not that I wasn't there already.<br /><br />"Jesus Bella, you really did it this time." Jake was whispering as he lead me away. "I don't think I can talk you out of trouble this time. They might even call Charlie."<br /><br />I snapped my eyes to his tugging on his arm. "No, please don't let them call Charlie. I will behave. I didn't mean to do it. I didn't even know I was doing it."<br /><br />"Bella, saying shit like that doesn't help." He said sighing as we made out way to the nurses office. "This is bad Bella. You know Charlie said that if he had to get one more call from the school, they will put you in the home."<br /><br />I gave up yanking him in the other direction. He wasn't budging. "I will promise. I will tell them it was an accident."<br /><br />Jake turned and faced me, his hands on my shoulders. "Bella, the girl was just sitting there. She wasn't even facing you. You attacked her for no reason."<br /><br />I stared back, keeping my gaze steady as I could. "Edward was there. Mocking me, telling me how weak I was."<br /><br />Jake was already shaking his head sadly. "He is gone. He was a boy that fucked up your head and left you in broken pieces on the forest floor, but he is gone. He is never coming back."<br /><br />He didn't understand! He is back, everywhere I fucking look! I started to cry but stopped and turned away. Fine, he wouldn't come with me when I left, I would go by myself. I started to walk away only to be stopped again by a security guard that had snuck up right behind me. He had on the crisp white security uniform on that contrasted with his darker skin. He was Indian, probably hating his job. Hating me I could tell by the way he had his arms crossed and was looking down at me with what I am guessing was his most impressive intimidating stare.<br /><br />A familiar voice whispered in my ear. 'He is in your way. He wants you locked up.'<br /><br />I narrowed my eyes at the guard with his shiny black name tag that read Gamble. Pfft, right, like that's his real name. "Move out of my way, I am leaving."<br /><br />"I am told that you are to go to the office, Ms. Swan and to make sure you do." His voice was deep and scratchy.<br /><br />'Don't let him stop you. It's only him standing between you and freedom.' His voice was getting that taunting edge that drove me mad. How can he be so cocky? He was the one that was making me insane in the first place. 'You're keeping me close, that isn't insane.'<br /><br />I grabbed my temples and growled at the voice. "Fuck, just leave me alone, I can do this without you!"<br /><br />I felt a large hand on my shoulder and then nothing…<br /><br />I was spitting and kicking and scratching anyone in my reach. "Fuck you! Let me go! Fuck you!"<br /><br />I looked around and I was three blocks away from the school and being cuffed and man handled into the back of a police car. Charlie's police car, if we are being accurate. Which I think is important that we are.<br /><br />He was standing behind the people that had just successfully got me into the back of the cruiser, right next to security officer Gamble who now had a broken nose and three scratches that were bleeding pretty good down his face.<br /><br />I watched as Charlie spoke to everyone and they shook their heads, looking at me with pity in their eyes and back at him again. After he told whatever sad story, probably my sad story, to the on lookers, he got into his car and just sat there with his head in his hands.<br /><br />"You know what I have to do, right?" It was over ten minutes before he spoke and I had to lean forward in my seat since he asked so lightly.<br /><br />"You're going to lock me up like some fucking animal." I snapped, wishing my hands were free so I could punch the cage that separated us.<br /><br />Charlie half turned in his seat, looking at me with pleading eyes. I just stared back with my livid ones. "You know I don't want you to go away. I only just got you and only because your mother passed away."<br /><br />"She died Charlie. If you are going to use it as a cop-out, then you might as well get it right." I growled moving my face close to the cage. "She got plastered on the highway by a semi truck driving to her boy friends house."<br /><br />Charlie flinched but I wasn't sorry. She was cheating on him and karma got her hit by a car. Sounded like a fair trade-off if you ask me.<br /><br />"Isabella! Stop this! Is all this really worth some heartbreak over a boy?"<br /><br />No it wasn't, but I won't tell him that. I just stared at him.<br /><br />It didn't faze Charlie in the least. He was geared up for a lecture and he was going to give one if it was the last thing he did. "He was a boy Bella. There are a lot of boys in the world—"<br /><br />'Am I really just some boy? You loved everything about me, you even now love to hate me.' He was right.<br /><br />"— You need to move past this whole thing and since you cant do this on your own, then I am going to help you." I missed the middle part of that speech, but I assume it was meant to be up lifting and inspirational.<br /><br />I didn't feel up lifted or inspired. "You're going to lock me away because you're ashamed of me."<br /><br />"Bella, you don't seriously believe that." He sighed and rubbed his face. "The parents of the girl you attacked are pressing charges unless you get help."<br /><br />That was it. Charlie told me when I came to live with him that i could basically do as I pleased, as long as it didn't result in him picking me up as a cop (fail on that) or getting put into jail. (Most recent fail. Good job.)<br /><br />"You are going to the hospital. They are going to do an evaluation and then admit you to the home from there." With that, Charlie started the cruiser and drove.<br /><br />I laid back across the seat and watched the street lights and clouds go by in the sky. Charlie didn't even stop to go home and get clothes.<b><i></i></b><br />
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<b><i>(<a href="http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9677731/2/Dissociative-Identity">Chapter 2...</a>)</i></b>The Black Sheephttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12515464637906323285noreply@blogger.com0