POSTED: The Home

                                                  Signed: Kyla Lockheart = Rachel

 I was in the deepest sleep I have been in since my life turned upside, when I was woken up by a loud booming bang on the door. I jumped up out of bed with wide eyes as the door flung open and a man entered at once giving me a sideways glare.

 “Black?” He questioned as his eyes scanned the room suspiciously, he looked at me again lifting a brow when I didn’t answer him taking a step forward flipping open a folder.  I just stood there frozen in place giving him my own glare. The man shut the file, I am assuming was mine, tossing it on the dresser moving his hand to his hip pulling his leather jacket back slightly showing me his badge. I let out a breath I wasn’t aware I was holding and sat back on the bed. “My Name is Rachel.” I mumbled running a hand threw my hair.

“Here” His tone was rough and unapproachable, and then again, so was everything about him. He threw a plastic cup at me unexpectedly and barked out. “Fill it up.” 

My head tilted picking it up looking over at him. “Are you my probation officer or some weirdo who likes to collect pee samples?” My eyes narrowed trying to more or less figure this guy out. I watched as his lip curled upward softening his scruffy facial features. “I am Sgt. Lahote and yes I am your probation officer. Now go take a piss for me.” He nodded his head towards the restroom.

“Um…Ok I guess.” I sighed getting up walking to the restroom attempting to kick the door closed behind me.

“Not so fast Black.” The sound of his voice so close behind me made me jump and spin around. I furrowed my brows, confused. I was just parting my lips to speak but he was quicker then I was. “Leave the door open.” He tone was steady full of authority and yet I still challenged him.

“Excuse me?” The disgust in my tone was obvious to a deaf man.

“I’m not going to watch but I need to listen. If that is a problem I have no issue calling Sue up here to physically watch you, or better yet I can haul you down to the station. Seeing as it’s your first day, and a first offence I thought I’d cut you a small break.” I scoffed staring at him, positive he was fucking with me, but when he reached for his cuffs I put my hands up quickly.

“Ok, ok, ok be disgusting and listen to me pee. Fuck.”  I sigh, waiting for him to walk away. He only gives me a nasty, smug smirk turning his back towards the open door. I unbuttoned my jeans wiggling around to push them down sitting on the toilet but knowing he was there listening made it hard to pee so I stood up turned the sink on and sat back down, of course, just as I started he walked right in. Can you believe that? He just walked in; eyes straight forward and turned the sink off and walked out. “You don’t want to be on my bad side Black. Do as you’re told when you are told and we won’t have any problems.”

I was not used to being treated like this. Back home, I was basically considered royalty due to my family’s Native Chief background. Before this mess I was never in trouble, hell I was never even suspended from school. I couldn’t really pee with this much silence so I tried to start a conversation.

 “My brother.” Before I could finish he cut me off. “Jacob Black. Yeah, I know him. Good person, but that doesn’t mean shit to me. You are here for your own stupidity, not his and I don’t think trying to get special treatment for who you happen to be related to is a wise move on your part.” His words stung, that was the last thing I was trying to do, receive special treatment on my brothers’ behalf. I finished up in silence having that annoying, overwhelming feeling of panic trickle over me.

‘Was anyone in my life ever going to look at me the same as before this mess?’ I thought walking out handing Sgt. Lahote the cup even though it was splashed a little with pee. He took it between his fingers clearing his throat walking back in the restroom setting it on the counter.  Sgt. Lahote began checking my urine I watched from the door, he looked up at me from the mirror. “You don’t have to watch me do this you can finish or from the looks of it start unpacking.”

“I am fine right here.” I say watching his every move, I heard him chuckle shaking his head looking up at me again once he dipped the test strip in the piss. “What is wrong? You think I am going to contaminate your test?” He grinned wickedly up at me; I simply shook my head shrugging.

“No, I was just wondering why you wouldn’t be wearing gloves and why you are so content with touching it.  I mean it is pee you’re handling. Are you sure you’re not a sick pee loving pervert?” I flashed him an innocent smile as his face fell more serious looking down at the test. I walked back towards the bed glancing out the window watching the few people outside. A van had pulled up and there was some commotion about an arriving guest, I guess.

“You’re clean. You want to tell me why you skipped dinner?” Sgt. Lahote asked walking towards me drying his hands clean. I shook my head not looking at him. I could feel him staring at me but I refused to look up, I just continued to watch them down stairs. I saw Sue and a parole officer had finally coaxed the woman out of the van. Her hands are cuffed in front of here and her parole officer handed her a pack of cigarettes and lights one for her. I heard Sgt. Lahote sigh behind me and him flipping through my folder again. Words spilled out before I could even stop myself, I was just tired of everyone tossing me in some category. It’s as if I am not even allowed to have my own identity anymore. I was now a percent of everyday drug users. I turned away from the window and looked at him full on.

 “You can’t judge someone based off someone else opinion on some damn piece of paper. “   I muttered crossing my arms starting to get annoy with this so called Sergeant. “Yeah, well in my line of work 9 out of 10 times facts don’t lie.” He flicked the file clicking his tongue. “Are you saying the Felony theft is a lie or how about the drug possession is that a lie?” His eyes scanned the file and suddenly his whole demeanor changed. I knew he was reading the attempted suicide and my melt down in the hospital. I flipped open my suite case that was packed messily, dumping it out trying to organize it.  Oddly I used to be very neat and clean. Jacob used to tease me about being bordered line OCD.

“No, I am not denying it. I have made my mistakes and I have admitted to them, but I am saying just because of how it was charged doesn’t mean my intentions were meant as harmful.” I spat out with anger, I was done with having everyone judge me. I will pay the price for my crimes but I refuse to be looked at as if I was some low life loser.

Sgt. Lahote didn’t even try to respond, clearly he didn’t give a fuck he went on to list more rules about this damn house and living here like me being here was a privilege and not a accurate punishment. “I will check up on you every other day until you give me reason for it to be less. Once a week you will take a drug test. You are not to be in any bars, clubs, or parties. If you fuck up I won’t give you a second chance. No, let me rephrase that, this is your second chance and there will not be another. You will go to jail. If you think you are going to get yourself into any kind of trouble you call me before you do not after. I can’t help you if you fuck up, then call me. I can’t stress it enough Talo, You will go to jail if you fuck up.” With that said he slipped his card in front of me on the dresser. I nodded in agreement and smiled small when he called me Talo; No one has called me that in a while. I guess mostly because I ashamed my Quileute Tribe.

“Do I make myself clear Black?” His deepening tone made me snap out of my thought process.  Sgt. Lahote's eyes had no trace of kindness. In fact he looked angered, enraged almost. My breathing picked up as I cowered at his tone, He must have noticed because he looked away almost regretful. “Yes, I understand.”  I finally submitted with a low mumble. “Alright, you have group sessions and also one on one I expect you to attend each one and to be on time. I will be getting reports on your progress. This means if you are not showing improvement you will be sent back to the judge.  Also you need to make sure you are eating right. It is part of my probation requirements. I don’t care what anyone else says, eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner are not a choice.”

My brow arched slowly listening to his rules; I leaned back against the wall folding my arms. He almost started to sound like he cared a little. My eyes glanced at the card he had left reading his full name I smiled. “Ok. Paul. You’re the boss. “I said meaning to lighten the heavy mood that thickened the air around us. His head snapped towards me making me back up fully against the wall swallowing hard. I instantly regretted my choice of words. “You are to address me as Sgt. Lahote, Nothing else. Am I clear?” My eyes fell to the floor I don’t know why but a lump began to rise in my throat. I could feel my cheeks brighten as he spoke down to me like some child.

 “Look, you might not like it but I do have a job to do. I have been strictly instructed on how to handle you and your case and I will do so. Your little tantrums won’t work on me. You committed a crime deal with it.”

Although his words where strong and upfront his tone was soft and shallow, when I glanced up at him he was looking at me with kind eyes, his stance was relaxed. “I know what I did. I am not trying to deny anything.  I deserve all that comes to me, even more than what I have been given. It is just a lot to deal with at once I guess.”  He rubbed the stubble on his chin looking into my eyes. He was trying to read me, to see if I was bullshitting him or not.  “I am glad you feel that way because I am not giving you any special treatment.” I couldn’t help but smile, he sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than me.

“I am fine with that.” I said without thinking, before I knew it he was stalking towards me. He flipped me against the wall in one swift movement; his cuffs flew out from absolutely nowhere.  The loud snap of the cuffs around my wrist made my body shiver I bit my lip hard hoping he didn’t notice.

His movement stopped for a moment I turned to look back at him his face was as if it was etched out of stone.  Any hint of friendliness had vanished behind his dark eyes. Lahote yanked me off the wall and out the room. I was too nervous to even try to speak. I turned red noticing a few of the girls hanging around watching the Sgt tow me down the hallway and down the stairs to the front of a closed door my eyes cut to his, his stayed on me as he reached over and opened the door to a room with a few girls sitting around and Sue who was reading a book of some sort.

The room was actually kind of upbeat and comforting. There was a girl that was carried in by some man she was mumbling about wanting to sleep but he wouldn’t let her. The other girls all gazed at me for a moment before going back to whatever they were doing.  Sue finally looked up at me sighing setting her book down standing up before she could say anything Sgt. Lahote was pushing me towards the inside of the room. He grabbed my wrist and un-cuffed one hand guiding me to a seat where he proceeded to cuff me to the chair.   Sue glared at him but before she could say anything he was out the door.

 “I see Sgt. Lahote has wasted no time in puffing his chest out and playing big bad Sergeant with you.” She kneeled down checking the tightness of the cuffs standing back up.

“So I have to stay like this the whole time?” My words came out whinier then I meant to sound.

“It depends on why you are in this situation. Did you mouth off sweetie?” Sue took a seat next to me.  “I called him by first name. If I am not allowed to then it shouldn’t be on his card.”  She laughed lightly patting my knee. “Sgt.Lahote takes some warming up to. He is a nice person when you get to know him; he is just rough around the edges. I am sure he will lighten up soon.” Sue smiled at me walking away to greet the other arriving girls.

I sat there looking around everyone had an officer with them.  One girl had two by her side. I made the mistake of making eye contact with her. “What the fuck are you looking at cunt, I’ll smash your pretty little face in!” She yelled directly at me making me flinch back in my seat. Both her guards snapped at her. The bigger one effortlessly pushed her shoulders down forcing her to sit back in her seat. I swear she snarled at me before turning her attention away.

A man in a suite carried another one in. She was really just mumbling about wanting to sleep I watched as he helped her sit up in a seat, she kept grinning seductively trying to inch her way back into his lap. “Isabella, I need you to behave now and try to pay attention. This group is going to help you” She cooed to her smoothing the hair out of her face. “I thought that was why they brought you in, to help me, why don’t you help me to bed and I’ll help you stay in bed.” She said with a lazy laugh.

I almost laughed when some other crazy ass bitch started to scream about seeing a camera in the tree watching her startled me. She went ballistic some of the other guards had to help hers carry her out. I looked around wondering if they are recording the session but the only tree I saw was in an oil painting on the wall. I jumped hearing a low chuckle from behind me when I looked up there stood Sgt. Lahote. As soon as I made eye contact with him his face set back into ice man mode looking straight ahead.

“Do I have to be cuffed for this?” I asked in a low whisper looking up. Lahote glanced down and nodded. “I don’t see anyone else having to sit here like this. Why do I? The other girl over there is clearly more of a threat then I am.” I started to whine, Lahote bent over some speaking low. “Because you’re a runner. You are going to hear things you won’t like and I don’t feel like chasing after you because Princess Talo doesn’t like what she is about to hear.” My eyes narrowed at him as he stood back up his arms crossed behind his back, his chest was puffed out like an asshole. I just sighed, turning back towards the others.

“Good Evening Ladies. For those of you whom I have not had the pleasure of meeting my name is Sue Clearwater. You may all call my Sue. “Sue started by walking to the middle of group circle we all where sitting in by chance. “I would like to first welcome you all Home. We have a couple new arriving guests today.” Sue was already turning her attention to me then the other lazy girl still mumbling to her probation officer.

“Before we begin I would like to go over all the rules for the not only the new comers but as a reminder to all of us. “Picking up a hand out she began to read off. I started to zone out watching all the erratic behavior of the other girls, they all seemed to get along for the most part but the way they looked back at me I could tell I was an outsider and making friends would not be as easy as it was back home, at my real home. I then started to wonder if I even had friends back home, if any of them would ever talk to me again. We always used to make fun of drug users and now I guess technically I am or at least I was one.

“Black pay attention.” Sgt Lahote must have seen me gaze off. I looked back at Sue who was discussing a rule with one of the girls.

“Ok now that we have gotten that out of the way let’s begin by having the new comers introduce themselves. Rachel, why don’t you go first?” The second she spoke my name I turned a new shade of red and the room’s eyes all fell on me. I went to stand up but my cuffs yanked me back down earning a roar of laughter from the group. Sgt Lahote knelt down and un-cuffed me from the chair but moved the cuffs to the front of me. Sue settled everyone down and waited for me to begin.

“I’m Rachel.” I said not having the slightest idea of what else to say. Sue just smiled encouraging towards me. They room all mutter ‘Hi Rachel’ I looked back at Sue and shrugged my shoulders. “Honey, tell us a little about yourself why are you here?” She questioned, I instantly tensed up. I felt Lahote move closer as if he was waiting for me to run. “I broke the law” I said not wanting everyone to know my business.

“For fucks sake just tells us what makes you a nut case like the rest of us!” Someone in the group snapped obviously annoyed. Sue stood up shaking her head” Victoria you know it was not easy on your first day either. Be supportive that is why we are here.”  I arched a brow at the girl slightly shaking my head laughing to myself.

“A nut case? I am not a nut case; I do not flip out when people make eye contact with me threatening to smash faces in. I, as a normal person, do not fucking freak out about imaginary cameras in paintings of trees, and I defiantly keep my lady bits in my pants. You all might be fucking nut cases and fucking satisfied with being a low grade of a person but I am not. I am here because apparently taking a pad of paper is against the law and taking too many pills by mistake is a fucking crime that labels you batshit crazy.” I snapped getting pissed off with the way they all seem to be judging me. Sgt. Lahote put a hand on my shoulder lightly pushing on it to signal me to sit down only when I sat down he kept his hand on my shoulder. Not aggressively, just almost supportively.

The girl who was trying her damn well best to seduce the guy in the suit slowly turned her attention back to me. Sue had begun to speak but the girl cut her off.  “You think we all started off this way?” She blinked a bunch, as if she was trying to remember what she was about to do. She shook her head and looked right at me. “Like we used to play crack head Barbie or some shit growing up? We all had dreams and shit but life throws piles of shit out way. I don’t give a fuck who you are or why you think you’re better all of us are here.” She started to stand but they suit held her hand, pulling her back down. “You’re the one out of all of us in cuffs, so you want to explain that? I am no better then you, but you damn well believe that there isn’t one of you bitches that are better then me. These suited douche bags with your badges and your pointy needle drugs that are the low lives.” I don’t know why, but when she spoke I listened, I heard the sorrow in her voice. Before I could even say anything another girl started to speak.

“I was going to be a pro tennis player. I had my dream in the palm of hand. I went out one night to celebrate. My friends and I had a few to many to drink. I thought I was cool to drive. I ended up driving us into a tree. Killed my best friend shattered my playing arm. They gave pain killers for my arm but I couldn’t stop taking them even after I was healed. I lost everything I loved. What is worst is I have a 2 year old. I took pain killers to get high not in the right frame of mind. I gave him a bath one night and dozed off. I woke up to him drowning in the tub, My now ex-husband yelling at me while he saved his life.” She started to trail off, I glanced at Sue who I thought for sure would have intervened by now but she sat and just listened while everyone got more involved with the topic.

I relaxed the more I heard the stories. I became more aware of the fact that everyone here no matter what the reason was, was still human. We all had a pass we wish we could go back to; we all have made mistakes we regret.

At the end of the meeting I oddly felt calm and at peace within myself.  It’s not an everyday thing to feel so calm and not so out of place just by sitting around and listening, well mostly listening. Aside from my minor outburst the other girls all took turns talking about the lives they used to have and how they all hoped this home could get them back there.  “Rachel, that was a great start today!”  I tore my eyes away from watching the other girls all leave together out the back doors I am assuming for a smoke. Why else would they go out in the freezing rain? Sue was smiling as bright as ever at me, honestly kind of creped me out. She was so happy that I spoiled native princess side came ragging out the way it did.

“ It was?” My tone was in obvious disbelief. I lifted my arms up threading my fingers through the roots of my hair groaning when I am reminded of the cuffs as the cold metal rested on my forehead. Sue nodded and looked over to Lahote. She kept a smile but I noticed her eyes slightly widen at him.

“Yeah, Opening up no matter how you do it is always a good start.” His hand rested heavily on my shoulder again, my hands dropped down so I could look up at him much to my surprise to see Lahote actually smiling down at me.

“Come on, I want you to meet Isabella. I think the two of you would really hit it off.” Sue beamed at the idea of taking me on some sort of play date. Lahote gave me a slight nudge to get me moving I couldn’t help but to clear down shaking my head. This guy seriously needed to learn to use words instead of settle hand gestures to get me moving like some damn blind dog or whatever.

    “Isabella, I would like you to meet Rachel, she came in only just today too.” Lahote stood closely behind me again, I could tell because the heat from his body collided with the heat from mine, I glanced up at him seeing a new threatening stance but this time it wasn’t aimed towards me. I blinked confused as I looked back to Sue trying to quickly sort it out in my head shaking the thought away.

“Hi.” She grunted looking at me. Taking in a slow breath I quickly decided to play nice and at least try to make some sort of friend. “Hi there Isabella.” I nodded towards her, remembering how my father taught me to be welcoming to the new people who enter our lives. He always believed all people cross paths for a reason.

 “Don’t call me that.” She said with a bite. I blinked at her totally confused looking to Sue then Lahote. Sue just smiled as always letting the interaction move along without her inventing. Lahote’s eyes slightly narrowed at the girl. The tension was quickly rising putting me on edge.

“Okay then… Bella?” I asked testing the nickname, My brows furrowed at her nasty response.  “Don’t call me that either.” I sighed rubbing my face getting tired of this name guessing game taking one last stab at it looking to Lahote and Sue first to see if they would object to me trying a third time.

“Alright then, Izzy.”  I forced a smile but it dropped when she went off like I called her a dirty slut or something. “Jesus fucking Christ if you call me Izzy, I will choke you to death with your own fucking handcuffs.”  I finally snapped fucking irritated with her attitude after her little lets support each other speech which was clearly bullshit.  “Well for fucks sakes, what do you want me to call you?” Lahote shifted behind me, oddly I could feel it without even having to be touching him his stance became more tense I was sure he would be yelling at me next but when I followed the glare of her eyes to Lahote he was staring her down. They seemed to daring each other to make a move of some sort.  She ended up just smirking looking back at me.

“I don’t want you to call me.” She spat out walking away, I rolled my eyes muttering under my breath. “What an Xiladak”  I looked over hearing Lahote cough a laugh squeezing the back of my neck leading me towards the stairs and into my bedroom. I stood expectantly in front of him waiting for my cuffs to be taken off.  When he stood there in the door way staring at me I shook my cuffs at him to get his attention but all Lahote did was take in a deep breath staring at me.

“Do I have to sleep in them?” I question confused at the way he was staring at me, he shook his head slightly, his dark eyes stayed steady on me as he reached for the keys un-cuffing my hands. “Are you planning on being at all meetings?” I asked turning away walking to the mess on my floor kneeling down trying to sort through it all but having a hard time picking a area to start.

Again Lahote stayed silent just watching me by the door. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye getting that awkward what am I supposed to do here feeling so I stood up. “What?” I snapped looking right back at him. Lahotes brow lifted but his facial features all stayed unreadable. 

“Nothing.” He mutter not exactly believable.  I had been shipped around all day, I haven’t ate and I was getting tired so needless to say the bitch in me started to wake up. “Then what the hell are you still doing here? Are you planning on how to embarrass me next?” My jaw locked holding back a lot of what I wanted to say but Sgt asshat seemed assumed shaking his head slightly with an nonchalant shrug of is shoulders.  

“I have plenty of Ideas to punish you for your little fuck ups that are bound to happen Talo. It’s up to you how often that will be. But I can tell with your mood swings you will be fucking up.”  The sleekness in his tone was taunting me. It’s like he wanted to see me in trouble but why? 

“You know what, Fuck you. Fuck you and your superior fucking attitude. You must get off on this shit huh? Pushing broken girls around making them snap so you can make yourself feel important!” His comment made my blood boil and before I could even stop myself I was yelling at him making a bigger mess on my floor throwing clothes around looking for my Pajama bottoms.

“Is that what you are Rachel? Broken. “  My head snapped in his direct, if they could my eyes would be spitting acid out at him refusing to give any sort of answer. Lahote looked at me with the same disappointed eyes as Jacob. Lahote shook his head stepping back starting to shut the door but not without getting the last punch in. “I will see you tomorrow. You have proved nothing as of yet.  And you are right. I shouldn’t have judge the file work on you, you’re a way bigger mess then described.” With that he shut the door, my mouth literary fell open. Who the fuck was he to say some shit like that about me? What gives him any sort of right  to know me for all of 6 hours and judge me like that. Fucking Asshat. That’s what Sgt Paul Lahote was. I fucking asshat.