POSTED: The Home

Rachel 4

"Talo" He steady temperamental tone has become a sound of familiarity to me, I didn't have to look up to see who was speaking to me. I already knew I was in trouble. How much trouble was the question? Since he used my nick name and not my last name I guessed not too much. Then again I could feel that hard stare glaring down at me while I pushed the food around on my plate.

I couldn't acknowledge him even if I wanted to. I was too caught up in my own safe world to really hear anything or anyone. I was completely checked out, spaced off into a place where I wasn't looked down. Somewhere I was free to be my happy self without anyone having the right to try and take that from me.

"Paul, she is in a very delicate state right now. Please proceed with caution" The soothing whisper from Sue took me back to when my mother was alive. The fact that I was now imagining a life with Sue as my mother had me sinking in deeper to my black hole of make-believe. "I got it Sue."  I watched my plate slowly getting pulled away from me I frowned not having anything to make me look busy now before I sighed to look up to him not daring to try and speak.

"What happened?" He questioned in a cautious tone but I already knew he knew exactly what happened.  His finger drummed along the table annoyingly. He must of caught my disapproval because he drummed harder. "Please stop." I mumbled avoiding his eyes.

"Oh she speaks." His tone was playful but I was not in the mood I pushed myself back from the table getting up. That was when Robocop came out to fuck my day up even more. "Hold it. You do not walk away from me. You have not finished your food. Sit."

"Do I look like a fucking bitch? You think you can snap your fingers and force me to sit and eat THAT" I pointed to the food with a grim frown. Lahote stood up picking the plate up, his eyes stayed heavily on me as he grabbed my hand planting the pate in it. "Put it away and meet me outside.  Don't you dare have me come back in here in 10 minutes looking for you?"

"Whatever Robodick" I muttered frustrated walking to the back of the kitchen thankful I didn't need to eat that crap. Sue was in the kitchen and took my plate she smiled sadly at me. I would have asked why she was upset but at the moment I really didn't care. I was betting it was because of my one on one session today.

Lahote was standing by his car with the back door open perched against the driver door, his arms crossed over his chest. I stopped in front of the door grinning but Lahote was not.

"Mike look they are leaving, why don't you take me for a ride. Or better yet I can ride you" I looked behind me to see that swan chick looking out the door at me with a fuck me grin. I rolled my eyes shaking my head when Lahote's throat clearing forced me to look back at him.

"Get in Black." His hand gestured to the back seat I took a few steps stopping before getting in to look at him. "What no cuffs? I can't tell how much trouble I'm really in are you taking me to Jail?" Honestly speaking I couldn't figure out what the angle is right now.

"Should I be?" Sgt Lahote helped me in the back seat waiting for me to buckle up my shoulder shrugged and he shut the car door getting in, his eyes instantly caught mine from the review mirror while he started the car. "How about we get some real food, its easier to talk with a full stomach."

" I am not hungry."  I muttered like a disobedient child, Sgt Lahote shot me a warning glare from the mirror making me fall in the back of the seat crossing my arms. "I am not asking if you are hungry now am I." I couldn't help but to laugh shaking my head. " No I guess not. Maybe Jerkface could take notes from you and not ask so many questions. Not like he listens to my answers. I mean who the hell ask how you feel and when you answer contracts and tells you that you feel something different. Why not just save me the time and write down how you all think I should feel and get on with the day."

Letting out a frustrated sigh I leaned my head back liking the way the cold glass felt against my forehead. "That doesn't sound like it would help you at all." Sgt Lahote gave his two cents while driving us to a diner not to far from the house. "You were very open with the therapist at the rehab from what I am told." Lahote parked the car looking back at me from the review, I shrugged looking back. "I don't want to keep having to repeat the same story over and over, reliving it does not help. Besides He didn't ask he..."Sighs trailing off not wanting to go into more detail. Lahote got out of the car opening my door for me.

When I got out Sgt. Lahote put a heavy hand on my shoulder giving it a tight squeeze nodding towards the diner. "This place has the best burger and fries you'll ever eat." I laughed when he opened the door for me rubbing his stomach.  As soon as the door opened you could smell all the amazing flavors being cooked. The place was packed actually all you could hear was dishes clinging a loud hum of people talking. The Sgt walked in as if he owned the place nodding to the hostess as he guided me inside. He paused for a moment looking around then grinned putting his hand on the back of my neck walking me towards a woman who smiled wide when she seen Lahote.

"Paul!" she grinned wide at him pulling him into a tight hug. "It's so good to see you. You're a hard man to get a hold of." I stood behind him watching; he wrapped his arms tightly around her and smiled without acknowledging me. "I have been busy with work and all. You think I can get a couple burgers to go?"  The woman looked at me then back to Sgt. Lahote her brow arched and reluctantly nodded. "Oh course. Let me go get that started for you." She smiled sadly back at me and walked away. I had questions but the way Lahote ran his fingers through his hair looking around made me feel sad for him.

"Have a seat Black, Right over there by the window. I'll be back." I could tell by the tone in his voice that he was testing me, he didn't know it but I don't think I could truly defy him even if I wanted to so I went and sat down while he went back and talked to the lady. I was curious to know what we were doing here or why he even took me out after what I did to the quake back at the house, but I was more curious about his story. Sgt. Lahote was mysterious and hard to see through his dark eyes. Most people aren't like that unless something has happened to them.

"On our feet Black lets go." Lahote walked back over carrying a couple bags the lady he was talking to rushed over before we walked out she looked like she wanted to say more then what she actually said. "I hope you enjoy, take care." I didn't know what to say; luckily he spoke for me, towing me out to the car. "She will, I can promise that on both." He winked at her and opened the car door for me to get in back again handing me the bags of food.

"Can't I sit up front?" I feel weird with you driving and me back here. "I asked when he got in, he didn't look up at me just nodded once. I tossed the bags of food on his lap and climbed over the seats to the front earn a chuckle from him. "You could have walked around."

"And risk Mr RoboCop thinking I was escaping. Ha No I'm good." I teased taking the food back opening the bag. "Who was that lady?" Lahote pulled out the drive way, I popped a fry in my mouth looking at him offering him one. Lahote took the fry keeping his eyes on the road. "An old friend." The distances in his tone took me back.  I figured that would be a good place to end my questions. He didn't force me to talk about stuff so I wouldn't do the same. Though thinking about it I wouldn't be able to force him to do anything like he could do with me.

When I realized where he was headed I squealed overly excited. We drove down the long curvy road to the beach. My most absolute favorite place to go.  "You’re taking me to the beach!" I didn't mean to scream out. Lahote laughed nodding. "Yeah, your brother said you used to come here when you where stressed to calm yourself down. We will call it probation therapy. "

As soon as the car stopped I flung my door open jumping out running down to the shore line kicking my shoes off feeling so much better as the sand wiggled between my toes. It was as if a huge weight was lifted from me.  When I looked back Lahote had his hands locked behind his head watching me walking slowly down to meet me at the shore line. I flopped down on the sand looking out at the angry waves.

"Well if I knew it was that easy to make you smile I would have brought you here day one." Lahote chuckled kneeling down beside me, my eyes sideways glanced at him not say anything just wanting to enjoy being outside, watching the waves break. I wanted to enjoy feeling normal for once. "I remember the first time I saw you was here. About 90 percent of the times I saw you, all where here."

Looking at him confused I took a deep breath. "You remember me and I still only remember you as the guy who hung out with Jake. I'm pretty self-involved huh?"  He smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "No, you were a kid; I think your friends were the influence.  I remember once you were here alone and some fish or something washed up. Anyone else would have walked by but you checked if it was alive then helped it back in the water."

"So, what's your point?" I asked sinking my feet deeper into the sand. “I don't think you have ever really had the chance to be yourself. Or get to know yourself. It's why you’re so confused. You never had anyone to just be yourself around."  My shoulders shrugged hugging my knees keeping my eyes on the sand. "I guess no one has ever been interested in the real me.”

"Well I am." Lahote handed me a burger, I didn't think twice it looked so good I started to eat it right away.  I herd him laugh at me but I didn't care it was amazing compared to all the hospital and cheap food I have been feed for the past few months.

Once we finished I looked over at him and sighed. "I didn't mean to exactly cuss the guy out, or throw his dumb degree at him."  I started but kept my eyes on the water. "He asked why I felt I needed the pills after my dad died. I said it started out with me unable to sleep and just not able to really admit to myself he was gone. He told me no. He said No that's not why I did and to stop lying to myself." I stopped when I herd my own tone crack closing my eyes putting all my focus on the crash of the waves.

"Why would he think your lying to yourself?" He asked reluctantly. "Because he read the other therapist notes I guess. He told me I will never recover because I am not brave enough to face any truth on my own that its forced out of me. He said that I'll be in and out of jail unless I started talking to him. I don't like feeling pressured. I don't think he should talk to anyone that way. He thinks he has the right because he has some stupid degree from some unknown collage."

Lahote just sat there listening to me. When I paused he shook his head his eyes seemed far away again, he rubbed the stubble on his chin and sighed. "Why was it easier to talk to the therapist in the rehab for you?"  My finger was drawing circles in the sand thinking back to rehab. "Because she didn't force words down my throat and she let me talk and express myself. She guided me but let me figure things out on my own. I guess." I paused for a long moment before turning sitting up on my knees facing Lahote.

"Am I in trouble? Will he send me to jail?" I asked nervously wondering if that was why he was being so nice because or next stop was county. "No. I will take care of it. But next time you're going to melt down use my number Rachel.  Please. I will take care of the Jerkface for you if you promise to call me next time."

I laughed when he called him Jerkface like the time I had earlier. I was smiling so wide that when his eyes found mine and he saw my smile he couldn't help but to grin back at me. "What?" He laughed kicking me with his foot. "You'll take care of it? You’re my big bad protector now?" I feel back on my hands laughing trying to look away but I couldn't. Lahote winked at me then got up offering me a hand, that I gladly took standing up assuming it was time to go.

"The thought of me as your protector is funny to you?" He questioned trying his hardest to be serious but I saw the corner of his mouth twitch upwards. I started to nod and in a blink of an eye Lahote snatched me up taking off towards the water making me scream but laugh at the same time.

"DON'T PLEASE NOT THE WATER PLEASE!" I was trying my best to plea with him but he ran straight to the water up to his ankles. He let his arms jerk as if he was going to drop me but I clung on to him kicking my feet determined to have him go down with me. Lahote laughed harder again jerking his arms as if to drop me. "Say I am a good protector!" he chuckled not letting me go I snorted a laugh unable to speak. "Say it or I'll drop you!" He demanded again I was nodding but no words came out between my laughing and attempts to breathe. "Say it. Say it now or I'll toss you in with the fishes."

"You're a good one" I laughed to hard to get out the proper words. Lahote dipped me down letting the ends of my hair get wet; I screamed not wanting to mess my hair up. "Ok ok You're the best protector!" Lahote laughed finally setting me down on my feet. I kicked some water at him and took off running towards the car. Sgt Lahote chased after me but I won the race. We both stood by the car out of breath still laughing; he checked the time then nodded for me to get in the car.

"We need to head back." I frowned when he opened the car door waiting for me to open mine and get in. "We can come back but next time it will be on a good behavior visit. Today was just to give you some room to breathe a little alright?"

"Yeah ok. I guess we won't be coming back. “I teased noticing a picture on his dash board of a beautiful woman. Lahote was starting the car shaking his head smiling but disapproving. I leaned over grabbing the picture before he could react. "Who is this?" I studied the picture not noticing Lahote tense up while driving. That was when I noticed the ring on his finger.  "Is she your wife? You're married?"

"Yeah" He didn't give me a straight answer his whole mood changed making me think maybe there was trouble at home. I handed the picture back keeping quiet the rest of the way to the home feeling as if I did or said something wrong.

When we got back to the house we both got out, Lahote walked me to the staircase stopping me before we went up. "Talo, I was serious when I said to call me for anything, even if you need to talk before you do something you regret, don't hesitate." I nodded still feeling like I over stepped a line or something and ran up the stairs. Lahote didn't walk out the house he walked towards the shrinks’ office which made me more nervous wondering what exactly he was up to.

When I got to my room there was flowers on my dresser, I shut the door then found the card that came with them. Sis’ I am sorry for being an ass and trying to push you. We don't have to do anything you are not ready for. Love you always, Jacob.'

I smelled the flowers moving them to the night stand sitting on my bed rubbing my face and leaning back on the bed oddly jealous that Lahote was married but at the same time glad he had found that special person in his life. I hope one day when I am done with all this stuff I can find someone to be myself with and be happily in love, married have kids. It gave me something to look forward to.

I’m quickly reminded how far off that dream was though by one of the girls suddenly screaming for help and throwing things around. I wasn’t sure at first if I should go and see, because more often then not here, if a woman is randomly screaming for help, it isn’t because there is anything the rest of the world can see that is attacking her.

Finally I decided to go check it out. I crept out my door and went a few doors down to seeing the Swan chick leaning against the door frame, watching this poor naked woman freak out on everyone. They just got her drugged when I came up behind Swan.

“Whoa, guess she was having a hard time adjusting, huh?” I said, staring at the woman in the room. I couldn’t imagine freaking out so bad that it took three grown men and a needle of drugs to calm me. I wonder what happened in her life to cause her such great pain.

Swan half turned to me and smiled. “So, Rachel…” I didn’t like the way she just said my name. “As it turns out we could have been in-laws at one point.” I didn’t think that was possible but I made myself look interested and listen to her reasoning.
She faced me fully and I could see the malice in her smile. “You see your little brother Jakie and I were fucking like rabbits back in the day.” She said smirking and leaning close to my ear and spoke with a breathiness that made me shiver. “I popped his little man cherry and we fucked all over la push. If I had stayed, who knows, maybe I would have been your sister in law.”
My eyes instantly saw red and I clenched my fists as she turned from me like I was a piece of trash she was done with. Fine bitch, let’s play. I snorted as if I were amused and smirked at her when she turned to look at me. “I doubt that would have happened if you stayed. You see, my brother is chief and everyone in la push knows what a fucked up crazy slut you are, so there would be no way that he would have been with you for longer then it took to use you like the whore that you are.”
She was defiantly going to hit me. I never got into a fight before, but I could see that she was going to hit me. She looked impressed, but yeah, there was a hit coming.
Totally worth it.
I closed my eyes waiting for the hit but instead Paul’s voice chimed into my ear. “You know that this is one of those thing you call me for, right?” I jumped and he physically picked me up and moved me before Swan could get off a good kick. She wasn’t aiming for me, but fighting at random when a big officer, someone I have never seen before, hemmed her up with her hand behind her back. I saw her counselor coming down the hall and smiled to myself as Paul let me away.
Karma bitch. Being bad was a scary kind of fun.