POSTED: The Home

(Signed: Blacksheep Fiction = Swan)

Swan 3

The smell of food turned my stomach again and I pushed my face further into the pillow. The relief lasted for all of two minutes before the door to the room open and then shut again and the smell increased ten fold. “Rise and shine, sleepy head, I have breakfast for you.”

“Fuck off I am not hungry.” I snapped, trying to kick his ass off my bed without success where he had perched.

There was the sound of a tray being set on my night stand and a heavy bounce on the bed before I was being dragged out of my comfy paradise. “What the fuck?”

“You need to get up and to put it mildly, you stink.” He said casually as he carried me to the shower. I started to squirm out of his grasp but he held tight. “Stop it before I drop you. I will stay in there and wash you myself if you don’t behave.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Isn’t that some kind of breech of patient and doctor relationship thing?”

“Not when it’s done clinically and without emotion.” He said, planting me on my feet and turning on the warm water. “Now, are you going to do this the hard way or the easy way?”

I smirked, loving how he just made shit so easy for me. I sat on the shower floor and glared up at him. He sighed and shook his head. “Alright, we are five today. I got it.”

Jared reached over, pulled the shower tab making the water go from the spigot to the sprayer, and it hit me full blast making me gasp. I stayed stubborn though, not moving as the water pelted me. To his credit, he stayed true as well, getting soaked as he peeled my clothes off in a detached way. He scrubbed me down and even did my hair, which I know was a bitch because there were pounds of the stuff and you only get four showers a week at the hospital and I hadn’t gotten any in jail. It took three shampoo and two conditioner rounds to get it clean and unknotted.

When he was satisfied that I was clean, he turned off the water and stepped out of the shower toweling him self off, soaked clothes and all and walked out of the bathroom and into his room, which was easy because, it was a dormer type bathroom, so our bedrooms were connected through it.

He came back with clean dry clothes on and I still sat in the bottom of the shower, glaring at him. He held out the towel as you would to wrap around a child. I stood slowly and stepped out of the shower, ignoring the towel and walking back into my room naked, not giving a damn about the puddles I was making along the way.

I wouldn’t tell him, but I actually felt better having taken a shower. I felt lighter and just… better. Only thing that would make it better would be sprinkling some getting laid into the mix. I turned to Shrinky and smirked. “Hey there Shrinky, how firm are those doctor patient morals of yours?”

He lifted a brow at me and busied himself in the bathroom. I guess being detached and clinic only lasts so long. “Rock solid, Isabella. Get dressed.”

“Don’t call me that.” I grunted out and sighed, flopping on the bed, ignoring his request. “Well damn.” I sat up to my elbows fast though as another thought came to me. “You know, Mike did have a thing for me in high school. I’ll bet I could get him over here for some fun.”

Jared sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You know I could get Sue in here to dress you. She is kind, but I guarantee she won’t be gentle or sweet about a grown ass woman who refuses to dress herself out of some little childish tantrum.”

My brows rose into my hairline and I smirked at him. “Well, well, well. The doctor does have a set of balls under that dress he wears. His balls are apparently named Sue, but still. The fact that the threat was thrown out is a step in to the manly direction.”

He stomped his way into my room and came right up to the edge of the bed. “You are not a petulant sixteen year old child Isabella. You don’t get to act this way in the normal world and have it be alright with everyone because of what happened to you.” He seethed. I lost all humor in me and suddenly, I wanted to cover up. “What happened was horrible and should never happen to anyone, but it doesn’t give you a free pass!”

I sat up pushing past him and opened my duffle. I rummaged around inside until I came out with a white tank top and gray sweats. It felt like everything was spiraling down into darkness and I was trying to claw my way back out. “You don’t know anything about that.” I choked, trying to shove the clothes over my body in a hurry. I spotted Mike’s business card that he said he had thrown into my bag. “You don’t know anything about anything, you’re like 12, straight out of shrink school!”

I didn’t turn and look, but I could feel Shrinky right behind me. “Yes I do, I have read what happened to you. I researched it non-stop since they handed you to me as my only and high priority case. I have yet to find out why you were so high priority though.” He was speaking calm, but I could hear the fury leaking into his voice. “You act like the world owes you a favor when really; maybe you should be thanking the world for leaving you intact and not ending up like your family.” I covered my ears but he grabbed my wrists and uncovered them again. “You are not the only person in the world to lose their family in such a tragic way. There are people all over the world that had even had it worse, but they are still walking around and surviving each day like a normal person. They are not in and out of mental facilities and jail. They are not treating everyone else like shit just to make themselves feel better!”

I spun on him looking him dead in the eyes and feeling the almost comforting heat rise in my body that signaled the moments before I completely lost it. “You know nothing about it. NOTHING. Give me your phone.” I clenched my teeth when he just stared at me without moving. “Give me your fucking phone.”

Slowly he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small cheap phone. Something I would have called a burner phone when I was on the streets. I flipped it open and dialed Mike’s number from the card he left him my duffle.

“Isabella, if you just get over this—”

“Don’t. Fucking. Call. Me. That!” I ground out. “Fuck you, how about I cut off your fucking balls and then let me repeat to you how you need to get over it.” I snapped.

“Swan?” I had never been so relieved to hear my parole officer’s voice. “Oh god, Mike. Please come get me, this was a mistake. I am about to stab my shrink in the eye with the Chinese hair pick I have in my duffle if you don’t come and get me right now.”

There was soft swearing on the other end before Mike’s smooth voice came back. “Okay is he in front of you right now?”

“Yes.” I said honestly, eying Shrinky contemptuously. He was looking back at me with a cautious look.

“Do you have a weapon on him?”

“No.”

“Hand him the phone.” Mike said gently.

“No.”

Mike sighed. “Swan goddamnit, you know that if he sends one bad report to Tyler and Tyler is feeling even a mite spiteful today, you will be going to prison.”

I growled, feeling the tears run down my face without my permission. “He is talking about my family like he knows what happened!” I yelled. “He doesn’t know me! He doesn’t know them!”

“Give him the phone, Swan.” Mike said, more authority leaking into his calm soothing tone.

I cried out, throwing the phone in frustration and sitting heavily to the floor, just staring straight ahead at nothing. I wanted to feel nothing. I closed my eyes, praying for numbness, but it didn’t come. Instead, came the usual assault of senses from that day. The smell of my father’s cologne, the sound of my mother screaming, the smell of gun powder and blood mixed. 

There was a snapping noise and Jared’s face hovered in front of me. “Isabella, come back here. You’re in La Push home for women. Do you know what day it is? Can you hear me?”

I skittered backwards away from him frowning as I came back into the present time. There was a bang on the door and Jared stood up and opened it, talking low to whoever was on the other side. Finally he moved aside and Mike walked into the room looking around.

I made a desperate noise and was on my feet running at him as soon as I saw him. He caught me, allowing me to wrap myself around him, shaking badly as all my emotion drained from my body. He held me close to him, a hand holding my head to his chest and one at my back practically supporting me.

I felt the stubble from his chin on the top of my head and inhaled the smell on his jacket. It felt slightly damp, which meant it was probably raining outside. He was murmuring softly and stroking my hair. “Its okay, you’re going to be fine, Swan. You’re right, he doesn’t know you. It’s okay.” He put my back to Jared, so he could face him, I guess. “Have you lost you’re fucking mind? What the fuck is wrong with you?” It took me a full three seconds to realize he wasn’t talking to me.

“She needs to learn that the behavior and attitude that she uses to keep herself from coming to grips with the past isn’t acceptable behavior in the normal world.” Shrinky said. His voice was a tad defensive.

Mike sighed rubbing my back and pulling me towards the door as if shielding me from the horrible memories that threatened to invade me. “You don’t fucking start right off the bat forcing her to face this shit outright. Are you a real fucking shrink, because right now you fucking suck at it?”

There was a small room off to the side up stairs, like a second common room, that Mike took me too after we left my room. Shrinky didn’t follow. “Okay your safe now Swan, you can let go.” I shook my head and remained locked around his waist, making him laugh. “You know if people think we are too close, they will assign you another probation officer.”

My grip went slack and I stepped away from him at once, looking up at him with a smirk, before rubbing my face in frustration. “Look, I know it’s pathetic, I am sorry, but you said if I was about to do something wrong I should call you. I was seriously going to shank the fucker.”

He shook his head and reached for my hand holding it lightly. “I am glad you did, I do not want to have to come here to arrest you for murdering your shrink.” He let go of my hand as if he just realized it wasn’t proper behavior of a parole officer and instead ran his fingers through his hair. “Look, you know he is only doing his job right?”

I shrugged sitting down in one of the chairs. There were noises around the house, sounds of the other girls out and about I supposed. Not like it was a bright beautiful morning, according to view from the window in here, it looked like it was pouring again. “Yeah well he came on like molasses and that shit is hard to choke down, you know?”

He smiled slightly and nodded. “Yeah I get it, but you have to try too.”

I rolled my eyes nodding. “Yeah I know.”

Mike sat down next to me and touched my face so that I would look at him. “Don’t you think it’s time? Time to just face this and move on, I mean, you have been carrying this heavy weight of what happened for so long. Look at what it’s done to you so far. Look at where it’s gotten you.”

I sighed, not wanting to agree with him at all. It’s made me strong and able to handle the simple bullshit of life without falling apart. No, it wasn’t time. I smirked at him in a suggestive way. “You know I was going to call you anyways.”

Mike frowned at me for avoiding the subject and sighed. “Oh yeah? Why?”

I shrugged leaning closer to him, biting my lip a little. “Well Shrinky in there forced me to take a shower. All manhandling me as he washed me, but when he was done I thought, well now that I am clean, I need a good fuck.”

Mike swallowed audibly and I grinned. “So I thought of all the fun we had in high school and maybe we could use this parole officer thing to our advantage.”

My hand slid up his leg and he shot out of the seat as if someone jabbed his ass with a needle. “Whoa, whoa, whoa there Swan. You know we can’t do anything like that. I will be thrown off this case and you will get some hard ass. Trust me; there are a bunch of them in the department.” 

I sighed and laid back in the chair looking up at him. “Yeah I actually saw one the other day; he cuffed his girl just to sit in a group meeting. This chick wasn’t even like psycho or anything. In fact she reminded me of the Chief’s Talo from back in the day.” I snorted. “I like you a lot Mike, but if you cuff me for no reason, I will kick your ass.”

He grinned at me and offered a hand so I could stand. I took it and we headed down stairs. “You hungry?”

I shook my head violently and covered my belly. “Oh god no. Shrinky drugged me with Ativan last night and that is still fucking up my stomach today.” I explained, letting him lead me to the porch. He stopped me by the railing and turned me around to face him again.

I watched as he dropped to one knee, checking my ankle monitor. He was already different in the few seconds it took to get outside. He was tense and had a pissed off air about him now. I could see the muscle in his neck ticking. I frowned at him when he stood up, poking the muscle with my index finger. “Why so serious?” I joked.

He shook his head running his fingers through his hair again before pulling a new pack of smokes out of his jacket pocket and handing them to me. “Here I got you these last night; I figured that you would need them today.”

I took them, but was still looking at his tense face. “Thank you, but that isn’t going to make me forget I just asked you what was wrong.”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “Okay so let me get this right, in less then 24 hours that you have been in this house, you were drugged, manhandled and physically washed and then berated for not coming to grips with watching your family get murdered right in front of you?”

I thought it over and nodded as I pulled a cigarette out and held my hand out for a lighter I knew he had. “Yeah that is about the size of it.”

Mike handed me the lighter and rubbed his face. “Look, I am going to have to go up and speak with this kid before I go. Are you going to be okay out here?”

I nodded shooing him along. “Yeah I am a big girl, I can handle being on my own out here for a while.”

He put his hands up in surrender and headed for the door. “Alright, alright, I am right inside if you need me.”

I sat in the old rocker I was in the night before and looked over the railing at the heaps of water falling down today. It would have been a beautiful day for a walk, if allowed to move more then 200 feet from the grounds that is. If Mike kills my shrink, I wonder if I will be given another, or they will just give up on me all together.

There was talking to my left, arguing really between two guys and some chick. I stared openly, enjoying the entertainment when I realized it was the shy chick and her over zealous parole officer, but who was…

“Jacob Black?” I said out loud before I could even stop myself. The shy chick and her parole officer took the opportunity to talk amongst themselves and the other man turned and looked at me. There wasn’t much time spent on my face before I could practically see the light bulb switch on.

“Isabella Swan, as I live and breathe, holy shit it’s you.” He said stepping forward holding out his arms. I went straight for him hugging him tightly and wrapping my legs around his waist laughing.

“Oh Jakie! What the hell are you doing here?” I mumbled into his neck, relishing the good memories that came from his embrace.

He grinned, pulling back some, but still holding me. “My sister is here, I was just visiting.” He shook his head as if still trying to comprehend my appearance in front of him. He finally set me on my feet again and I grinned up at him. “Well damn girl, time has done you very good.”

I grinned spinning as if I weren’t in old gray sweats and a white tank. I looked him over and bit my lip. “I could definitely say the same for you. Damn Black, I’ll bet you got either a brothel of women or a wife with forty kids.”

He shook is head, taking my hand and leading me along the deck for a walk. “No, actually, since dad died, I have just taken over as Chief; I am also on the police force, so I haven’t really had time to have either.”

My jaw dropped and I looked over at him as we walked. “A police officer? Jacob Black, you are not a police officer, how do you live with yourself knowing what we used to do?” I lowered my voice and leaned closer to him conspiratorially. “We used to break into the school so that we could get out of the rain, smoke weed in the nap room, and fuck on those little mats they had there!”

He laughed hard and coming to a stop when we ran out of porch to walk on. He turned and faced me smirking mischievously. “Well only I and you know about those things, I could always just off you and the secrets will always be safe.”

I grinned licking my lips. “Or we can go do them together again.”

He leaned in close to my ear, speaking in a breathy whisper that made me shiver. “You don’t have another cherry I can pop for you and I don’t have the rabbit anymore.”

I put a hand to his chest to steady myself and laughed when he moved back some wiggling his brows. “Yeah well I popped your cherry that night too, baby.” I said feigning a glare. “Besides, we did it in more places then the rabbit and the school.”

Jake gave a smirk and shrugged. “Yeah well, you gott’a be sure right?”

I laughed hard. “Be sure that the virginity status was well and gone?”

“Exactly.” He said laughing with me.

“Where the fuck did you go, Swan?” Mikes voice cracked like a whip making me jump. I turned fast, feeling guilty for having told him I would be all right and then wandering off. “You were supposed to stay by the door, no to go wandering off with random people.”

Jake put a hand up in soothing gesture and stepped forward some. “Relax Newton, we are old friends and don’t act like I am some random person, we work for the same police station.”

Mike narrowed his eyes at Jake and shook his head. “No, you are no better then a PI with his dick in his hand, I am a parole officer and you wandered off with my charge.”

Now Jake narrowed his eyes and I knew shit was going to get bad. I came between them, looking at Mike. “Hey, hey its okay Mike, we were just talking and I am sorry about the wandering off thing. I won’t do it again, okay?”

Mike looked at me and grabbed my wrist, pulling me towards the front of the house again. I heard Jake protest, but Mike was too pissed to listen. He walked me right back into the house and started for my room again. “If you are going to make it out of here with out an extension to your sentence or getting kicked out for non-compliance, then you need to listen to what I tell you.”

“He was an old friend, Mike.” I said, finally getting pissed and jerking my arm away. “What is your problem?”

Mike moves us back into the upstairs common room and pushed me against the wall, putting his hands on either side of my head. “You and I are old friends too Swan and I don’t think he would give two shits if you got sent to prison.” He seethed his face close to mine. “I do, however, care. I care a lot and if you get mixed in with another residences family member, you are just asking for trouble, Swan.”

I frowned, nodding some. “But—”

Mike shook his head. “No, no buts’. You stay away from him and any other guy, Swan, I mean it. Normally you don’t even have to ask for trouble, it just finds you, so don’t go searching it out this time. Okay?”

I crossed my arms and sighed. “Fine, alright, I get it.”

He nodded and stepped back taking my arm again, more gently this time and leading me back to my room. Jared stood when we walked in and almost nervously moved his hands about, seemingly unsure to do with them. Mike leaned close to my ear. “Be nice, I have to go to the station, I will be back around dinner.”

I nodded, watching him leave before turning back to look at Jared, who still looked unsure. “I… apologize for my behavior before.”

I nodded and shrugged a shoulder. “Get it, but lets pretend I am a blushing virgin and you need to take it a bit slow, alright?”

He looked away rubbing his neck and I narrowed my eyes grinning slowly. “What’s wrong, you act like you’re the blushing virgin.”

He didn’t say anything, just kept looking at everything but me.

I gasped. “No shit! Really?”

He rolled his eyes and gave a small smirk shrugging. “I am a very dedicated student.”

I came into the room more, sitting on the bed. “Not even some heavy grinding? A blow job? Are you some kind of religious freak saving yourself for marriage?” I gasped a little being dramatic. “Are you gay?”

He sighed running his fingers through his hair. “I really don’t think—”

“If you want me to trust you this cannot be a one way street.” I said calmly, void of any thing other then a matter of fact tone.

His hands went up in surrender. “Alright, alright.” He said immediately. “No, nothing other then kissing and no, I am not a religious freak. I am not gay. I was seriously just a dedicated student.”

I couldn’t help it, I cracked up laughing, which of course mad him frown. We heard Sue down stairs ringing something the equivalent to a cow bell to signal everyone for lunch and I couldn’t help but think, this man was no longer someone I saw as a hurdle, but now I saw him as a challenge. I will get this man laid, even if I had to do it myself.